A systematic canopy
All the thoughts you've had of me
Immune to tragedy?
Then sit down and let me remind you.
Words of a worthless fate
All this sadness built up with hate
All broken, ruminate
This is a world that I'll never thrive in.

The things that you said, and the things that I heard
The difference underlined
Now tell me how to get out of here
Endless deficiency, built right into me
Do you think that I like this?
Insight the curse of the soul I bare.

Turning to dope to cope
Salvation's tied in a rope
A hopeless, bitter *****
Oh please God don't let me go down there.
Redemption shall not be mine
Unnoticed passing, Fine!
You were born to toe the line
And my fingers can touch your horizon.

I have won this game.
oh, Have I won this game.

You threw hell at me, with full force.

I may have stumbled, but I am still standing.

And everyday, when I realize that I could have failed.

I think of you, how I left you there, only a bad memory.
I think of my Complete Victory.
And
How
I
Beat
You.

I never knew what I could be
I stayed safe inside of me

I had not thought
I had no mind
I had no goal that I could find

There must be more to life than this
I'd sell my soul for just one kiss

You have all I will ever need
How can you stand and watch me bleed?

I hear your sobs from the bathroom
And I hope it’s not what I think
Pray I misunderstood
Hope and hope so deep

We open the door
And there you lie
Lost in some fog
Then I realize
From the look in your eyes
And the colors I glimpse
It’s all over the tiles
And it covers the sink

The scene freezes in silence
Images flashing slow
We try to grasp in an instant
How it began to flow
Searching for the tool you used
That would lead to the breach
Searching for the weapon you chose
To finally... sleep

And I wonder...

“Is this it?”

“Is this the day
Our life will collapse?”

“Is today the day that
All my fears come true?”



Will there be no other laugh
In our lives forever stained
Will there be no innocence
Left from what was shed
Is this the date cross-marked
In our memories forever
Is this the day so black
Where our dreams shatter?



As I hear the sirens fade
I’m left in silence, petrified
In shock staring at my hands
Voiceless and horrified

So unbearable
That it dissociates me
So unshakable
That it suffocates me

Breathing the thick air
Painfully into my lungs
As I wash blood off my hands
And clean the bathtub



There were no tears that night
Just a blinding pain
As sharp as the knife
You pressed to your veins

Oh mother…

What have you
Done?

You have left me
Forever
Terrified
For things
To come

Couldn’t you spare us
I was just a child
In this bathroom who would comfort
The little girl I was?
Couldn’t you handle
The anger and the tears
Preserve your children
From their worst fears?

You’ve shattered our lives
From your own weakness
And filled our eyes
With... endless darkness
Broken our hopes
For any peaceful day
An anguish for tomorrows
That will never melt away

I Have Been Fighting This Battle

My opponent is *5 times my size,
and 50 times my strength.

And as the fight goes on,
it begins to grow.
And I begin to shrink.

So before long it is towering over me.

STOMPING OUT all the fight I have left.


In this game the hero looses.

But the Devil goes down with me,
because without the fight,
or the victim.

*The Devil has no peace.