I feel numb and cold. I
feel isolated and bored.
My hands have sinned
again. This body is no
longer holy without you
by its side. Without your
hands caressing my
arms and thighs.

I painted a map on the
wall. Planned to build a
raft to float across the
ocean hoping to land
on your shores.

I can't sleep alone
anymore. I have to
move next to you. I
forgot what is it like to
feel. Lost my appetitive
and will to survive. I
need you badly in my
bed sheets tonight. I
stained the walls
with geography.

Paint splattered on my
shirt. And now I'm left
with nothing to do but
to write you a love note
and head out to build
that boat.

I'll be kicking these
waves soon. By dawn
i'll be wrapped up in
your arms. And we'll
be kissing again under
the moon light. But now ,
i have these feral
waves to
fight ~

We've been lost. Up and
down. Laughing like maniacs
and clowns. Broken and bent.
Wounded and hurt. Used and
abused. Beaten down to the
bone. Choked by the neck
and throat. Slaves to our
suicidal thoughts. Obeying
nothing but our sharpened
razors and shining blades.
We've been numb and
paralyzed , no one around
bothered to pause and
realize. But we moved
on as we clutched on
our lucky charms.

Despite our same homes
and walls. Same lives and
paths. Same work and ghosts ,
we found a light shining in
our cold worlds. Hope
dangling from a thread.
God's hand reaching out
from the morning's blue
skies patting our backs and
offering some help. We
found angels floating above
with their harps and violins
as we closed our tired eyes ,
they sang us songs to
make us feel alright.

We found new worlds that
exist inside of our chests.
Dreams of ginger heads ,
cookies and bread. Dreams
of gold and shimmering
jewels. Dreams of love and
wearing designer shoes.
We let go of the things that
hurt our souls and hearts.
In the hallow corridors of
our minds , we walked with
confidence and pride. We
promised that we'll keep
going in this life with out
a scream or a cry.

We promised ourselves to
move on as we let out gentle
breaths of relief instead of
sobs and sighs. We promised
to work ******* our lives.
We promised ourselves that
we'll survive no matter how
high our waves will rise. No
matter how rough our storms
and winds will get. With
a positive attitude
we'll bloom and shine
like the moon* ~

They said I could be
whatever I wanted to be.
So I decided to be a
poetess. I decided to be
wild and free. I broke out
of my skin. Dressed my
self up with my papers
and pen. Broke my walls
and burnt my bridges ,
stepped on my past and
took out my stitches. I
became a soul drenched
in chaos and raw emotions.
I became madly in love
with a man who became
my religion and god. With
a man who became
everything I've believed
in. I became madly in
love with a man who
washed me from sin
and made me holy
again the minute he
touched my back
and chest. The
minute he kissed
my lips and
aching
hips ~