youcancallmesierra

youcancallmesierra Apr 2021

the presence of a question
doesn't guarantee an answer is out there
they say follow your heart
but i'm so unsure and scared
should i already know what i'm doing
am i just unprepared
i don't know if there are reasons to live
or if i even care
it's just a lot constantly
one thing or another and i feel it when
i'm consistently undervalued
or pushed to the brim
i know ive got patience
but i find it harder and harder to reign in
i know the person i want to be
but i can't even manage to be my own friend

youcancallmesierra Apr 2021

know the truth

the first thing i forgot was your face
then your voice
and then you
it was for the best so its okay
but i struggle
with what to do
when your laugh plays for my ears again
and i feel
drawn back
too much as happened
couldn't undo the damage
even if we both wanted that
but your happier without me
even if you take your blame
and say nice things
i know that you're happy
that you got away
from me

youcancallmesierra Apr 2021

but i'm here

push me down the stairs
tell everyone i tripped
putting your bag in my chair
so i have nowhere to sit
question for me
but you answer it
actively getting between
me and my friends

sensed competition
but i don't know why
is it something i have
or some idiot guy
going out of your way
to complicate my life
don't know what i did
to get on your bad side

youcancallmesierra Apr 2021

slow boil

you ruined midnight for me
turning from the clock
i know i should be asleep
but i'm so painfully not
remembering your presence
having second thoughts
before i couldn't deal
now i just turn my mind off
it's easier to be numb
to the loss than to face it
even in ruins
our bond is still sacred
i won't let the outcome overshadow
the fact we almost did make it
but having any hope
would be awfully mistaken

youcancallmesierra Apr 2021

lluna

lullabies
not made to soothe
instead they leave you
staring into the moon
searching for answers
you'll never find
endless thoughts
match a restless mind

everynight
i search for sleep
i give up
and land in dreams
some might say
theyre the same
i just want peace
for ***** sake

quiet is all i pray for
the music takes it's toll
the images that i see
are branded to my soul
i just wish i knew what to do
but its hard to know what's right
being guided by the moon
just isn't enough light

youcancallmesierra Apr 2021

ghosts float

mirrors facing mirrors
endless reflections
melt into the water
facing imperfections
touching every scar
to make sure it's still there
sometimes i forget to exist
only remember when they stare
when the questions they ask
make me realize the room i'm in
notice the inconsistencies
and now i've ruined it
there's no more roof
i'm above the floor
i'm trying to remember
what's worth staying for
fading away
evaporated blood
stained
i know at least i've felt love
maybe not loved
but when it has to be the way it is
that'll have to be enough

youcancallmesierra Apr 2021

fresh start

just wanna be happy
why is that so bad
i can't care anymore and i am sorry
if that makes you sad
always complaining about something
i tried to have your back
but the negativity gets old
real ******* fast

all i need is a reason
but you can't give me that
because you know i'm right for this
even if it makes you mad
i tried to be there for you
now we're just on different paths
so many things i want to have
can't miss something i never had