what you could've had
never left your mind
tethered to me now
but dream of the other life
you wish you could've had
i never meant to hold you back
she is all you ever wanted
and i'm all you'll ever have

no one has to know
because it's all inside my head
you'll never look to me
or wake up in my bed
i know all that waits for me
is solitude and dread
i know if i say anything
it'll be followed by regret
even then
nonetheless
you fill my thoughts
like mercury and lead
the weight of you
comes to a rest
and settles in my heart
just to be trapped inside my chest

you take a sledgehammer
to my fragile reality
and shatter it
so you can feel a bit better

you know what i'm going through
but you think you know me better
than i do
and you put your feelings on me

now i'm responsible
for both of our happiness
knowing very well
it'll be a massive disappointment down the road

you push until i beg you to stop
do not enter signs but you still knock
i say i'm uncomfortable but you tell me i'm not
you only hear what you want
you only help yourself
you ignore anything that doesn't fit your reality
and you expect me to be your ideal

you truly think anything is possible
mental gymnastics
going through hoops
to get nowhere really fast