I know exactly what fear looks like
when in a dream, death knocked on my door
I know exactly what a prayer sounds like
when in the morning, i talked to god out loud
I know exactly what temptation is
when fears becomes a reality
and the devil knocks on your door
trying to shake your faith
by facing you with death
but in death, i have faith
in darkness and in light, i find strength
in darkness and in light, i will find my truth
and there always be light in the dark
because I’ll carry my flame through it, lux in tenebris

What do you do, when you find out
That all your anxiety,
Is reality?
That all of your friends laugh behind your back,
That everyone you care for is telling the joke
Telling the story
Of how you were strong and brave,
Except they left out being strong and brave
And replaced them with foolish and naive
because that's what you get for letting your walls down.

When you meet me; here's what you meet
A blank page with walls built high up
If you're lucky, I'll craft you a window
Maybe a door.

If you've shown your true colours;
I'l maybe, just maybe
Let the walls down.

It's very hard for me to connect with people
My trust issues are often mistaken with my anxiety
But know that I did let you in
A mistake I shouldn't have made

Now as I rebuild my walls up with time and care
I hope you don't feel offended as your true colours
Were nothing but painted over;
An impression you give to others,
A little bit like me
Except I leave no harm on my way
I leave a little bit like the breeze
You feel it, but not too much.

And now, I give you freedom
To tell the story,
If you'll ever remember me
As more than just a passenger in your life
As more than just the one that got away.

i don't mind a little smoke in my eyes baby
bright lights and sharing drinks
whiskey and beer
flirtatious looks from across the room
hands on my hips take me wherever you go

hands in each other's hair and so much laughter
lip bite
ear whisper
neck brush
ice back
take me wherever you go

4, 3, 2, 1
stairs run
catching up with friends
and stopping along the way
hearing whistles
and sleepy grumpy friends
up against a wall
not caring too much

take me wherever you will go

Spread out on the bathroom floor
Sick and tired of all the beautiful excuses he makes
The sugar-coated ones,
Sugar rush of tears and time wasted thinking of him
She, finds comfort in her cigarettes,
She's beautiful, she's wonderful
And of course she doesn't see it,
When the tears have carved darkness under her eyes.
She can barely sleep,
Looking for something in the dark
but in the dark we barely see anything
and there's no answer to our questions
And you know what?
She deserves all of the love someone can give
And I'd hold her close if she cries
My heart breaks in a million little pieces for her
But he, he loves her
And every time she smiles,
the world gets a little better
but every time she cries the angels above break their wings a little

*and that's a beautiful, tragic , love
and she deserves all of the love in the world

death,
such sweet melody to your ear
but i whisper
'death scares me'
and you say
honey, we'll never grow old
promise
but here i am
aging
changing
i can see it
i feel it
what about that promise
where am i going
i don't want to leave
i want to be eternal
until
the stars get bored of me
and my light fades away

Hurt kills every inch of hope

It hurts me to know that you feel broken,
Empty or just sad, for whatever reason it may be.
Let me just hold you in my arms
Let me heal every single one of your scars
I will haunt every single one of your demons
Darling, you know how ugly the world is
But you are beautiful
You, beautiful soul
And they all throw rocks at you,
But you know that they throw rocks
At everything that shines.
You know my love,
That we’re all stuck in the same circle of pain,
It ends only when you die,
and may death be as far away from you,
Because I couldn’t live a day without you

I hope you suffer
Remembering me
I hope you feel horrible
for every time you got drunk and called me
I hope you feel horrible whenever
You notice the bruises on my thighs

I'm not sorry that you broke my heart
I'm not sorry that I keep on coming back to you
Because your poison is my new addiction

I just really hope one day someone gives you a taste of that poison.

i'm the worst kind of poet
the one who doesn't care much for rhymes or anything else
traditon is not something i'd conform to
but i do appreciate it

here's the thing
i am the worst kind of poet
because in my words
it doesn't have to rhyme
but it has to make you feel something

it doesn't have to be the most intricate of language
but it has to tell you a story

a story that is most probably mine

here's also why i'm a bad poet
i feel too much and am too much
or simply not enough
i'm either too interested or not
too in love or without a feeling

here's more
i'll tell you thr truth
but romanticize the pain
say something,
and its complete opposite
i'm a living paradox
the worst kind

i'm the worst because i'll simply say
that

i miss you


i love you


i hate you


are poetry
and i sure as heck am not

I've felt the words, pierce through my veins
From I love yous to goodbyes
You are the reason there is art in me
The kisses you lay on my skin
And the way you paint me with your hands in the dark
Navigating from my eyes to my cheeks
And tracing my lips with your fingers
And you stop at my neck,
To feel my pulse and maybe if I'm still breathing right
Because by now I'm not
And you kiss my cheek to say something funny in my ear
To make me smile

I've felt the sting of words when you said I'm good enough
But left me for her

But you know and I know, she's much better

I've felt the sting of words and I love you,I love you, I love you
From the way you looked the other way around when i said it

And I've felt the sting of goodbyes
When you didn't look back

And I feel the sting in every unexpected hello
When we meet in a coffee shop
And i dread to look at the person behind me
every text, once in a while
When I fear to fall back in you arms
You're the vicious cycle I can't escape
My sleepless nights and shaky hands
Tearful eyes and mascara cheeks
I'll say that once again and for the last time
I love you
I miss you
But you're no good for me

Remembering is, to me a blessing and a curse
it is a blessing because i remember birthdays
and things that make people smile
i remember the small details of the way my lover wakes in the morning
i remember smells and beautiful places
but it is also a curse
because i remember,
the pair of pants i wore when i first kissed you
and i also remember the anger on your face
i remember how i always managed to get you out of your mind
i remember your reactions to my poems
always the same dull expressions on your face
i remember the night you almost hit me
the night you got so mad you could've broken a window
i remember that you have two sides
and it saddens me to see it
it saddens me because
one part of you is sweet
and the other creates thunder
and i don't know which i fell in love with
and i don't know which is worse.

She
Was the hardest to write about
Not because I can't explain her
Or I don't understand her
but because I see a lot of myself in her

She's sweet, so sweet
Vanilla would be jealous

She's tough, so tough
5 year old boys would be jealous

Even boys our age are jealous

They look at her from afar and she really doesn't know
They look at her from afar like she's untouchable
Which she is
Sometimes

She
wants the best for all of us
rolls her eyes every time we use the excuse
let's just do it while we're young

She's driven and passionate
for a lot of things
like basketball

She runs as if her life depended on it
and that's not just on the court
but in life too

She runs to our rescue,
rolling her eyes most of the time
making inappropriate jokes,
here and there


but when she needs us
she knows she can always have us by her side

and when she cries, you can bet the whole world has shifted
and the hurricane has set its roots
and she's not okay


*and that's a beautiful, tragic , love

and she deserves all of the love in the world

my tongue is tied in knots
it's you i think about
when i try to put myself to sleep
hand brushing the overflowing leaves of autumn
and heart racing like the wolves howling on a full moon
crawling inside my own skin
i thought i found my safe haven
until you swiftly brushed your lips on mine
making me fall
from what seemed like a mountain top
a skyscraper
into your arms
as down as it may be
i wouldn't mind the devil
watching us
close our eyes
as we melt into each other's skin
at last

You never know how it hurts till you're there
when you think you've seen it all
someone
will throw a rock at you
disoriented
you're gonna go places you've never thought you'd go to
almost drunk on reality you want to get lost
or just wander
but i'm pretty sure it's being lost
because i've never been so out of place out of time
out of rights
and everything is just so wrong
and nobody said it would be that hard
being on my own
i have learned that you were the only part i loved about myself
and you were the only thing keeping from murdering every part of me that was not you
you made me realise that i couldn't be fine on my own and all i was
all i ever have been was stuck in an illusion
the illusion that reality will set me free
the truth is, reality never set me free of myself
or anything
ever
and all of my fears
were everything i wanted to be
everything I always have been
a monster from within
i never learned to trust anyone not even myself
i learned to fear the clearest places
and love darkness
and i guess you are what you love
then, am i darkness?

Sometimes love, is not having the person you love with you.
Sometimes they're a million miles away and sometimes they're at arm's reach but they're not yours to have, take or keep.
Sometimes being in love means letting go and sometimes it means letting in.
Sometimes it means shouting on rooftops and other times, other times it means not even the person you love knows of your feeling.
It's quite sad actually that all of the mistakes I've made are only mistakes because they're after you.
And it's quite sad that they're also because of you but because of me.
Does that make any sense?
But here's the thing, maybe things don't work out for a reason and that's quite sad too.
I want you to know that I loved you, maybe I still do.
I loved you, not since I've met you but since I started loving you.
Maybe at the flirtatious looks or maybe at the first kiss.
I don't regret and won't ever regret loving you.
And here's the thing about me, I love so deeply so freely sometimes I don't know how to show it.
Sometimes my thoughts are quite messed up, and I don't know what to do or how to do things.
I'm a broken person; into millions of little pieces but when I say that I have feelings for you, know that my soul is every little bit yours.
Know that my body will not say no to you.
Know that even if I'm messed up to the bone, I still hope and even to myself that I'm a good person.

She lies awake
in the middle of the night,
wondering what her life was for.
She could almost hear her heart,
through her chest
after days and days of waiting,
for it to slow down
and suddenly stop
She sleeps below her dreams
where the devil himself,
would be too scared to see
and where no soul wishes to stay.

I've made a decision, a decision I am very proud of;

because all of my life I've been betrayed by everyone I've ever loved
and everyone that was given the keys to my home

my body is my home, and boys oh so foolish
want a hotel stay for one night
but I won't let them

my heart is my home, and people
want to find refuge, calling themselves lovers, friends...
knowing it is a safe place with walls built up very high
walls they brought down
and walls that I can't build back up

my shoulders are a home, holding my head steady
and people want to land on my shoulders
making it heavier for me to breathe
They know it's a safe place to land and cry on

But you know something?
I'm nobody's territory, nobody's home
nobody's home but myself
and nobody will take care of me like I do them
Nobody will build back my walls
and nobody will let the roses grow back
after they've stepped on them.

So I've decided to kick my residents out,
for renovation
to clean my windows, and change my locks
build my walls back up, minute by minute
and vein by vein grow my garden
and to close the gates now and forever
for I'm the only one allowed to reside here

my world has spun around you as its orbit for way too long
i choose to distance myself day after day for my own sanity
as you have woven so many parts of me and it became way too hard to untangle
so i choose to leave them messy
a reminder of the love that turned into self damage
i’ll weave them together slowly and with time
thread by thread
weft and warp
it will not look the same as it has once before

i choose to distance myself from this love,
to heal from the pain it has cost me

as the world stops to spin and revolve around you
i find, slowly, happiness i’ve missed
i know there was happiness and that there will be more of it
as my heart gets woven back again into the pieces i thought i had lost

Maybe it is my fault,
Maybe I started a fight
Maybe I did
But you know, I've had enough
I'm bad at all sorts of things
Friendship is one of them
But caring isn't
I care too much
Too deeply
Sometimes too much for my own good
Listen,
I'm glad I was there, not anymore
I tried to stand for you
But how can you stand for someone when you can't stand for yourself?
And how can you stand for someone when they don't want you to?
Maybe I had an eye opener.
So long but never goodbye
I am always here for you

STRENGTH WILL FIND YOU SOONER THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT IT WOULD


With the love
I am overwhelmed
For the support
I am eternally grateful

Today is one of the days
when the night early, gets heavy on me.
And Today is one of those days when I just want to give up on everything
It was hard to get out of bed today, it was hard.
It was hard to work and work well
It was hard to smile to taxi drivers and keep conversations going
Because today I was stuck in my own brain
stuck in an endless conversation with myself.
And you know today is not the day to mess with me
Today is not the day to challenge me or encourage me
or mess with my emotions
I will be wreck, and I will cry, and I will scream and break glass

So please just don't make me feel worse than I already do.

I've written this a thousand times
And I'd tell you more about it
There's a kind of serenity here
When the day ends
And darkness starts to set over the coloured sky
There's a kind of peace in darkness
And knowing that in the dark
We all look the same
But we don't feel the same

There are some long night and talks
On rooftops with wine and cold breeze
There are salty neck kisses and beer
Laughter and sand filled shoes
Stargazing in the trunk of your car, on a mountain top blankets and tears filling my eyes
When my heart was just not enough

There's a whole new world for me and you
When the world we know in daylight gets silent


Coffee at midnight and cigarettes
I say I've stopped a hundred times
But death is a reality, closer to me thank you think
My love

Red red wine
for attraction
And whiskey
for lonely tears

And there are sunrises;
Beautiful colors and the cold breath of the wind
Sending shivers through my bones
And let me tell you
Sunrises are beautiful
Because very few get to enjoy them
And when it's over
That's when my body asks me
To silently drift away
To make way for the better and stronger

our bed has turned in an ice cold battlefield
as the days pass
and our hearts grow more distant
we start to slip off slowly
into nonchalant habits
that lack all sorts of love that we had

and even if
any of us could have opened the door
left to seek no return
we haven't yet

so many times did you try
not intending to leave

but when i ask you to leave
you stand at the door half openhalf closed
looking at me
like the world just crumbled down your feet

leave me,
and the monsters in my head alone.

leave me,
we're both too messed up
to be together
to be in love

oh but honey we are

the screaming and fighting
made us want to throw things at each other
but never did
we're not violent
and each time it was over
you'd touch me slowly
as if
trying to heal me
as if touching my wounds
as if
as if you scratched me
with a red red rose's thorn

so now you're standing at the door
one foot in and one foot outside
and in your eyes a question;
'do you really want me to go?'

and as i sit on the floor
i whisper with tears in my eye
and a sting in my throat
'why won't you leave me?'

I once read somewhere something I relate to very much:

Us depressed children don’t think we csn make it till 18. Some of us do and some of us don’t.

And for us who do, it’s a bit weird because we haven’t planned for what’s to come after that.

And do you have any idea how scary that is?

It’s terribly terrifying.

I recently turned 21 and it is still as terrifying as ever.
Every day we get is another chance, another accomplishment for us.
Every time we get out of bed a rush of pride goes through our veins.

It’s hard to go on, but I promised to hold on
and I am
I hold on because that’s the strength
Giving up is not an option

But my god is it hard!
To feel nothing at all and pretend to taste the tenderness and biterness of life
To eat because you have to
To go out trying to snap out of it
To try and find passion in what you do and what you love
And mostly try to fall in love
Because you don’t really know how anymore

But some of us meet someone who will hold them in the middle of the night
and ignite something that was no longer there
As if in the fraction of a second
Someone found an on switch to your feelings
and everything started to rush in again

and it feels weird, because you don’t really know how feelings work anymore
but you try
and that’s the most important part

Captivity is a state in which I guess we all live in
Have lived in
Or will live in.

Captivity may be holding the key to open the door but never quite taking that step.

Captivity may be having the door open,
one foot out,
Without the guts to put the other one out
And closing the door behind you.

Captivity is not like being claustrophobic in an elevator
It’s sometimes the best feeling in the world.
The best, it’s a feeling of peace,
Love,
And maybe overlooking some of the most important things
And your vision is a little blurred

Until you leave, close the door behind you
Give it time
Look back on it

You’ll see things,
The things you’ve overlooked,
You’ll learn a little,
Look a little older
Be a little wiser.

But something you must understand,
Is to never, EVER
Let anyone hold you captive.
You must always feel free to open the door
and leave

This time, another heartbreak
not my first, certainly not my last
I decided to let go of the man who let me go
I have learned time after time, you cannot force anyone to love you

I have tried many times, and failed endlessly.

Love is not something you control
You wish you could but if the feelings fade away
They are not going to spark up again

Do not get your hopes up, the spark will not be present
The spark has faded
It is no longer a burning flames
But ashes to dust

The first rule of improv, is to say YES
Don’t block the flow or rythm

Don’t say no to the opportunity
To make something out of nothing
To create something beautiful

Look at it this way,
If you say no,
You’re closing the door
To a new friendship
To a new flame
To a new job
A new adventure

Don’t close the door,
To what may become
Something great,
Something bad,
A new experience,
A new lesson

Give yourself a chance

It takes a long time, for many
to find it okay to ask for help
For as long as we’re alive
It’s not too late to say
Mama I’m struggling
It’s not too late to say
I stay up way too late
And think way too much

It’s not too late
to stay my heart burns and my chest feels like it’s gonna explode
that I can’t breathe in a crowded room
that my hands shake when I talk in public

It’s not too late to say,
I think life is not for me
Because I think life is for everybody
You just have to be reminded
You just have to be reminded that you have a hand to hold when it shakes
And someone to sit with you
Remind you that you can breathe
And breathe with you
A familiar face in the crowd
To make you feel safe

december 9th 1996
a rainy rainy day

but when i turned 22
everything was clam
everything was okay

tangled between the sheets
our bodies wrapped around each other
we smell like shampoo and feel like cotton pyjamas

when i turned 22 there was nothing but love surrounding me
a feeling of weightlessness
a feeling of joy

when i turned 22
we were sitting outside
with nothing but the city lights to clear our sights
and the stories kept coming
your childhood and ex lovers
your trips and adventures
while the music plays on in the background

when i turned 22 i had love on my side
and a hand holding mine

Patience
2. Gratitude
3. Anger Management
4. Love
5. Faith
6. Anxiety Relief
7. Asking for help
8. Hard work
9. Perseverance
10. Forgiveness
11. Turning a blind eye
12. Trust
13. Sleeping with one eye open
14. Living guilt free
15. Fighting off the voices in my head
16. Self-worth
17. Grace
18. Respect
19. Honesty
20. My versions of Right
21. And Wrong

Nobody has the right to put their hands on you unless you give them the right to

Your body, your property
It’s that easy actually

However you define yourself to be, man or woman
anyone
I repeat,
Nobody has the right to put their hands on you unless you give them the right to

Nobody has the right to feel entitled to to your body, but you
Nobody has the right to define you
whoever you may be

Here’s to you

I know, there are so many of you, like you

Who felt violated in their own body
Who felt the sting of words
The sharp double edged sword of them

You, who didn’t let the thiefs in but that’s why we call them that
the criminals who leave you traumatized

They might not have killed but they wounded to the core

A reminder:
It is not your fault.
It‘s not your fault whatever you wear
It’s not your fault however you walk
It’s not your fault

It’s theirs.

Don’t stay silent. Fight.

I may be the person who cries the most.
In sadness and in happiness
In funerals and weddings.

I may be sensitive but sometimes, cold as stone

I will feel deeply or be completely indifferent
Rarely in the middle
Little grey area
A complete opposition of the person I am

Mama taught me to be kind
Mama taught me to respect
Mama taught me to love
Mama taught me to fight

That's the kind of woman I want to be*

Woman,
Be strong.
This world is a tough place to be in
Not everybody can handle
the way your eyes burn bright
with hopes and dreams

Be resilient
you’ll have to fight
to get what you deserve

When everybody tells you
to stop doing things like a girl
Don’t feel shame
You’re a girl
Who does things like a girl
the way you’re supposed to

Woman,
Don’t be oil in the machinery
Be the tiny blockage
That stops the way this world works
That makes them think of what is wrong
That changes their behavior towards us

That screams for all girl’s education
Because knowledge is power
And we all deserve equal power

Against **** culture
Because our body is ours and only ours
And nobody has the right to touch us without our permission

Against glass walls and glass ceilings
Racism and discrimination

My heart is with all my women out in the world
My mama, and the other half of the global population
Soldiers and fighters
Women who will not be silenced by anything
by the shameful stares directed towards them

To be a woman is not easy
In more ways than one
But we stand tall

We stand with each other, for each other
That’s the kind of women we should aim to be

It’s what we talk about
whisper about.
It’s what we sing about
and cuss about
It’s what we laugh about,
cry about,
lie about.
It’s what makes us feel the most joy
the most pain.

Yet the word itself scares us to the bone
Because saying something out loud,
Makes it a little more real

I want you to see me in a pretty dress
something that’ll please you
or a high bun that I put down
I think that’ll tease you

hey baby
i want you on your worst behavior

Tangled up with tea cups in our hands
It’s cold outside
This is what addiction feels like

The comfort of home in a person
Something I keep on craving

For some of you, this might seem crazy
But two kinds of people understand me

Lovers,
And pill poppers

The anxious wait,
By the phone or the bottle

Turning away and spinning in circles in a room with no windows

This is what addiction feels like

And if you’ve recovered at all
And you’re trying to stay away,
The mere thought is temptation.

So when temptation is at your door
Or on the phone
Or a prescription bottle
You hesitate
Not knowing if you should open the door
or close it for good
Answer the phone with a shiver in your voice
Or say ‘just one more, I promise it’s the last time’

But for us addicts, it’s a vicious circle that grows more powerful with each relapse

And it’s never the last time

There’s a traveler
Who went far away
Who ran away from everything he ever knew
Who thought he’d find something new

A backpack and a lot of hope
He came back with a couple stories

He said to me;
People laugh and people cry
All in the same way
People love and people hate
All in the same way
People hurt and people heal
All in the same way

From Mumbai to Beirut
Paris to New York
South Africa to Sydney

The language may differ,
The color of our eyes may not be same,
The color of our skin may just as well turn green or blue
The sun may rise at different times

But under skin and bone
We’re all the same

And he looks at me vaguely
For a few seconds quietly
And he asks me,

So why’d you think it’s so hard for us to admit we feel the same

‘Please don’t be in love with someone else,
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you’

It terrifies me to say,
that I’m terrified
You’d fall
For someone else

It terrifies me,
That her eyes
Speak louder than mine

And I’ll hold on
to everything you say
And I’ll capture every moment you stay

Don’t let go,
To find someone else who’s better than me
To hold you close
And make you feel like the whole world’s stopping now

I will hold you through the dark
and if you choose the way out

I’ll pack my things and go
But I’ll hold you close
Until I find
Someone else

Nothing felt much different, until the day before
His touch felt the same and so did his kisses.
He still smelled and smiled the same but nothing was really quite the same to him

My foolish self
making jokes about him leaving me to my friends
I didn’t know what I was getting myself into
It didn’t think about it twice
not even once.
I gave it no importance
or tried not to

My anxiety was sparking
to the thoughts of good news
good ideas
good thoughts only
This good kind of anxiety
The anticipation
But nothing was quite the same

When people ask me,
how long I’ve been writing
I tell them the same story

I was 6 years old, and a friend got me a little notebook

My first thought in it, was in French, about how easy the language was.

I was so excited to see my thoughts on paper. Something concrete, visual, that made you feel something

For the past 15 years, I’ve made language my own.
Wrote about first crushes and how hard it was to be 9.
An later on 10, 12, 15, 18, 19 and 20

I fell in love with the smell and sound of Bic on paper
The idea that my thoughts were now real and immortal.

I fell in love with language and how one word can mean different things.
I fell in love with the only thing that came easy to me, words

I was 6 years old and said. Language is the most beautiful thing ever.
I may be 90 years old and say
Language is the most beautiful life I’ve ever lived

Second day
A hazy day
The thought crosses my mind
Then stops
Comes and goes in flashes
A few tears crept their way to my eyes
But the day passed

Mama held me close that night
As I wept and she caressed my hair
She let me cry
She didn’t say a word
She was there
The way she always is
Thank you mama

Change is not a bad thing
We must change,
Adapt,
Or die

The thing is, we rarely consider
that we cannot stay the same person forever
That evolving is a part of who we are

Our skin sheds to be replaced by new skin,
Change is within us.

Friends will leave to go on their own
and you will do the same

Everybody’s flame must run out
and life will not be the same without them

You will grow, change, forget and your flame will run out.

But how will you be remembered?

A cat got up,
Stuck in a tree

Didn’t realise how high it has gotten
It stands on a branch
Looking down
Too scared to come down

When help comes,
It becomes hesitant,
It doesn’t know;
To jump?
Or not to?

To let itself fall?
Or not to?

Because sometimes,
Help,
Is not as easy to take

I wanted to go for a drive
Something familiar to us
Something we shared for a year and half
Laughter, sing alongs
and all kinds of stories

I though maybe in that moment I could change his mind
show him who we are, or at least a part of us
Something that reminds us of our good days

What was I thinking?
I couldn’t tell you.
We talked. I felt myself agreeing.
Did I really?
Not at all

We left on a hug
I thought I was okay.

Something started feeling wrong
the anticipation turned into what i dread most
anxiety

He walks in my room
with a lost look on his face
right then I knew

He sat on the couch,
He did not kiss me,
He did not touch me.

My hands were shaking
An elephant sat on my chest,
right then I knew
although I wish I didn’t

In a second, the words came out of his mouth
He didn’t want to be with me anymore
I didn’t know I would feel my heart break the way I did
And in silence,
the tears started to slide down my cheeks
It was the heaviest my heart had felt in years
I could not breathe
I heard him
but I didn’t want to

I suddenly heard myself asking;
Was it my fault?
Why am I not good enough?

It doesn’t have to rhyme to say something
or make you feel something

If we have the words for it,
then why not just say it?

That night, I could not get any sleep
I think he slept like a baby

That day my tears carved a hole under my eyes
I looked the way I felt
trying to go on with a day I didn’t want to be living

He took his jacket and my heart with him.
I tried to get my mind off it

Everyone told me to surround myself with people I loved
That day, there was nothing I wanted more than to have him next to me
That day I didn’t believe it would be better
That day I did not believe that anyone loved me

Watery eyes, blurred vision
I didn’t want anything
Food felt like an obligation
That day I did not have to fake a smile
I wasn’t expected to

I was held close by the people I love and the ones who love me
I realize that today