These people are disgusting. I guess that makes me disgusting too.

I'm surrounded by strangers. Isn't that funny to think about? Like being illuminated by darkness. I'm alone, surrounded by strangers and not a single one will ever know what I'm doing.

I'm so tired of everyone. They're all so mean. So inconsiderate. So stupid. OH MY GOD SO STUPID. How could You love them all? How could You love me?

Your sly crooked smile
your lips twitching
asking
for a kiss.

Your heart thumping
in my ear
as I lay on your chest.

Your glances you would sneak
just to me, just for me,
when we were with others.

Your cold fingers
relaxed and posable,
in my nervous hands.

The sound of the door,
as it closed,
that last night.

The sting of finality,
restricting my lungs,
collapsing my throat.

The tears streaking
my numb face.
My first hollow, shaking breath.

My memories. Our memories.
That I am dying, just dying,
to forget.

They had a love for the boundary wall
Where occupied round the seasons
Their frames slender or substantial
Meditative eyes in philosophic brooding
Till in the sunset years or sooner
They disappeared beyond that wall.

Many of them have warmed those bricks
When the night’s chill forbade to be outdoor
But the restless ears strained to hear
Brushing of body against body
Till their blood warmed in the moon’s heat
Covered the delirious trek to the dawn!

Now have come up the fence of iron spears
Burying the joys and yesteryear’s tears
And the restless ears can now only hear
The cold bricks groaning in the night’s lull!

Quietly bids the time for the transit
Beyond the boundary wall!

vicious.
invincible oath (such *******)
victorious, we made it out different than the others
integral parts of your life lost so easily between essays and a soft mouth
even when your phone rings first
no i have to work
no go on without me
even i can't understand all this; a tide rises inside me

*march 12 2014/12:10 A.M.

Morning of beauty,
Sky clear and blue,
The blessing of springtime, kisses my tree,
Pray have a great day, both me and you,
The flowers are blooming,
The grass is bright green,
Bring us a package of glorious spring,
So clearly seen,
Let the weather stay pleasant,
With no sign of snow,
Lets us bear not the brunt,
May the flowers still grow.
Give us the sunshine,
As basking in sunlight, is just truly fine!
(C) LIVVI

You know when I said I didn't think you would be able to function
Without me?
I was wrong.
So wrong.
It's me who couldn't do without you.

I love you so much.
And that's why I string you along.
That's why I have to keep you in love with me.
Because if you're not
You'll leave.

It won't be your fault either.
It will be mine.
For opening up and being stupid.
For doing so and knowing full well what will happen.
Eventually you'll have to stop caring about me
And my problems
And my happiness
And my rants.
You just will.

And then you won't be in love with me anymore
And then our relationship will change

It will gradually turn from the
Constant, steady rock it is to me now
Into crumbles
And then
To dust and
It will blow away in the wind
Before I even know
It broke.

And once again
I'll have opened up for nothing.
But it won't be your fault
I won't be mad
And eternity wouldn't be long enough
For you to wait
When I'll say,
*I don't love you.

How many ships Lord?
How many ships?
How many ships are you sending?
I want to come home
I say as tears wet my lips
Lord
How many ships?

Everytime I think of you.
Everytime I think of you my skin tries to run away, and the goosebumps infect the people next to me. My stomach contents heave-** and tango to the beat of my limping heart. The tears swirl and tickle my eyelashes, but they do not fall, like I, for you.
Everytime I think of you.
Everytime I think of you I forget how to use the 26 letters of the alphabet to spell your name. The tastes of "want" and "need" ****** my tongue because you are those flavours.

Everytime I think of you.
I try to stop.
Because you turned the butterflies in my stomach into moths.

Why did you do that?

it's weird that Brits say "chips" instead of "french fries",
and it's sad that your dad says "you're hopeless" instead of "I love you".
it's weird that the sun pokes up out of the ground at different times everyday,
and it's sad that it hurts more when you poke your finger than when you run the blade down your skin.
it's weird that the sun still shines when it's 3 degrees outside,
and it's sad that 3 am is filled with thoughts of agony and your pillow is stained with the salt water from your eyes.
it's weird that there's 365 days in a year but it dreads on feeling like 1,000,
and it's sad that the pills that are supposed to make you feel better for your depression only make you want to swallow 365 more to make the pain go away.
it's weird that you're forced to go to school with ignorant teenagers that have no idea what they want in life besides getting high,
and it's sad that those teenagers romanticize self harm and depression like it's beautiful to have demons in your mind eating away your sanity.