Imaging you when you were a school girl
Mini- sarong, small white shirt
A bag jam-packed with books hanging on your shoulder
Tiara in head, and two queues like two small dark snake
And those long eye petals highlighted with collyrium
Your two sapphires fluctuating in deep Blue Ocean
Impish humming birds were humming with their assiduous tongue,
to get your attention.
Let the Almighty curse their tongue was your supplication
Walking in two fickleness legs, licking an Ice- cream
Bewilderingly, you became my “A Midsummer night’s dream”.
Each second I encounter you in my Ruya
For years you are my Ruya.

i don't think that missing someone or something
is defined by the things
that remind you of them
but by the fact that you slowly --
-- but surely
forget those things about them
like their voice
and their laugh
and the way they sang
when they were in the shower
because they thought you never listened
i think it's the forgetting
not the remembering
that drives people crazy
to the point of calling and
hanging up
just to hear that someone --
-- you just came to mind
say "hello"
one last time.

i don't really know
if i ever mattered
or if i ever will

god forbid i wonder if i *do

kiss me
and i smile

because your lips are soft
and they take the oxygen from my lungs
and they whisper my name
and tell me they love me
and i love them so much

**** me
and i smile

because i wont feel ****** anymore
or breathe the polluted air that seems to fill me
or think until im dead
in bed with fresh scars under my clothes

remember when you loved me?
it's so strange to think
that you can't return me &
exchange me
for something better
to fill those three months
of your memory

no matter how long it's been
since you spoke to me
those 94 days will
always be filled
with us

i know i'm damaged goods
the blockbuster dvd
that came with a scratched disc
even if the case was pristine

my movie doesn't play
day after day
without you
my heart just sits
in this shell
of what i used to be

i remember the time
i was only damaged goods
fondly.

these days i am oh-so
empty
.

how can i miss something
or someone that i've
never had?

i'm pretty ****
good at it,
if you ask
me.

Skin, the
girl you're
in. sleepsso

furiously amongst
the roots of chaste flowers

i twould
(to loose by touches febrile)
the flock; your gabled arch

unroost so mightily
tempests even would swoon

(and sodden every desert parched)