can't be who you want
though i wanna see you happy
convinced the answer to all your problems
is to have me
but you can't just have a person
i'm not a means to an end
i'm not a fool to mold
or rule to bend
can't cut me to perfection
to fit your narrative
think i don't notice your affections
but i'm awfully aware of them
and i'm trying to be respectful
though you don't think as much of me
benefit of the doubt
even if you don't deserve such niceties
i wont let you make me become hard
but you'd be dead wrong to think i'm soft
you tear into me for figuring out who i am
when at least i know what i am not
it's in my nature to be supportive
but i can no longer offer my services
i'm tired of being pulled apart
so you can figure out what your purpose is

have to remind myself my i'm not the things you call me
not weak for being exhausted
allowed to be hurt
allowed to feel
don't need to fight to just exist
but with you
i do
it's always something
i try to see your humanity
but i stopped loving you long ago
all i feel is cold now
there are things i hate you for
that i can not forgive
but i'm good at ignoring my feelings
thats the only way i have survived
i hate that its like this
but it is
i don't think we'll ever know each other
because you will never compromise
and i won't worship you
i'll respect you
but you won't respect me
and its that simple unfortunately
i hate it
i hate you
for hating me
you say you don't
but you despise me for not being complicit
for not being just like you
i'm sorry i guess
but not really
you're willing to hurt me to prove a point
and thats where you lose me
you're willing to hurt someone to be right
and i can't get behind that
i'm not sure anymore
just tired
and constantly belittled
and picked at
and pushed down
and held back
and blamed
for things i didn't do
and out of my control
cast as the object of your rage
the bane of your existence
everything you hate
my generation
and opposing beliefs
you just hate me
and won't admit it and it's tiring
if i pulled the same ****
you would ****** me in cold blood
and i know it
because you can't control your temper
how ironic
you always say i'm acting out
and being irrational
when you push me to my limit
but you're the one who can't handle reality
nothing will ever make you happy
so you make everyone else miserable
hope you're happy with that

haven't gave in in a while
but i'm too weak to keep being strong at the moment
i know i'm not weak for showing emotion
but the second i do there's the notion
that i'm unstable for being tired
or that because i'm tired you can't be tired
i never said that but what i say doesn't matter
i agree to disagree and i'm wrong and a habitual liar
however you want it at this point honestly
nothing but submission will appease you
and that's something i just won't do
so you force me to stay and try to argue
over things sane people don't argue about
you claim disrespect when i just won't bow down
i don't call you stupid for your beliefs
but you constantly hound
me for existing because in my indifference i spite you
which i will never understand to be frank
i don't try to change people because it's not my job
i just wanna make the world a better place
in the ways that i can and i don't know how that is yet
you judge me for not having all the answers
just because you can ask opposing questions and create doubt
doesn't mean you win or you're right it just means you can pander
i could make exceptions all day
and push hypotheticals to the limit
but i'm just tired and wanna go to bed
but unless i change my mind you refuse to end it

empty highway
crowded mind
needed some space
went for a drive
music loud
on a quiet night
it's just how it is
getting used to life

but at what point do i acknowledge
how crazy things have gotten
how far do i let my thoughts roam
before i have to stop them
i wanna do the right thing
but there's not many options

broken white lines
boundaries i can cross
walls i couldn't climb
cliffs i fell off
know i'm going too fast
but it's too late to stop
running out of gas
in the middle of a thought

what's stopping me from crashing into
the next light pole i see
the universe already proved
no one cares what happens to me
if there's no redemption
what the point in suffering

no traffic this late
good to feel alone
i only feel comfortable crying
on my own
it's getting harder and harder
to focus on the road
i feel more in control
the faster i go

which seems kind of backwards
but it makes enough sense
i don't think i've felt okay
since i was a kid
but i'll pretend it's okay
so i don't lose my wits

brake seems to be broken
but i couldn't care less
always know i was gonna
end in a wreck
nobody is gonna
clean up my mess
honestly it feels like
it's all for the best

and i know it's wrong to think that way
but i'm tired of fighting the tide
tired of denying the way
i feel deep inside
i'm sorry but this is the truth
i tried to hide

wheel starts slipping
struggling to care
losing my grip
high beams glare
into the void of night
life isn't fair
no destination
i'll let them wonder where

crazy how it is
know it's none of my business
but i can't believe this ****
about speechless
like how did we end up here
too much coincidence
but it is what is
i'll try to let you finish the sentence
knowing **** well
no excuse will make sense
gotta let you finish
but it's senseless