Since I was in 7th grade
I had a thing for girls
That is when I knew..
I was gay
Oh it was such a day

    One day I told my mom
      But in the end it was like a bomb
        That just wouldn't go away

           Then I told my dad
             He denied it
                Then he said to me
                  The bible says Adam and Eve
                    Not Adam and Steve


-I am proud to be gay/lesbian, because I am me.

Home is somewhere safe
Somewhere you can go to
When you’re sad
When you need help
When you need anything

When at home
You shouldn’t feel misery
Not the want to leave
Not where you should feel..
Unloved

Home is the only thing
You can depend on forever
Until the floor falls out from you..
Until the walls cave in..
With nobody there to save you

You'd think if you're at home
Your family would save you
Not in this case
In this case they're the reason..
The reason everything caved and crashed

The reason you're scared to go home
The reason you trust nobody,
But most importantly
The reason you push people away
Because your own family hurt you

You push others away because you..
You don't want to get attached
Have to go through a new loss
or, just the exact opposite..

Cling
You try to hold on to something so tight
show your love so hard
Confide in somebody that you think is trustworthy
All just to fill a void.
All just to feel the love that isn’t provided at home.

To me
    You are the moon
        You know me better
            Than anybody
               You know me inside
                 And out
                   Yet you still stay
                      I tell you anything
                      And everything
                      You are one i won’t
                      Lie to
                      You see me
                      For me
                      I have grown attached
                     Not on purpose
                   I know it's wrong
                  I try to change
               My feelings
           You are one i can't lose
         You understand
       But most importantly
     You help me
   When i feel nobody can

When you hear about death
You assume accidents
Especially as young as i am
You never consider ******
Or even suicide

Inside me there is a silent killer
I call it depression
I may smile and laugh with friends
But at night suicide is all i think about

I am my own enemy
My thoughts are my own enemy
I take showers because that
Is my safe place to cry

I take baths at the hottest temperature
To numb my body, make physical pain go away
Mental and emotional pain, always finds a way to stay
Feels like i can never get away

If you read my name in the paper for death
It would be suicide
You would be shocked
You’d never imagine, if you didn’t know my life

I have fundraised for cancer patients
I have met with mayors
I am known in Amarillo
I have done so much for the community

My problem is
I worry about helping others before myself
I always put myself last
Never ever first

To my parents i'm only concerned with myself
I never think about others
They never change their perspective
Only criticise
I have my own silent killer, and it will come soon.