"Life is like a brick wall.
Whenever something good happens
You add a brick.
But when something bad happens,
The wall breaks apart.
The point of life is that we keep
Building and repairing that wall.
Once we reach the end of our life,
The wall will be be so strong that
We can rest in peace for
Eternity"

-*Evan Kruck

So I suppose I shouldn't be surprised
But he wants to come to my aid
Rescue me from flirts that look like ******-Doo's Shaggy
I just don't think he realizes he's already saved me
I am no longer a damsel in distress
He showed the tower was never locked
I had a key the whole time
Now, he's so incredibly patient as I ease my way out
Loving me so fiercely; I can't help it
I love me, too
I always have, he just made me realize it
Anxiety consumes my soul like Man's Red Flower in Jungle Book
Oceans of fear splash across my brain
But my heart, although racing, is at peace
Even as I lose sight of who I am
He reminds me my imperfections are beautiful
He reminds me I am loved
He reminds me I am enough
And I feel safe
I've never known such peace
Never known such an unfailing love
I've said it before, but never will I stop believing
He is the sun; so am I
I have hope
I love him more than I ever thought possible
He is a saint
And I am lucky to call him mine
In any sense of the word

And I realized
he is the sun
but so am I
We just shine differently

It will be far more powerful
To look someone alive in the eye
Rather than dead

I can look him
In the eye and whisper
"I love you"

I am beginning to realize that
There are things in life
That will not matter in the end
For example my high school GPA
There are things so much more beautiful
And important
Like being a mother
A lover
A sister
A daughter
A friend
A human
And I am striving to be all those at once
Rather than stressing over how
I will finish my senior year
As I transition into the real world
Where I'll attend college with my best friend
Who unknowingly has made me see all this

So I did what I've been conditioned to do
I texted my ex
At least ten times
I didn't call him baby
Or say I love you
I just asked him to talk to me
Because I was feeling suicidal

He didn't even reply

I confessed this to the man I
Actually love, the saint in my life,
And he asked why I didn't come to him
For the comfort I was seeking
But "Hey babe, I really want to pass out face
Down in a bubble bath after drinking two
Bottles of NyQuil so that I can just drown"
Isn't a great pickup line

But he's my best friend

He looked so hurt
Not by my not coming to him
But my thoughts of suicide
He couldn't fathom why I'd wish myself
Dead
And it was as though he was starting into my soul
"That's the thing about relationships" he started
"Your boyfriend is supposed to be your best friend"
He promised he'd always come
He's always going to be here for me

*And I've never loved anyone more