flood of emotion
causing commotion
there is valid concern
to question my devotion
do i mean what i say
or am i high on the pain
of knowing that you will
never love me the same
maybe it's both
i'll never know
i dream of reconciliation
but ultimately won't
get what i want since
i can't even convince
myself to come to terms
or find acceptable reasons to make amends
i want it with all my heart
but the situation's a little too charged
just wanted to feel something
and now things have been taken too far
i know i've spent too much time dreaming
too far gone to trust my own feelings
in the beginning maybe there was something
but now i'm just creating my own endings

drunk on a doorstep
how'd i end up here
maybe i shouldn'tve acknowledged
my deepest fears
maybe i shouldn't have said anything
before i was sure how i felt
but i was freaking out
and i needed somebody to tell
and i needed to let it out
and get it off my chest
one thing led to another
you already know the rest
i don't even know i'm saying sorry for
you're the one who made me a joke
you get laughed at once
and suddenly i'm the one being cold
i understand why you don't like it
but frankly i didn't either
i'd say let's call it even
but i can tell by your demeanor
you dont want to hear a word from me
so i'm stuck here confused
if you don't want me to apologize
what else am i supposed to do
because we can't avoid each other forever
we share too much to succeed at that
at the very least i wanna address the issue
even if i can't take it back
so we're not walking around the problem
letting it become bigger than us
to the point it's so ******* awkward
being in your vicinity *****
maybe im being hopeful
but i am dying to work this out
**** can we just be cool
cause you're always gonna be around

swinging feet
ledge of a bridge
but what if
i accidentally slip
reality suddenly
violently persistent
would you
wanna come with
or would you
just sit
at the top
of the cliff
while the rocks
shred me to bits
or could you not bear
to watch it
do you want to be
my friend

i know intentions rarely matter
after all is said and done
but i feel like if i could just explain myself
and you hear me out just this once
i promise i wouldn't hurt you again
because that was never what i meant to do
you should be embarrassed for me
yet you think i'm embarrassed of you
i put myself out there and it didn't work out
life goes on another day
you shouldn't feel ashamed
for things i chose to say
and the people i chose to say them to
it was never supposed to be an attack
i just overshared in the moment
and now it's made its way back
i hope you won't hate me
but i'd understand why if you did
there's no excuses and i don't wanna make this worse
when i bet you already think i am a *****