A fragile girl crushed by the human blood of another that was stronger and less emotional. She was never sure how she was going to get back up.
Until the lines of a clover told her to run after that boy she watched walk away in the parking lot lights and the dim shading of the moon.
With hands heavy on each side of her face and eye lids tucked lightly, it all started with the stars dancing and the loud booms of actual fireworks.
In his tongue, he shoved things in her mouth like "Don't be afraid, baby. Just kiss me."
And he breathed in her air like it depended on his life to have it. He held on to it and took it into every valve in his lungs. He needed her to breathe properly.
**save it for when you need it

Some people are roads.
And I mean that in a extremely less harmful way then it seems.
You see someone with all the answers to the world could come around and walk straight into your life, but it would be the other way around because you're not the road you see, they are.
They may hold you tight and tell you sweet things but in two months you'll see that they were just a road, a road that leads you to the person with a broken smile, and nothing to say but what's on their mind.
Sometimes what's on their mind is better than what they were told to say, or what they are used to saying.
The road could be someone who says all the things you want to hear like "You're stunning in that dress." but the person you're being led wouldn't say a word but kiss you because you've taken their breath away.
The road may seem like the world but they are just the road leading you to the world.
You see what I'm trying to say about this is: someone may seem like a lesson but they're not, they're just taking you a step closer to the one you're supposed to be with.

World
spinning
relentless
and just two weeks left.
I hope this sounds like
love
I paint her lips, softer
and softer like
easing onto a highway ramp
and never coming home.
and
my finest moments were with her
high as ****
and warmer than the 2 o'clock sun
laughing
till we were as numb as her kitchen floor
feelings so much that we felt nothing at all
The worst difference being
She will miss me at 2 in the morning
but I will still miss her at 2 in the afternoon and that means more than I can take right now.
Summer seasons fireball stains on my shoulder
or her perfect skin pressed against my still body or
finding how she breathes sin,
like smoking cinnamon from her bitten bottom lip
and I swear she is or
you are all I see
To never closing bedroom doors
to swimming eyes and feeling older
to tracing fingers down my spine
to intimacy and every synonym
to knowing I do not need you
to knowing that I want you
to sharing toothbrushes
to forgetting our bests
to our similar minds
to not telling time
to being foolish
to becoming.
to maturity.
to growth.
to rush.
to you.
to us.

Dear DZ,
You weren't a lover. You were barely a friend. You just said the right things and you were the first boy to make my lips flutter against yours. I thought I loved you, but I was young and naive. Now, you're in a worst position than you were in when we were an item. I wish you the best, you may not deserve it, but I'll say it to be nice.
Dear TA,
I didn't like you. I lied to you. I felt lonely, and you were a sensitive boy that was easy to get to. But, I did lead you to your first and only love. The girl you'll probably be with for the rest of your life, even if it may be short due to the fact that you have go watch your sugar and have medicine pumped into you.
Dear DR,
You were the first boy that made me feel like I had sun rays shining out of the deepest layers of my skin. I felt warm next to you. You were older, and I was still young and naive. I fell for your words, and the way you touched my skin. I was migrating far, but still loving you more every day. One day you whispered in my ear not to get too close so that it didn't hurt so bad when I left. But I still got to close, even when you pushed me away and ditched me for your friends. Now, your dad is my boss and I stare at you in the hallways and wish those pretty lucid blue eyes were my property. Glued to my soul forever.
Dear ER,
You were my first real love. There's a lot to say about you. First of all, you're an *******. I lived in a different state, but I still heard your words and felt your breath on my skin. You were there mentally. When I came back, we spent two hours admiring how perfect we were to each other, now that we'd seen each other. You were everything I wanted, standing right in front of me. But, people change. You grew a couple inches, your voice got deeper, and your soul changed. You aren't the same sweet and funny boy I used to know. Instead, you pretended you were sick and ignored me for weeks. You were only there when you wanted to be. You made me cry for hours, and you watched me suffer in front of you while you took care of my best friend. But, no matter how much you change or how much you say you hate me more than anything, I will always love and remember you. You were my life, and you will be forever stitched to my skin, and your vines intertwined in my ribs. I love and hate you at the same time, it's very frustrating.
Dear LH,
Yes, you were his brother. It's wrong, I know. I've heard it too many times. I gave you my security, and I let you touch me. We spent the night in parking lots, and tip toeing into my room. You kept me alive, then you killed me. And I'll never forget driving your beat up black jeep in the fall. I'm still not sure that I ever loved you. But I sure loved the idea of you being there, lying next to me. You told me, "Baby, it's okay. I didn't leave." Just to show me in the future that you would. Now, all I want to do is spit in your face and yell "*******." You left, far too many times. You ****** my best friend. I let my guard down, right after your own blood had already killed me inside. You were never good enough. I always told myself that I wasn't, but it was the other way. You incompetent waste of space, you deserve nothing.
Dear KMT,
You were a bad boy. I went crazy for you, absolutely crazy. The words you said made me feel again after being nearly too weak to even walk. Thank you, for saving me. I wasn't hurt when you said you just wanted to be friends, I wanted you in my life, lover or not. I know, you needed to get over her. I was okay with that. I'll wait. You came back, you made more promises. And you still keep them. I'll always admire you or that. You're my soul mate, in a way. I loved you. I love you.
Dear CA,
Your accent made me weak at every joint in my body. You sang to me everyday. "I wake up, crack a cold one, put a dip in, got my boots and my overalls on." My country boy. You had the mind of a romantic, the lips of a maniac, and the soul of a gypsy. You made me forget about ER. For that, I'll always thank you. But, the brother made you run away. I wanted you, a lot. You came back, but now were just friends although to still wonder what it would be like to taste the mint Grizzly on your lips.
Dear TP,
We've been best friends for years. We fight like an old married couple. You're my musician, and my sensitive boy. I've loved you many times, one of us always got scared and ran away (usually me, I'm sorry). This time, I was ready. But you ran. That was your last chance. We barely speak anymore, but that's okay. I just hope you're okay and you learn to become strong and keep yourself alive.
Dear DLAP,
You had me completely and utterly stunned by everything you did. You had me convinced. I must applaud you for fooling a girl like me. You took the last of my innocence and 6 days later you took someone else's. I didn't want to feel the blood run through my veins anymore. I wanted to watch it pour out until I couldn't breathe anymore. So thank you, for reminding me what death felt like. You crushed me inside and out. You deserve to be alone and I deserve the world. I've forgotten your eyes, your lips, and I said goodbye. But you've poisoned my head with "I do miss her. Like when a song comes on or I watch The Great Gatsby. I've messed up enough, though. I would rather stay out of her life and let her live." And these words will haunt me until I learn to block them out. Valerie.

Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.
2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.
3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting,see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.
4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of chicken mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.
6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behaviour. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.
7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.