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just another thought
rinse repeat sort of night
the first of many
but not of it's kind
trickle down flood
a butterflies wings
dominoes crash
stuck out at stormy sea
with no lifeline
or recovery effort
i liked it better
when we slipped together
but it's hard to know
what we even want
shooting for stars
with bb guns
missin the mark
the price of a joyride
the heart of a boy i
will never truly know
seemed like a cool guy
now i feel used dry
ending on a flat note
i made the decision
said i was okay with it
even though i was reluctant to even go
ofcourse he's indifferent
should've trust my intuition
but i just didn't wanna spend the night alone
lost in thought
it is what it is
forcing pieces
that would never fit
not even invested
just hating that i
am not enough
to be a waste of time
pathetic
that this is where i've arrived
it's what i get for driving
with no destination in mind
cool summer night
no fourth of july
but in your eyes
i see fireworks
laid up by your side
under a very empty sky
guess it was my time
to learn how a liar works

ever explosive
swear you'll control it
and in the moment
i believe it
and of course you blow it
heart rebroken
trust eroded
guilt deep-seated
history repeated
you say i love you
and i think you mean it

flick of a match
fire licks the fuse
eating away whats left of it
about to get a special view

beautiful disaster
waiting to occur
waiting for the show
still trusting in your word

staring right at the light
naive to how this works
you get to have your fun
i get left hurt

a knocked over rocket
destroying everything in it's path
you did this on purpose
and you'll never take it back
tsk
just the way i said
down to the self deletion
you lost yourself
trying to please them
stuck in limbo
trying to decide
if being liked
is worth dying inside
do what you do
you'll have to live
with the decisions
can't resist the compulsions
release those words into the environment
without consideration
of the situation
of their implications
testing my patience

it was 'nice' to hear my voice for a couple seconds
still sending mixed signals
said it was just as gentle
so sentimental
driving me mental

i think you mean what you say
but it doesn't even matter
can't just bust in after
you left me shattered
pieces too scattered

to even bother picking myself up
had to start fresh
which was really just a mess
youre so ridiculously blessed
you don't know what it's like being second best
baby boy
wasn't his fault
one day the pain
had to stop
started with a fist
ended with a knot
leaving us behind
in his absence perpetually lost
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