I've started a habit, I ignore the best of advice.
I see the gold but I can't reach out and grab it.
My chances lost, thrown away, life doesn't suffice anymore.
Just shouting at the god that has ****** me!!
**** it!! He strikes me, smites me, I can't fight back and he bites me.
Self belief burned and buried, self esteem shot down and slowly drowned.


The power I crave is unteachable, untouchable, unreachable and unbearable.
I have such foolish ambitions and desires.
Never to have greatness and my helpless soul is on fire.
Duck, drop and roll, send me to the poles to freeze, please!!
Reduced to begging, I'm a disgrace, you better take that ugly grin off your face.
I'll continue to flow It like a poet so that you feel my self loathing.


I turn on the TV and look at the news, It's not good apparently.
The whole world's becoming a zoo, It's so true.
And guess what! The sky's not even blue, It's red!!
No wait; thats just the pain in my head, pain from exaustion, or maybe just hunger.
Life's a mess.
I need to get this crippling weight off my chest, can you help me?


Force the world off my chest, then I'll carry it on my shoulders.
Gonna live like this until my fragmenting fragments are broken.

you said
the sky would never reach you
the pressure seems to increases
no goodbyes and no good reasons
just a time to pick up pieces
no good time to face the music
once we were not future seekers
the lightening serves to defuse
the energy defeats
the sky would never reach you
you said

The past is catching up to me.
I'm living in my head again.
I'm trying to forget it
but it's all you left me with.

I'm trying to move on from you
I'm trying to be happy too
but its so hard to escape the truth
Because it's all you left me with.

I wonder how your doing still
I try to fight it with all my will
But I can't forget the happy times
Because it's all you left me with.

I seem to be out of my mind
for loving all the painful times
but it's easy to remember you
Because it's all you left me with.

My language vanishes
Now only my breath and the sun

The street signs are blank
to celebrate the death of words
The end of poems

The black birds swoop through
clock tower faces
My eyes chase the steam
out of stained glass

I dream of the death of words
Of a sweet reckoning
A silence like music

I know the secrets you keep locked inside.
The tears, the pain, all the lies.
And when I think you’ll let me in.
I realize you’re not alive.

Of all the things I thought were true.
I thought I could be with you.
Now I see the truth,
You’re not alive.

You’ve died so much inside.
You think you have to hide.
And when I think you’ll let me in.
I realize you’re not alive.

You’re died inside.
I’ve tried to find what you hide inside.
Full of lies.
But you’re not alive.

What is it with this fatal attraction
For my soul that’s what it is
I have tried hard to ignore it
And not always give in

Erase you from my heart and mind
To be free from you at last
But every time you’re near
I simply have no chance

What is it about you
Keeps me wanting more
Your eyes mesmerize me
And pull me into your world

Your body makes my pulse race
I undress you with my eyes
I wish it were just physical
I’d have walked away by now

I love the way your mind works
Even if I don’t always understand
You make me think about things
That I never have before

The way you make me smile
And the way you make me laugh
Is just another of your facets
That keeps me coming back

I love the way you accept me
Like it’s ok to be myself
I let my guard down around you
And I take off my many masks

You seem to understand me
Even with all my many quirks
You even seem to tolerate me
When I’m acting like a *****

There’s so much more about you
That I just can’t find the words
To tell all the reasons
That you're driving me  berserk

That’s why I keep staring at you
With such passion in my eyes
You're my fatal attraction
And that I can’t deny.

Often I wonder if you even know my name.

Or am I just someone you bring in from the rain?

Sometimes I speak and you don’t hear me.

And it breaks my heart wondering if it’s worth having a voice.

Am I given a choice?

To choose to live without you,

Or live a fake life.

The choice is clear but harder than you think.

I’ve lived so long with you.

That our end can’t possibly be here.

How could you be so blind to me?

How could you not realize that I was bleeding?

How could you be so cold?

How could you not know?

That I love you.

How can you blame me for being who I am?

To try to strip me of all I am.