Guts climbing
into my mouth and out of my ***
Sick would be an understatement
Nauseas doesn't pin it down
Anxiety is rolling waves
And I'm crumbling with out a sound.
I'm quivering with sweat
I only wanted to be sober
I will not feel regret
Tomorrow I can start over.

Blue machine
Dripping opal Shimmer
Climbing so high
The sun starts seeming dimmer
Im ready to explode now.

Broken parts want mending
in catering to your sentimental
and making grave stones
To hold the weight
Of your greif.
I want not judgment
Or thoughts of what could have been.
But the acceptance that my wombs fruit
Decayed
Before it could be
Displayed
and my heart will never beat
In my fruit
Not that fruit.
Pray for new fruit
Someday fruit.
But not that fruit.
It decayed in the dirt
And I'm sad.
But I hold my grief
In wind chimes and grave stones
And sentimental is my pain
For the imaginary happiness
If things had ripened.

Dressing tedious
an easy pie
her black night Shimmer's
Controlled Sublime
I ask myself why
Who are the edges of my seams
rip up what's supposed to be underneath but I don't like it there anymore and I don't want it there
Black Knights Shimmer
It is in her hair
Blue Notes of Tangerine only when they're under moonlight
My qualities are growing dimmer my time is passing by me
but her Black Knight Shimmer brings me back
The water softens and Echoes the reflection back into the sky and I
I always ask myself why
And who are the seams that Hold Me Together and where did the dreams come from and where do the ideas come from and where does the mind come from and what is my mind truly trying to do and what is it trying to grasp and why is it why is it why is it still trying to survive

Following the rhymes of the wind blows
But it seems to follow me
Like every time i call it forward
It moves to set me free
And all the trees seem to flow
In an interpretive dance
Yes all the time I'm holding still
Branches react to my glance.
And why does life never seem to work
For some but then theirs others
Who worship nature in their hearts
And are connected with the mother
Whose attitudes and shining smiles
Can make the weather change
And other miracles
Fast react
Happening more than strange.
Why it's almost as if
Needs are met

Blank stare.
Jesus.
On the cross
Why is that so glamorised.
I'm glazing over
Just staring at his dead...
Wait
Not dead
Suffering body
Hanging from a chunk of would
Being devalued over and over
And we shouldnt keep idols
And statues of naked women
And goats are not for worship
Yet we worship the image
Of the most powerful human aspect
Hung out to dry.
What an ego driven world
It should be your ugly aspects
On that cross
Release your christ
From that tainted bond age
Why do we replay the horrid past
When jesus lived?
He was taken off that cross
Yet you make him wear it
Over and over and over again

Young daughter
Pride and narcissis
Flowers blooming
Sensational.
Son
Burning brightly
With in his own vortex.
Waxing and waning
Mean nothing to him .
Feminine
Blooms and then decays
Sorrow fills her heart
Departure never easy

Blazing styrofoam
Fixating on
Certain points
Admiration
Causes want
He never knew.

She grows like lightening
Flying fingers of electrocution
Stream toward and to and away
Flowers all bloom in unison
The moon is full of sin
And the son walks with in it all

Until he craves that nothing peace
That instability of the moving scene
Takes far away from his serene
And he hides from the motions
And her moon wanes still
And her flowers decay
And her mind feels grey.
But he needs the rest
While she nurtures so below
In his darkness
She nurtures as above.