you don’t have to ask
it’s one of those things
we learn in school
you know, fun facts?
a scorpion stings,
the sky is blue,
and i love you
and i love you

the world is quiet whenever i cry
i could hear the birds, the leaves
falling softly to the ground
a sort of drunken lullaby

you don’t need to go there
you don’t need to open
every door that your mind
takes you to
you don’t need to do this
the labyrinthian musings
you don’t need to be
a snake eating its own tail
you don’t have to seek
paths no one else
has been back from
lay your head on my lap
let your worries fall off
your shoulders
i will braid you a story
that has a ribboned end
and you will be able to sleep
at last

i don’t understand
why doesn’t anyone want me?
i have a body ready to be carted
i have a soul ready to be juiced
my back is tired from the constant
push and pull, pull and push
this has been more than enough
i don’t understand it
i am a willing participant
to the exploitation
you don’t even need to ask
my mouth is already open
i am dying to be used
pulverize me into a husk
empty out my emotions
you will have no regrets with me
i can be a good machine

it’s a heavy feeling
wanting to die
i get wrapped up in it
caught in the rain with it
buried six feet under it
it’s a heavy feeling
when it is just me
and this
pounding, screeching
in my head:
how could there be
any space for my living
when already
i am holding hands
with my death?

i hope she soothes you
menthol cool in the summer heat
her words should be honeyed, syrupy
enough to make you sweet

i hope she tells you
her dreams, in between your fingers
is where the glittery future shines
intertwined, no doubt, with hers

i hope she holds you
gentle like a slow river bend
her hands must be soft and dainty
her voice must be heaven sent

i hope she takes you
through the rocks, the mountain road
where the shadows lie deep, winding
but with her, you get back home

i hope she loves you
enough to rebuild earth’s gravity
shakes its core, halts its orbit
a love that changes reality

i hope she forgives you
endlessly, for every mistake
you deserve to be adored
a love that melts to your taste

i claw myself out of it
the mud still stuck
on the hem of my jeans
there is dirt in my fingernails
and everything hurts
in a way it has never been before
i have been lovestruck before
but while he brought out my softness
you brought me down to my knees

i claw myself out of it
i was sinking in it alone
and i am not the kind of woman
who wants to be pinned down, forlorn pining
i am the kind of woman who leaves
so i haul my ******* *** out
arms shaking, begging for reprieve
breaking the surface feels like dying
before it feels like living again

i claw myself out of it
and there in the quiet morning
the sky an electric blue
bruised, bleeding, breathing
i realize -
she tore me up but
she taught me a lot about love
and that is more than enough