Dear DZ,
You weren't a lover. You were barely a friend. You just said the right things and you were the first boy to make my lips flutter against yours. I thought I loved you, but I was young and naive. Now, you're in a worst position than you were in when we were an item. I wish you the best, you may not deserve it, but I'll say it to be nice.
Dear TA,
I didn't like you. I lied to you. I felt lonely, and you were a sensitive boy that was easy to get to. But, I did lead you to your first and only love. The girl you'll probably be with for the rest of your life, even if it may be short due to the fact that you have go watch your sugar and have medicine pumped into you.
Dear DR,
You were the first boy that made me feel like I had sun rays shining out of the deepest layers of my skin. I felt warm next to you. You were older, and I was still young and naive. I fell for your words, and the way you touched my skin. I was migrating far, but still loving you more every day. One day you whispered in my ear not to get too close so that it didn't hurt so bad when I left. But I still got to close, even when you pushed me away and ditched me for your friends. Now, your dad is my boss and I stare at you in the hallways and wish those pretty lucid blue eyes were my property. Glued to my soul forever.
Dear ER,
You were my first real love. There's a lot to say about you. First of all, you're an *******. I lived in a different state, but I still heard your words and felt your breath on my skin. You were there mentally. When I came back, we spent two hours admiring how perfect we were to each other, now that we'd seen each other. You were everything I wanted, standing right in front of me. But, people change. You grew a couple inches, your voice got deeper, and your soul changed. You aren't the same sweet and funny boy I used to know. Instead, you pretended you were sick and ignored me for weeks. You were only there when you wanted to be. You made me cry for hours, and you watched me suffer in front of you while you took care of my best friend. But, no matter how much you change or how much you say you hate me more than anything, I will always love and remember you. You were my life, and you will be forever stitched to my skin, and your vines intertwined in my ribs. I love and hate you at the same time, it's very frustrating.
Dear LH,
Yes, you were his brother. It's wrong, I know. I've heard it too many times. I gave you my security, and I let you touch me. We spent the night in parking lots, and tip toeing into my room. You kept me alive, then you killed me. And I'll never forget driving your beat up black jeep in the fall. I'm still not sure that I ever loved you. But I sure loved the idea of you being there, lying next to me. You told me, "Baby, it's okay. I didn't leave." Just to show me in the future that you would. Now, all I want to do is spit in your face and yell "*******." You left, far too many times. You ****** my best friend. I let my guard down, right after your own blood had already killed me inside. You were never good enough. I always told myself that I wasn't, but it was the other way. You incompetent waste of space, you deserve nothing.
Dear KMT,
You were a bad boy. I went crazy for you, absolutely crazy. The words you said made me feel again after being nearly too weak to even walk. Thank you, for saving me. I wasn't hurt when you said you just wanted to be friends, I wanted you in my life, lover or not. I know, you needed to get over her. I was okay with that. I'll wait. You came back, you made more promises. And you still keep them. I'll always admire you or that. You're my soul mate, in a way. I loved you. I love you.
Dear CA,
Your accent made me weak at every joint in my body. You sang to me everyday. "I wake up, crack a cold one, put a dip in, got my boots and my overalls on." My country boy. You had the mind of a romantic, the lips of a maniac, and the soul of a gypsy. You made me forget about ER. For that, I'll always thank you. But, the brother made you run away. I wanted you, a lot. You came back, but now were just friends although to still wonder what it would be like to taste the mint Grizzly on your lips.
Dear TP,
We've been best friends for years. We fight like an old married couple. You're my musician, and my sensitive boy. I've loved you many times, one of us always got scared and ran away (usually me, I'm sorry). This time, I was ready. But you ran. That was your last chance. We barely speak anymore, but that's okay. I just hope you're okay and you learn to become strong and keep yourself alive.
Dear DLAP,
You had me completely and utterly stunned by everything you did. You had me convinced. I must applaud you for fooling a girl like me. You took the last of my innocence and 6 days later you took someone else's. I didn't want to feel the blood run through my veins anymore. I wanted to watch it pour out until I couldn't breathe anymore. So thank you, for reminding me what death felt like. You crushed me inside and out. You deserve to be alone and I deserve the world. I've forgotten your eyes, your lips, and I said goodbye. But you've poisoned my head with "I do miss her. Like when a song comes on or I watch The Great Gatsby. I've messed up enough, though. I would rather stay out of her life and let her live." And these words will haunt me until I learn to block them out. Valerie.