i thought the days will start to get warmer
despite the cold breeze and the cold frozen sugar
melting in the warmth of our tongues-

they just got colder as soon as we're done

: i hope to be seen even when i'm not of use to anyone; more than when i am of use to them

a cold breeze swept through the empty streets,
stars flickered through the dark pigment of the night;
quiet whispers were heard from the neighboring trees,
the moon stood still and glistened with all its light.


tonight the moon looks rather awfully bright,
as if the weight of its problems is lifted away;
wearing a bright smile after a hard-fought fight,
and another sleepless night, it chose to stay.


with a closer inspection, you would start to see,
behind the moon's bright facade of light;
stars fell from the sky towards the sea,
you'd tell yourself; the moon cried that night.

you know it really does get sad and lonely
waiting for someone without certainty

but at the end of a long day
as long as i know that everything
and anything i do is all for you

i'd let myself be swallowed by the loneliness
because in the end, it will all be worth it

and when everything else turns out fine
you'll grab me by the hand
and pull me right out

we were in cross fire
of words unsaid
words we kept
from one another
words we'd just slept
through the night

we were in cross fire
but we only hurt
for each word unspoken
each chance not taken
we just stopped trying
then we'd both lose sight

because we were in the cross fire
of keeping words within us
we forgot we were allies
who should protect
and save each other
in the end, we'd both
just lose the fight

tears speak multitudes of words i wish i had the courage to say

or maybe these tears speak a multitude of words i wanted to say, yet i don't want to bother you by constantly telling you that i miss you

you were the certain uncertainty my heart needed-- to know that it was living

loving you was the most certain uncertainty it did-- that made it feel alive

i keep asking,
when will i ever see you?

perhaps i should ask first if,
you'd like to see me too?

their love was a burning matchstick
they tried to hold on to
the sight of the fiery inferno
engulfing the wood was a beauty
both of them saw for the first time

when the flame started to get closer
closer to getting their fingers burnt
one of them wanted to let go;
while the other? i'm afraid, no

he was too curious, you see
he wanted to know what the flame felt like
wanted to feel what burning love was

but he was also too selfish to see that,
while he may be ready to feel
the burning sensation at his fingertips;
she was afraid of getting hers blazed

because, she too, was curious;
too curious, that she forgot
why she even held on to the matchstick
as they ignited the flame;
when she was still holding on to flashlights
that made her feel safe
guiding her through the darkness of life
without the fear of getting burned by the light

as for him?
he tried hold on to the matchstick
as long as he could take the flame
waiting for the time
she would hold the match once more

or maybe, someone else
who was not afraid to get burned

You were there for me, when I was alone,
with my thoughts that I can't bear to own.
When no one was there to listen to my words,
but still you gave me uneasiness, how absurd?

But you do know that you were always my biggest enemy,
when we're together others can feel you, more so- me.
Even if I do nothing, you're just as scary
as falling in darkness, falling endlessly.

Though you never left my side, even for a brief moment;
you never gave me air to breathe; i guess you never will.
And even then, I used to ask myself one question,
'Why am I still not used to your possession?'

Your obsession over me, made it harder for you to leave
or was it my obsession over you, that made you stay?
That even though I hated you, I hated the feelings you weave;
you loved hurting me, you loved seeing me break away.

Now that I have lost you, and I have found her
I want to say thank you for the times that you were there,
But now that she is the one, who holds my heart tightly
Doubt, I know you loved me, but it's now her- who I love dearly.

i saw you once again today
after all the times i spent away from home

i saw your face once again today
after all the times i stared at it through my phone

i saw your eyes once again today
after all the times i looked at mine alone

i went out to spend time with you today
and it felt like going back home

sitting in silence
behind the darkness of the night

how long has it been since we talked?
4? 5? 6 days? i don't know anymore
because any amount of time spent
not talking to you feels like
an eternity of loneliness

sitting in silence
behind the darkness of the night

how long has it been?
since i last got a message from you?
4? 5? 6 da--

beep

wait
i know that sound
could it possibly be?

sitting in silence
behind the darkness of the night

i heard a familiar sound
that makes my heart pound
like how a child receives his first toy
filled with excitement and joy

beep

there it is again
another one perhaps?
should i take a look and see
if it's you, then maybe
maybe it is--

sitting in silence
behind the darkness of the night

no, it wasn't your message
that set my phone off

and so i'm still here

sitting in silence
behind the darkness of the night
waiting for your message
that would play music
and turn on the light

i like to believe that i rarely think of you
but my dreams always prove me otherwise

whenever i try to sleep past midnight
i always get a call that would keep me up

it's from sadness

asking if i am okay
i'll tell how it went- the rest of my day
and sadness would listen,
sadness would stay

but i usually keep our conversation short
not any more than an hour or past two,
because if it kept going,
and the more time passes by
the more time for regret to arrive
and would want to talk to me too

i don't want to love anyone else anymore, but you

remember when you said
"i may not promise you anything, but i want you to believe"?

because i do.

and right now,
i may not be promising, but i want you to believe.

how do you walk away from something that's been a part of you for so long?

or do you even walk away at all?