if they're out of reach, just pretend you're sleeping next to them until the emptiness sitting in your arms begins to tire your muscles.

i feel empty.
every time my head fills with cynical thoughts
and my mouth opens to let out a cry,'
nothing comes out.
i am empty.
i emit no feelings.
no expressions.
i am a blank sheet of paper
and where are you to fill in these lines?
in this time i am alone in my horror
without you here as my cushion of distraction
and my happiness
i come to the realization
i am nothing without you.

sadness is overwhelming
sadness is a drop of black paint
in a sea of white
one little drip and the whole thing turns grey.

white lines of what is like sugar to me
my little puffs of happiness and ease
i lower my head into the clouds
and inhale the magic up to my head.
that familiar burning sensation
and lightness in my brain
i finally feel at ease.
i am ok.
for now.

mimicking his sarcasm and wit all her life
but her personality wasn't the only thing she got from her father.
her curiosity of endless pills and bottles and pipes
whatever she could find
to take her someplace nicer.
thats what she inherited most.

feeling melancholy
although somewhere inside me
lies the true reason for my sadness
inside me is the bitter awareness
consciousness of your depart
for a short while you are here
but i know soon you will leave
and i will remain
only with you
a memory

i sit in this empty bed and think to when it was full
of our tangled legs and bodies pressed together,
hands intertwined under the blankets.
i think to when i could turn my head
and look into the eyes of the person i love.
*why has this mattress spun on it's axis and left me alone again?