He opens his Star Wars: A New Hope lunch box
Inside a hippies dream.
**** in baggies that have the superman symbol
And Batman symbol on them
Tabs of LSD
And molly.
Hunter S. Thompson would have a field day

©Gambit '13

I remember when we on that sunny afternoon
grabbed a Hanson to the Lyons tearooms
we were rather jolly and full of mischief
when in there you dropped your silk gloves
I bent down to pick them up, slowly you did lift your skirt
your legs did part, with a naughty devilish smile pert

We drank Earl Grey by the *** full
strawberry cream cakes with filling cool
laughing how extraordinary it was to find each other
both spirits of freedoms never forgotten
you pushed a cream cake in my face
and I got the cream down your blouse of lace

Then we started kissing and wanting more
that's when the staff showed us the door
and as we ran down the muddy cobbled road
you grabbed my arm and said let's stop I'm cold
pulling me in with eyes of wanton lust
you had your way with me at last


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

By NeonSolaris
© 2013 NeonSolaris (All rights reserved)

How do you tell someone that they’re not real
Politely?
Quietly?
I don’t know what to do anymore
What if none of this really matters
What if we’re all going to be okay
Because I’m not real
And you’re not real
But how do you say that because we aren’t actually human
We’re just pretending
Because life is about the things that we don’t understand
We don’t see
But why can’t anyone tell me how to tell them I don’t experience
What I’m supposed to because
I’m not real
And you’re not real
And reality is just an illusion because we don’t really exist
And humans are just a concept
And life is just a fleeting idea in the mind of something we can’t even begin to understand
Because we’re not real
I’m not real
I don’t understand and I can’t see with all this dust around me
Dust kicked up by the thousands of feet
All copies of the same feet marching
Oh god we’re not real we all have the same feet look at your feet
How do I say this because we aren’t real so we can’t listen and we can’t hear
Is it polite to tell someone that their entire life is false?
Can it be done quietly?
We’re all going to be okay I swear to god
Because in a thousand other places we don’t exist
And in two thousand more we are okay already
So the odds say that we’re likely to be okay here
Because we’re already okay somewhere
I swear to god
But in the long run it probably doesn't matter anyway because there is no long run
Because I’m not real
I’m not real and I can’t see oh god there’s so much dust
All I can hear is the marching
I’m not real
I’m a thought in a bubble in a cloud in the dirt
I can’t be real because they told me reality wasn’t like this
But then when I hear you speak
Why do I hear humanity’s voice
When I read those words
Your words
Why can I feel the idea creeping politely
quietly
Into my mind that I might be a real person
Because this isn’t supposed to happen
Oh god, not to just a thought
Not to a mere figment
My feet are itchy
This isn’t supposed to happen
Not to a lie
Not to a lie like me

How I wish I was the cigarette
that brings you back down easy
pressed between your soft lips

How I wish I was the sheets
that keep you warm and safe at night
wrapped around your delicate frame

How I wish I was the guitar
that sings familiar to you each night
caressed by your gentle hands

How I wish I was the book
that spoke understanding to you across time
gazed upon intently by your longing eyes

I believe I was the poem
that you created in your sorrow
crumpled up and thrown away

...were you ashamed?

Clear off the bed
and come lie next to me
or lie with me
or crawl under these sheets
and die with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clear out your mind
and sink down low with me
or get high with me
or hold my hand
and lose some time with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clean up your act
and fall apart with me
or fall, apart from me
or fall, a part of me
and take some time to cry with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clean out your car
and run away with me
or run to me
or put it in reverse
and go back to the start with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Cleanse your spirit
and embrace this pain with me
or brace for pain with me
or take a moment to put me back together
and just be with me, with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could still get used to this

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

This morning, after he left,
I had a revelation -
Maybe some things are only meant
to happen
once.

Like, that time I was on ESPN at the basketball game.
Or, that time I met my favorite musician and he complimented my shirt.
Also, that time we all swam in the Aegean Sea as as the sun set, and we felt invincible.
I guess even the time that really dreamy boy slept in my bed and we made "love" all night.

So, maybe some things are only meant
to happen
once.
And, maybe realizing it will never happen again is what makes it feel perfect.

But, I wish some things could happen twice.
Or, I wish that I could freeze a fleeting moment,
and appreciate its entirety,
before it is gone.
Before I know its only going to happen
once.