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I grew
me a melle tree
and fought violently
with it's leaves whilst it's roots
surreptitiously sated on my belief.
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"- M’ha boots -"


A blind gal stole m’ah boots today
jus' up n carried dem away ,,,,,, “musta bin blind !”
a’h was drunk a’h guess
a’h musta bin
was outta m’ah head
on moonshine gin,

A’h was Laid in ‘d gutter
a honkin down
when th’ gal crept up
a thief renown
n  had dem away on her dam toes
jus m’ah luck;
a’h do suppose, ,,,,“musta bin blind !,, musta bin !”

D’a boots were nearly
ten year old
jeeezus man d’ey were
covered in mould, !!  
m’ah toe poked out
d’a left hand boot
n made m’a feet stink
like - an old cheroot,

A’h  guess she was no sweet south belle,
but she sure was blind-
whid no sense ‘o smell.
I  hurple t'ward the
Wabbit Warren of pomposity -
a Reynard of levity -
lost
Lapsang Souchong
two sugars n me,
are owft on a charabang
jaunt to the sea,
with pickled egg Mary-
her three pekinese,
who are hairy quite scary
n chopped owft at the knees,
we are bringing darjeeling
and Oolong along
to twiddle their tootsies
and fire up their ****.
Could've been a cowboy but,
my **** didn't suit a horse.
could've been an astronaut but
I wandered off- off course.
could;ve been a fireman but,
my hose was waayy too short.
yeah,
I could've been a bank robber but,
****,
I would've got my cute **** caught.
Lumbago ought be a flower,
but it ain't.
Goldfish could have shoulders,
but they don't.
Death should have meaning
and my windows need cleaning
by the missus - but I know-
she just -- won't.
Bevelled slick edges,
and reeaal eeaasy slopes.
Chilli dip wedges
with fresh artichokes.
Wanton loose wenches
and swivel hipped ******
Daft dawgs and dentures
and granddad - who snores.
It’s hard to describe the way I feel,
When you walk into the room.
You make me want to get in the kitchen and cook,
So I can see you pat your stomach in satisfaction.
You make me want to bring you a cold beer while you lay on the couch,
So I hear a sigh of relaxation escape your lips.
You make me want to act foolishly,
So I can see you smile and hear you laugh.
You make me want to kiss you deeply,
So I can taste you and feel you pressed against me.
You make me want to drop to my knees,
So I can feel your fingers curled in my hair.
You make me want to be the soft pillow you rest against when tired.
You make me want to be the warm wet ***** you *** in every night.
You make me want to be the coffee in your cup every morning.
In short, when you walk into a room,
I get this intense, unshakeable desire,
To be the thing that makes you happy for the rest of your life.
i had a ride on pegasus he flew me oh so high
with his great big wings flying through the sky
he took me to a place that i have never been
a place so full of fantasy that i have never seen
lots of little unicorns flying all around
with lots of funny creatures walking on the ground
there were lots of flowers standing tall and proud
with a lots of colored birds singing out so loud
everything was peaceful so beautiful and free
the horse that they call pegasus showed all this to me
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