wafaa

wafaa Jan 2023

.

Will I ever stop ?
Too lost in paper ,in writing
In seeing the world differently
It's so big yet so small
That it suffocates me
It suffocates me how hopeless I'm
How sometimes I do think , I'm important to this world
Like I'm not just a glimpse of it
I will pass away
Today or tomorrow
My day will come
Naturally or suicide
It will come
How stupid of me ,thinking that things I wrote on paper will change the world
While I read them alone
Holding them so tight to my chest
Like my new beloved born child
But he's like me, crying to be bought up to this world against his will .
Screaming for survival .
this is who I'm
Unfazed , shocked and sad .

Writing

wafaa Jan 2023

Old lovers

Holding into past tenses
Like I'm some war solider
Sitting in the cemetery ,facing his lover's grave
Holding into their love letters .
But I'm no solider
And you are in no cemetery to be found
Still grieving your rushed goodbyes
I'm one haunted temporary home
Didn't know you would have lasted that long
Wasn't scary for you when you first arrived
Ringing my door bell
Waiting for your respond.
Time passed
I digged my own grave and yours
When you politely asked
Here alone , you left me
in no where to be found

#love

wafaa Jan 2023

AGING

I thought if I enter adulthood
I will be cured by some accidental miracle
But Im not
Mélancolie , Sadness hits me like a train
Hugged me so tight and told me how much she missed me
Dragged me by my hand to the place we used to share .
Place so bright yet so dark filled with self doubt and nothing but the urge to exit earth
She told me that the process of growing up can't be done without her.
How dare I? to left her behind in my teens when she used to dig me a grave with 16 candles on it.
How disrespectful of me to run from the cemetery.
She gets angry at me ,she told me how uncontrollable I became. How did I become so dream full and lost the strange taste of death on my lips .
Suffocate me ,
Drag me to the cemetery once again ? I thought , she had no other candles on her hands ?
How can I end up here in my 20s?

It's been along time

#sad

wafaa Jun 2018

verbs.

life hits us everyday, we are strong enough to fight
I go to school with a smily face
can't you see it's fake ?
cause my eyes are bleeding tears but you just focusing on my mouth
yes,I feel good enough when I cry
I feel full of problems
just with my brain
I have friends,good grades,house and a happy family
no one wants to see the dark side
the side that tell me to die
to **** my self so it will go away
like my soul and my body
the side that tell me I cant conjugure the verb 'Im good enough'
in an affirmative way
the side that tell me to try harder even I get an A
my body said to me "we are dying stop hurting us "
but my brain lied to me and say "try more because we want u to be dead"
so in my sweet 16 I'm in the cemetery under a grave with my name
plus a PS
"This the girl who can't conjugure the verb I want to be okey"

this is my first poetry in the website enjoy it :)

#life #sad #friends

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