I only write,
when
I am in love
or
Falling apart.

some people

cut themselves
with knives

burn themselves
with cigarettes

I am not obvious like that
I think instead of act

an inner dialogue
like chess

I set traps for myself

you bring fire
and you bring fear
love that turns my heart to steel

there is so much more out here
so much more
that I can feel

I still wander
the same streets
the same path
through the same night

but without you
this same sky
is suddenly

so full of light

don't know what I want
don't know what's real and
my mind is reeling
too many feelings

paint a smile
on every mask
for all my friends
pretend
I'm dealing

but deep inside
I want to hide
I want to scream
burn down everything

and yet instead
I keep the fire in my head
and I smile through the flames

so they can't feel my pain