waited for you to claim me
but you never made that advance
come to learn i was never
part of any plans
just a distraction for the meantime
you say i'll have to understand
an opportunity i never had
can not slip out of my hands

first full moon of the year
not enough light to see clear
but there's not much of need
to see beyond the trees
when you know nothing good lies beyond them

in my sanctuary of leaves
no one searches for me
i'd be upset but they never cared
the peace of being absolutely nowhere
caring for lost friends without a need to stalk them

i guess what i really meant to say
wouldn't even matter anyway
i take up space in the doorway
knowing i got nothing to useful to say

in the end there's not much i can do
but acknowledge the fact i still love you
in whatever i mean when i use
that word and if it means what i want it to

i know i'm the one who made things this way
still confused about it anyway
you were more than willing to stay
but i didn't and don't see anything worth trying to save

i think i just miss not being alone
but thats not a good enough reason to go
and keep leading you on when i very well know
i've got more than enough issues for us both

the presence of a question
doesn't guarantee an answer is out there
they say follow your heart
but i'm so unsure and scared
should i already know what i'm doing
am i just unprepared
i don't know if there are reasons to live
or if i even care
it's just a lot constantly
one thing or another and i feel it when
i'm consistently undervalued
or pushed to the brim
i know ive got patience
but i find it harder and harder to reign in
i know the person i want to be
but i can't even manage to be my own friend

the first thing i forgot was your face
then your voice
and then you
it was for the best so its okay
but i struggle
with what to do
when your laugh plays for my ears again
and i feel
drawn back
too much as happened
couldn't undo the damage
even if we both wanted that
but your happier without me
even if you take your blame
and say nice things
i know that you're happy
that you got away
from me