Smelling more than just the scent
And cautioning myself to understand
Why I believe the roses smell so fond
Yet death could quicken my *****.
Edging up the back of my throat
In dry heave after gag
Begging me to stop breathing
Just to stop perceiving the sight of death.

No where to go as the mind never moves
Moving scenes tell me who I am.
Mythology crept into my existance
In every story book I ever read.
I'm seeing the roles we are choosing to play.
Moving the holes which seem to grow in the day.
Yet at night something strange.
At night there's rearrange.

Do you ever want something
Can't have nothing
Try to do something
Don't know nothing.
Try to move something
Can't lift anything.
Do you ever yearn
For some unknown
And become stricken by the panic.

Polished cardboard wet with angst.
Fringed across the air ways.
It's cuddled breathing
Clostrophobia.
I want to feel you in my nose and mouth
Like cat hair clinging to the moisture
And to my face.
Indescribable frustration as I attempt to wipe it away.
Futile.

Sounding off those ringing chords in my mind there's no explanation but I won't get myself into a fit. Panic never healed a thing. I'm wondering home much of this is orchestrated from behind the scenes and how many of the things i think are really mine. Is it possible.... no don't go to that thought. Night mare vision panic ensues. Keep it beautiful. Think it through. Beauty beauty only you. Maybe I'm safe, that's option two.

Say what it is that's been eating you
this grey washed suffocation
Your calling it home brother

Yet
we are far from where the flowers grow in the midst of grave yards for hours so
say what it is that's been eating you

through little holes in the bones
like bees in a tree
and your scratching now
yet nothing is come from your mouth

just seeping from those pores
who abused you son,
oh you from your mother's womb
your lovers heart
your mortal doom
your peace apart.
Whose closed your doors my child of nature my son of man
My divine favor.
Say what's been eating you
So we could bid it rest.

Holding you despite your thorns
I relish in your every twitch
The ones that send shivers down me
And the ones which embed in my skin
Affliction of some savage disease.
I understand you and purpose and drive
I know what I'm feeling inside.
Aware of the pressure in your brain and in your blood.
Aware of your spur your cane and your love.
Aware of this cyclic dangerous nature
Aware of this life and of some high creator.
I know you won't give more than you can receive, I know when your closing your pretending to leave I know in the end it will always be the same.
Kissing my wounds and healing your pain.
Some terrible control
Some quality Un known.
Some battle between
The me and the me.
Some trifling show
Of what I don't know
Some space In between
the pieces of me.