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hj Apr 2019
And
razors and blades
and blood and scars
lost my faith
in a worls that's ours
**** happens
life is cruel
and i'm the little ****** fool
that life chose to ****
ashes and cigarettes
and cigarette burns
i'm in a little room
the walls cave in and it turns
and i,m losing my mind with every inch
my head is getting messed up
my life gets more ****** up
i can't handle this **** anymore
my head is a hot potato everyone throws around
my head sleeps to sorrows sound
it's been long
and now it's my lullaby
and i'm stuck in these circles
and time is passing by
it's passing me by
i know it *****
hj Apr 2019
Maybe We lost it
But maybe We didn’t
And I shouldn’t miss u
But I always do what I shouldn’t
hj Apr 2019
First chance you blew it
Second you threw it
Do you want me to chase after you?
Cuz honey I won’t do it
hj Mar 2019
I waited for u to call back
But this time u didn’t
Stared at your profile picture
Even though I know I shouldn’t
I still cling to you
I know I shan’t
But you tell me to move on
The thing is love
I can’t
hj Mar 2019
I know u should
But it’s hard for me to see u move on
  Mar 2019 hj
Lori Jones McCaffery
Walking streets
Where I’m unknown
I stifle sobs
And dab my eyes.
I don’t belong.
I don’t fit in.
There’s nothing here
That smells of me,
That looks like me,
That calls to me.

I climb a hill
To watch the sun
Pour pink and gold
On lacy clouds.
I scan the valley
Full of houses.
Which one is mine-
It’s hard to tell.
they look the same
But I do not.

My footsteps do not
Fit the path
I need to walk
If I’m to find
A welcome here
I worship the wrong
Ideals and ideas
And I must hide
Behind a silent smile
Lest I be ushered out.

I cannot run
I’m here to stay
There is no other
Universe for me.
I’ll choose a
Another middle name-
Chameleon sounds right.
I’ll make them think
I’m one of them
And blend into a life.
                ljm
Another old one (well, 6 mo. old, anyway).  From my "I don't want to be here" period.  I'm better (resigned) now.
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