To feel close to you I now have to read your beautiful words
Then I imagine you saying them to me in a voice I once heard

I then wrap my arms around the air of emptiness
and try to remember our last kiss

You were all that I ever could or did want
Now lost to you my darkened eyes will forever haunt

You still are the music that plays ongoing in my heart
You awoken in me a melody even before my love for you did start

I relive all the memories of us together all the time
I know I will never see you again but I still revisit you in my mind

Will I ever get my fill of you or will you remain my lethal dose
I guess its plain to see I will be forever chasing your ghost

For the big occasion
She's lost a pound or two
Last minute jitters playing out
Something borrowed, something blue

Posies for the bridesmaids
Flower in her hair
The thought of all those people
Gets her feeling scared

Roller waiting, protocol demands
Be ten minutes late
Line up for some memories
By the old lych gate

Holding back tears of joy
She glides the aisle in a daze
Nervous smiles exchanged
As the ***** plays

A moment's pause, new shoe shuffle
Children struggle to behave
Baby words da da da
Echo down the nave

No impediments are known
As far as we can see
No one shouts out from behind
Yeah, it should have been me!

In the nearby meadow
The big marquee awaits
Congregation filters back
Through the old lych gate

The groom pays sincerest thanks
To everyone he should
The best man airs embarrassments
As we knew he would

The band strikes up, as they dance
The car is 'modified'
Lipstick on the window
Cans and balloons are tied

It's not a worn out cliche
As the night winds down they realise
They really have just lived through
The best day of their lives

You may not know it by looking at me
But I live life on the edge
At any given moment on any given day
I laugh in the face of death

Why, just the other night I didn't brush my teeth
Before I went to bed
That may shock you beyond all belief
But that's just the reckless man that I am

And if that isn't crazy enough
I remember not so long ago
Going outside in the pouring rain
Without my galoshes on

Can life be lived any more daring
I know your dying to ask
When you live life on the edge like I do
That my friend is a simple known fact

So don't say I didn't warn you
That I live a wild and crazy life
It may put your head into a spin
But that's just how it is that I ride

When I'm feeling extra spunky I refuse to use blinkers
And use hand signals instead
That's how it is in the business
Of riding in the fast lane with death

Your probably thinking with all of this madness
How can one man even survive
I guess I need to clarify I'm very careful
With a lot of things in my life

I do wear my cars safety belt
I've read up on all of the facts
Speed kills even at the top end of twenty
Which I do to save on my gas

And anti-bacterial lotion
I don't do one squirt but two
Don't let that change your opinion of me
Being Mr. Daring to you

Cause one thing that I always do
And I know your going to say "NO WAY!"
I sometimes ride the city bus
Without having the correct change..

I shut off my power and my phone in an attempt to recalibrate, which is why I haven’t been posting lately. I go for a two hour walk everyday after work, talk to weird people, as well as make friends with stray animals before going home and playing my guitar until sundown. I light some candles and sit next to my open window and read until the Coast2Coast show comes on my crank radio and I listen until I fall asleep. The cold shower in the morning takes some serious *****, but after defeating the cold shower I have noticed my productivity at work sky rockets, as nothing that I will face through out my day will require the will power that is required in facing cold water submersion first thing in the morning. I have been writing the old school way with a silver Cross pen in a sketch book my mother had bought me for my 18th birthday, and boy have I forgotten what a pain it is to do edits with pen and paper.

I was growing bitter, self destructive, and unappreciative, and I figure I needed to hit rock bottom to appreciate the little things again. Thus far it is working, and I am only two weeks in. I am shooting for October 1st before I turn the power on. The phone may come sooner, as my boss is *******. I am attempting to build my body, mind and spirit as a result of my looming feelings of forlorn that have been pressing in on me in an almost shout that I have mostly ignored the past couple of years, but the time of putting my instincts aside has ended. My ear is to the ground and my eyes are to the sky and once I am full of what these fill me with, I will speak of what I have found.  Be well friends, and see you soon.