let's sit across from each other
lay down our weapons and shields consisting of words and see what the silence makes of us
see what truths surface
maybe we'll stifle a laugh at first-
a natural awkward reaction to the taboo act of staring at someone without reason or explanation
to look directly into someones eyes to (if nothing else) reassure them of  their own existence
to remind them that they are seen
and so pass the first thirty seconds
two hundred and ten more beautiful horrible seconds that unfold themselves between us
and once they past we are again allowed access to the gift that is expression
to communicate, talk, listen, laugh, cry, ask, answer

but what if when the silence ended
when the honesty presented itself?
when we were stripped bare; made simple?
what if after all the wordlessness and contemplation there was nothing left to say?

You exude such a brilliant light.
I want to bask in your glow because
you've illuminated my soul and made me so beautiful.
Flowers grow from my skin
where you kiss me;
my name becomes poetry
when you whisper it into my mouth.
On those days that leave me feeling deflated,
I know that my lungs will soon swell
when I inhale all that is your intoxicating magic.
I'm running to the edge of what I know
and I am exhilarated because
I can feel my feet hit the ground
with every beat of your heart.

I wake up to the glow of sun shining through curtains and blinds
I stretch my body
stretch my mind
I'm preparing for the day ahead
waiting for it all to start as I lay in bed
I find my muscles sore
the good kind of sore you get when you're not bored
when your mind is stimulated
and your heart has been elated
and your back hurts from rowing
your legs from running, you arms from throwing
the restlessness of spirit that wakes within me in the glow
mind, body, spirit; I'm recharged, ready to go

to fill a hole
fix what's broken
say what needs to be said
and leave unnecessary explanations unspoken
we're seeking the same thing
to simplify our lives
wrap up in what we used to be
find it fabricated in lies
you want my insight
but I gave all of me to all of you a long time ago
and while you're missing me
I'm letting you go
let's not complicate this further than need be
let's keep it simple and let it leave
on terms its own
that we can't conceive
you should have had some foresight
you should've known I couldn't always wait
I'm not one of your fish
I'm not going for the bait
It suddenly feels like it's been so long
since I felt lied to
since I felt wronged
I don't miss you like I once did
and it gets a lot easier with most of the passing time
and I harbor less resentment for you now
looking forward to having you in my life again down the line

I've done things on my own
gotten to relearn pieces of me regrown
I'm still making up for the way things were
finding the girl I was when I was her
boy, do you miss me yet?
I'm making myself proud
I've found my voice, I'm getting loud
And I'm not quite there but I'm en route
haven't yet attained it but I'm in hot pursuit
boy, do you miss me yet?
and of all the pieces of you that fell away
the music we shared just seems to stay
it stays and stays, won't go away
it won't diminish, it won't decay
boy, do you miss me yet?
And just like I used to listen to you singing in your car
I can hear you forgetting me, tires kissing tar
it's been two solid years and I need to know
boy, will you ever let me go?

I'm gonna trace it down on wooden end tables
on tiled floors
on carpet runners and floorboards
on asphalt, cement, brick walls

I'm gonna trace the cast shadows on my good days
when a moment seems too good to be true-too fleeting
I'm gonna walk around getting it all down just the way it was

the grand shadows of the trees lining the street to my house when I'm coming back from long boarding
the delicate shadow of the glass vase on the table at the cafe when you smilingly whisper to me the secrets you're composed of

I'm gonna outline the shadows of moments with white chalk
like they did in the movies when someone died
because these moments are coming and going too

and memories aren't enough for me anymore
I need solid proof it was all real
shadows of moments just the way they were

Letting you go is made easier in knowing you're not the same person I let in

I can feel my heart rate slowing
my thoughts caught between going a million miles a minute and lounging in the tempered water of those smarter than me
I am simultaneously comforted and overstimulated by this modern artist who attempts to explain himself in a media foreign to him: words
His reality exists in color fields and weathered linen
In re-stretched canvas and the gentle pull of paint layering itself before him in a matter so beautiful that he's afraid to **** it-ignoring the fact that he's bringing it into existence
To see his work and grasp a whisp of what it is he is trying to convey
This is my drug of choice
To be drunk on the sobering reality that we equally overthink the merging of memories and hapinstances and movement; light and shadow, tints tones and hues, a balance between respect for what the art is trying to do and trying all the while to control it in a manner that it may capitalize on its investment in itself-on our investment
of time, of thought, of failures its taken to get here, of learning
Why would I go searching for something to stimulate my mind when it's nearly 3AM and I can't get it to stop?  Nor do I desire to make it stop
May I be strung out on this gift all the days of my life