restless
no sleep for the torn
keep the fire burning
by tearing up the floorboards
effectively destroying the house
the temple you've learned to hate
is it too late to love myself
or could i get another take
a second chance to be grateful for
what hasn't happened
or am i the type of broken that can't be fixed
defined by somebody else's actions

dear god
i hope the **** not

i bet you wouldn't like it

impeding my peace
embedded in my dreams
inserting yourself in to
all of my most secret fantasies
waking up unwillingly
rolling over back to sleep
right back to where we
left off so casually

in the dreamscape it's so nice
but it's so toxic in real life

satan was his favorite angel
and he still let him fall
then what's the hope for the rest of us
a dead line receiving a desperate call

i'm not graceful
or gentle or timid or light
i'm angry and clumsy
and confused and can't decide
but i thought i chose you
but all i did was pretend
can't build a relationship with someone
who won't even try to be your friend

waiting
on a text on the word
for anything at all
pacing
in my mind and in my room
getting nowhere at all

it's like you want me
but there's something wrong
or you hate me
but i turn you on
i can't tell
and either *****
it's night like these
i wish we never ******

debating
if i should say something
or pretend this is fine
praying
that you aren't gonna hurt me
and that you'll make up your mind

because it's like you want me
but i'm not enough to make you happy
or you hate me
but it's too easy to just pass me
i can't tell
but i hate that this is how things are
it's nights like this
i wish i didn't have a heart

breaking
bleeding
crying
you
taking
leaving
lying
you

jus­t want this feeling to go away
that i'm nothing and the shame
or that i was just some conquest to claim
but that's the only way
i can make it make sense in my brain
and i wanted you anyway
how sad is that
couldn't really say