there was beauty, love, fire, stillness, and i gave it all to you
you put both of your hands around my neck
had a grip on me like your favorite coffee mug
mouths never moved, just trembled

when you went home, your "i love you" started sounding like an apology
now every car crash sounds like the last time i heard you say my name

I started missing you today
I usually don't miss people because missing people is weird and sad
and I already have enough negativity in my head
when you whisper hello
and make me turn my head
and remind me
Then I get this ticking sound in the back of my head
and I keep telling my feet it's time to turn around
but then I remember
that even if I started walking
I would never find you
and then the itch comes back
and the tick turns into a beat
then I realize its a mix of my heartbeat
and me repeatedly punching the wall or my head
maybe if I could feel that'd clear that part up
and I remember the questions
I needed to ask you about math class
and I remember your little sister
telling me that you had a crush on me
and to keep it a secret
and I remember the swing set we pushed her on
and the only thing I can't remember is
when you told me you loved me
but I know you did
because I told you I loved you too
and I still do love you
and I know I should remember that
above everything else but I don't
and I'm sorry
I'm so sorry for everything
I'm sorry I didn't help you cheat on that test
and I'm sorry I didn't save you a seat at lunch that one time
and I'm sorry I forgot to study with you the other night
and I'm sorry I let you walk home because I was mad at you
and I'm sorry I let that car be the last thing to kiss you

t.w

your mind is a forest, and i
want to carve my initials
onto every tree

I have forgotten how this works
How people can form sentences
Of beauty, of magic
I'm not sure how to transform my words
And fill a blank paper with words
That gets heavy

The blank paper is much more beautiful
In some way I guess...
But the filled paper is worth much more
The filled paper is full of truth
Of honesty
Of guilt
Of pain
Of passion
Of heartache
Of bubbly feelings
Of sad mornings
Of terrible nights

All I can think about is you
I think I haven't written anything
Or to correct myself
I think that I haven't been able to write
Because I'm scared that it will turn out
To be another stupid poem about
Love

I don't need more of those
I'm fine
Thank you