Maybe I just wanna sabotage this
While I wait for you to do it
Western style
Locked and loaded
Who's gonna draw first
**** a white flag
No truth in our truces
Well this time,
You won't catch me with my guard down

When the layers peel off,
I hope you don't love yourself for the reasons they love you
When the dollars flutter and the spotlight blinds
I hope you know your worth is not physical
Even when the money is
This isn't the fulfillment you need
When you don't rest easy at night
I hope you remember you should be loved for more
You are loved for more
Your mother..
Please,
I hope you tell your mother you love her
I hope you tell her she's done nothing wrong
She's hurt
And maybe we all feel that
Because this world holds more for you
I hope you know opportunity isn't hiding from you
I hope you seek it out
I hope you remember that easy way is not always the best way
The things we are capable of failing at
Reap the most self esteem when we succeed
I hope you find what makes you happy
What makes you full
And I hope you never look back

Use this to better yourself. Try as ******* yourself as you did on the relationship. You are the most important person. You are capable of everything you want to do. Don't give up on yourself too. I love you. I love you. I will learn to love you. There is time for sadness. That is okay. Turn it into creation. You won't always be happy but you will always be okay. Fill the holes in your heart from loving him with new reasons to love yourself. Go hiking alone. Climb a tree and read a book. Write more. ******* it, don't waste that talent. Practice gratitude. Practice mindfulness. Believe. In the future. In the power of your mind. In your ability to overcome. You will be reborn in strength.

Love,
Your forever companion

Materialism took all the empty hands
But it won't complete a thing

Light candles in abandoned houses
Like souls
The darkest ones
Breathe memories
Some taste like an ocean breeze
Feel familiar
Some screech like burnt rubber
So familiar
I am here
I am far

This is stupid
and stereotypical,
I know.

Every poet asks themselves,
"Am I really a poet?"

Every poet reflects on
their surroundings, their life,
their thoughts.

Every poet has been sad
more than once
in a day.

We're all emotional,
we're all craving release,
an outlet to drain away
the sorrows,
to give our feelings
a physical form.

But in this poem,
I want you to know something:

it's okay to not be okay,
it's okay to feel like ****,
it's okay to give up.

It's okay to give yourself to pain,
let go of your surroundings and
shrink into yourself.
It's okay to want to die.

Do you know why?

Once you understand this
and acknowledge it,
you are free to change.

You are free to pursue whatever
happiness you desire,
to give yourself to bliss
rather than to guilt.

It's okay to want things,
it's okay to feel undeserving
when you do.

It shows you're not stuck
in one place,
intentionally or not.

You are human,
forever changing and
evolving.

You are still young and growing.
So make your mistakes while you
still feel the need.

My dear,
you are not perfect.
You will never be perfect,
and that's okay.

Because if you were perfect,
it wouldn't be you.

You've been hiding out inside of me for six weeks now
Playing dormant
While I played dumb
Bean sized bundle
Cells,
I tell myself
Cells
I tell my cells
I'm sorry
I don't know
If you would be benign
Or cancerous
To the me that does exist
Call it selfish
(At 19 years, I'm no philanthropist)
I know
Bean cell bundle
You are a part of me
But
Now it seems
Loss lurks at either exit
For if you stay
A part of me goes
The young heart that yearned for the harbors of far shores
You would possess it instead
The mind
Imagining futures brimmed with possibility
Unstoppability
Would then fumble with responsibility
(There are days I slide alongside time
Up hours past the alarm
Don't feed myself till supper
Bean bundle
I could offer you existence
But I can't say it would be any good)
What if I offered your existence up?
Stats say 8 years would go along before someone would call you their own
8 years
Old enough
To wonder what could've been
And why
Your life looked nothing like the tv sitcom smiles
Feeling a heaviness in your heart
They say
If you see a suffering animal you have to put it out of its misery
Well you haven't had the chance to suffer yet
For the quarter inch of you cannot feel pain
Preemptive maybe presumptive
Fate may have fondled you with joy
But
The world is not often this kind
And
Though a part of me will go with you
Crying,
Bleeding
A corner of my heart away
I'll do my time
wondering,
what could've been,
And why
But
I can't bring you into this world
If I know
It may serve you only strain
Bean sized bundle
Of cells
My cells
Whatever part of me you may have come to be,
I choose me
I'm sorry