Hanging by the jacuzzi trying to relax unwind always on the go busy at work no time for a social life. Had a beer or two for a buzz not getting wasted or smashed self destruction isolated pity party.
Having fun socializing with the crowd instead of being antisocial usually anti establishment. Working on being better than losing it over people who don't value or care about you.

Pushing back against the lies
Being mentally abused by opposers
Emotionally scared opening his heart
Physically exhausted coming up short
Busting his **** still denied his efforts
Told the truth seen as crazy out of line
Had an opinion considered delusional
In the trenches doing the hard work
Others observe trying to sabotage
With the team taking on the pressure

He was a fighter too many snakes slithering like if they believed in him. They opposed him and usually against him. What did they want why are they being so nice when he was use to them being cut throat. He didn't want them riding his coat tail. He didn't want to associate with them.
Everyone grew distant at one point was very close. Divided because everyone would taunt and provoke you comparing your life with those that aren't like you.

As his elders retired he felt the pressure being in the heart of the town the curb appeal would need to be kept up. The bar was set high but no pressure that was the joke among the crew.
Change was coming the trio awaited their fourth member all they wanted was someone who worked and got their stuff done took pride in their work. Not expecting too much but did want this person to carry their load fill that burden without designating it to others.

He'd give everything up for everyone he loved. After a while he felt taken for granted overwhelmed. He thought highly of them and they treated him like he was worthless. Treating them fair telling him he was crazy.
Able to step outside of his comfort zone tired of feeling boxed in. Shining more while everyone gave him crap causing him to doubt himself.
Part of the team hoping everything works itself out instead of false promises and ideal outcomes

Looking in the mirror staying optimistic. Thinking of getting back into the social seen in his late 30s thinking it might be different. Since he wasn't the same as before. He knew better knowing his choices could make him fall back into bad habits.
He thought about dating but felt too old for the crowd. He missed his opportunity with people his age but was learning to network hopefully find more like minded people which was harder to do now a days.
He worked hard for his and no one seemed to match his energy. He gave more than most and others never put forth any in return. Not sure what he wanted since he was setting new goals. It took a while for him but he made it to somewhere better. He was only going forward not looking back.
He would remember things that made him hold back scared to be in the same boat. Making the same mistakes taking a deep breaths composing himself. Staying sharp and focused resetting his feelings and emotions to not fall back into those bad routines.

Why did he feel or at that way he was either uptight or free spirit. He just wanted to be free of judgement but found not everyone is going to like him.
Hearing from an old friend wondering what does it mean is she going to visit. He had feelings but valued her as a friend over his ****** urges that would prolly ruin a good friendship. They got along better a relationship might ruin things between them.
He was confused in a relationship everyone seemed interested while single no one cared or gave him the time of day.
He lay in his bed hung over trying to figure out which path to take on the crossroads that made him decide what he wanted to do.