On the English Riviera,
Off a backstreet called the M5,
There's a hotel run by Basil,
The most obnoxious man alive.
He doesn't like psychiatrists,
Or any other kind of guest,
And he can't tell a peer from a pilferer,
Or a light switch from a breast.
The waiter's from Barcelona,
And tries as best he can,
But sadly he "knows nothing",
So things never go to plan.
You can order a Waldorf Salad,
And a Screwdriver with your meal,
Perhaps the "Siberian Hamster",
Or the Japo-Norwegian veal.
The duck is a trifle scarce at times,
And the chef's drunk all the wine,
But the kippers are to die for,
And the "Grail Frit" tastes just fine.
Try not to complain about your room,
Or the missing dining room door,
And if you happen to see any Germans,
PLEASE DON'T MENTION THE WAR!
RIP Andrew Sachs (1930-2016)
Andrew Sachs had a long career on stage and screen but will forever be remembered as the hapless waiter Manuel in the wonderful sit-com, Fawlty Towers. The title of my tribute is a reference to the opening sequence in which the letters on the hotel's sign were often rearranged in interesting ways.