i am not my body.
my soul is too big to fit inside it.
i have left my body many times
looking for a home for my soul.
i tried to fit it inside other bodies
inside someone else's soul
only to get bruised and breathless.
i tried leaving my soul in places
but then
when i left
i ended up missing it
so i brought my soul back to my body.
it knows it is not its home
but it is the only home i know.
every now and then
i let it go
and it visits the stars.

you are loved.
not because of who you will be.
not because of what you can do.
not because of your looks.
not because of your talents.
not because of your circumstances.
but because you are here,
but because you are light,
but because you are brave,
but because you are important,
but because you exist,
but because of your heart.

don't hide your face.
don't hide your heart.
don't hide your soul.
don't keep who you are
all to yourself.
let the world see you,
let them see the wonderful
creation that you are.
let them marvel at the
admirable light that shines
inside of you, darling.
don't keep your beauty
and wonder to yourself.
share your brave heart,
show your kind spirit and
your gentle beauty.
but don't keep the ugly inside.
don't keep your doubts and
your fears and your sadness
to yourself.
don't drown in your sorrows
and your tears.
don't bottle yourself up.

don’t run away from the pain,
because it is yours just as much
as hope is.
learn from it and grow,
for it is part of your story.

one of these days you'll see me
smiling at the sun,
running freely in a meadow, picking flowers
and placing them on my hair.
one of these days you'll find me
writing my story in the sky,
singing the song of my
freedom and redemption.
one of these days i'll be
dressed in bravery and gold,
with fireworks in my eyes
and truth written on my skin,
with the taste of joy on my tongue
and bliss in my footsteps
because i will be free and
brave and carefree and hopeful
one of these days.

i am standing in front of you
and you don’t see me
i am the moon and stars
but you only see the night
i am the poetry in songs
but you don’t pay attention to my music
and then
you wonder
why i hide
from you
why my voice turns into silence
when you pass by

my love is a four year-old
on chocolate milk and cake
running way too much, way too fast,
giving way too much, way too fast.
it has the scrapes and bruises to show for it.
i have tried to put it to bed early,
to sing it lullabies
and read to it stories,
hoping for peace.
but my love goes to preschool,
where they teach it to write poems
and sing nursery rhymes.
in art class,
it spends the hour making paper hearts,
giving each one away and not keeping one to itself.
in music class,
my love learns to sing along with other hearts.
on the report cards,
the teachers write that my love is impatient,
and it raises its hands too much,
wanting to give all the answers,
not afraid of being wrong.
the teachers tell me that math is not my love’s strong suit,
that it mixes up its numbers
and always shares more than what it has.
but they also tell me that my love
gives away all its snacks,
that it is an expert at holding hands,
at looking out for others and making friends.
the teachers tell me not to worry,
that a love like mine is gifted,
that when it is older it will change the world.
i tell them that i worry that my love is too much,
but they tell me that it is just enough.

si alguna vez
llegas a leer un poema,
ojalá me leas a mí.
ojalá encuentres la poesía que se esconde en mi cuerpo,
en mis ojos que riman, en mis pies que solo saben bailar,
ojalá encuentres la poesía que se esconde en las curvas de mis labios
y en la canela de mi piel.
si alguna vez llegas a leer un poema,
ojalá me leas a mí,
ojalá encuentres las palabras escritas en mi piel,
y veas como mis ojos deletrean la palabra
‘luz’
y como mis manos hablan de arte
y como mi corazón canta de valentía y esperanza
y si alguna vez llegas a leer un poema,
ojalá sea yo.

your words
can set the world on fire
your words
make the sun shine brighter
your words
turn the ocean bluer
your words
water a dry heart
your words
make flowers grow
your words
bring hope.
your words
inspire.
your words
matter.

un día maybe papi
will see me
will not tell me que cambie esa cara
understand that i only have one
and that he gave it to me
un día maybe papi
will brew us some coffee
hot enough to break el hielo we both put in there
un día maybe papi
will listen to my silence
understand that there are words in it too
will stop pulling out
palabras que no pueden salir
un día maybe
mis palabras tendrán color
they will be like a river that i cannot stop from flowing
un día maybe i will write him a poem
and it will be in a book
un día maybe papi
will not have to ask me to speak up
un día maybe
papi querrá bailar conmigo
un día, maybe.

i am not the remains
of what you left.
i am whole.
i was not left to die.
i am alive, thriving.
i am the flowers that grew from your rain.

stars burn out
leaves fall
flowers wilt
time fades
but You're not leaving
You won't fail me
You remain.

i have never written you a poem.
this is a song long overdue.
i love you
i love you
i love you.
i love you because you love
because without you
i could not love.
you are my needle and thread
the milk and honey
that feeds these bones
the bread and wine of this soul.
you are the home of my words
you are the teacher of my hands
you tell them to hold other hearts gently
you tell them to hold on
you tell them to let go.
you sing to me every morning
you sing me alive
you sing to me
i love you
i love you
i love you.

inspired by e.e. cummings’s 'into the strenuous briefness’

how many hellos
has the earth heard?
how many beautiful beginnings
has she seen?
how many roses has she bloomed,
and how many of them have been gifted?
how many hellos
have given way to friendship and
love,
how many of them have turned into light?
she keeps them all,
the roses and hellos,
turns them into poems
and turns them into time,
sunrises and sunsets,
beginnings and farewells,
you and me
in between it all.

you are not afraid of being,
of feeling, of living
what you are.
and you don't live life; she lives you.
you are color, you are joy.
you don't hide,
you are in the midst of everything,
between yellow flowers, red roses
and pink sunsets.
you are in the waves of the sea,
dancing and swimming
in waters of grace.
you are in the stars,
you are in the sun,
you are in the light.

you are light and grace
and the stars wish upon themselves
to shine like you.

i want to cry until i become an ocean
until the rivers of salt tears wash me clean
i want to be free
and i don’t want to feel so alone
i want to untangle the knot in my throat
i want flowers to live on the edges of my soul
i want to fall in love
with a pair of eyes
that fall in love with mine
and i don’t want to feel so alone
so unworthy of love
and i want a song
a song for me
and i want to breathe without it hurting
i don’t want love to feel
so far away
i want rain to fall and wash away the pain
and i want the words
for everything i am feeling
and i don’t want to feel so alone
i want poetry written for me,
love letters and late-night texts
and i don’t want to feel so alone

i straightened my hair today
for the first time in three weeks.
my mother was happy
but i was not.
--
last night
she said,
i know you're an artist,
pero no andes como una loca.
don't go around looking like a crazy person.
--
i kept touching my hair today.
missing the stray curl that stayed behind my left ear.
missing the space my hair used to take up,
wild and free.
feeling smaller.
in a body that was not my own.
--
this hair, mami,
does not belong to an artist,
y no es de locas.
es mío; con él nací.
in it i carry the waves
that carry me
that carried the bones
of my ancestors all the way here.
--
these curls, mami,
they are big enough to hold me,
to hold all that i am.
they are a garden in which beauty grows.
they are rivers that lead to the ocean.

my name is gabriela
but most days
i don’t fit in these eight letters
some days
my name is poetry
my name is flower
my name is wild curls
my name is i am so filled with joy
that if i were a cloud it would rain for years
and some days
my name is sadness
my name is hello, love, come find me because i am tired of looking for you
my name is ocean
my name is feelings i have no words for
my name is the songs that make me cry
my name is when do i get a turn
but most days
my name is gaby
my name is the sweetness of these four letters
my name is honey and cinnamon and coffee
my name is gabriela

you
stars in my sky,
wishes come true
you
wildflowers unafraid of growing,
making the world beautiful just by being
you
poetry alive,
flying verses, walking rhymes
you
your laughter makes rain fall
seeds grow flowers and hope bloom
you
are the spring
i am just happy i get to be close to
you

you are
outstanding and
unique, a work of

art. You are as
radiant as the sun, your beauty is
enchanting, and you are

lovelier than any
orchid or lily or tulip or rose or
violet, and
even though you might not see yourself as such, you are a
d**iamond, you are beautiful, and you are loved.

other people’s words
made my words seem small
but my words are mine
my words are special
my words are mine
my words have threads
of my soul woven into them
my words are mine
my words have my fire
my words are mine
my words are beautiful
my words are mine
my words come from my heart
my words are mine
my words have my love
my words are mine
my words share my story
my words are mine
my words share my struggle, my fight
my words are mine
my words come from my lips
my words are mine
my words come from my hands
my words are mine
my words have my fingerprints on them
my words are mine
my words can’t be told by anyone else
my words are mine
my words can’t be written by anyone else
my words are mine
my words don’t belong to anyone else
and i'll sing it from the rooftops
and shout it from the mountaintops
that my words are mine,
my words are mine,
my words are mine.

instructions on opening the heart:
whisper to it.
tell it you love it.
it will believe you, eventually.
sing to it.
until it is no longer afraid of your voice.
tell it about the world.
how it is graceful and beautiful and kind.
how the wildflowers grow.
tell it about this day.
how it is waiting for you.
how wonder calls your name.
tell it about love.
how it has been asking for it,
waiting for it,
homeless.

my mother
does not love me in poems
in songs
(the way i know how)
but she loved me in phone calls
and breakfast
and new clothes in december
she loves me in doctor's appointments
and orange juice
and prayer
(the way she knows how)
and i will love you like this too
i will love you like my mother
and i will love you like me
i will love you in poetry
in words
in forehead kisses and long hugs
i will braid the words 'you are loved' in your hair
and i will kindle the fires inside you
i will wish upon the stars in your soul
i will love you in dreams
i will love you in ways i cannot tell
but i will love you

i am magic.
i am the night sky and every single star,
i am the ocean and every ripple and wave.
i am a house of flesh and bone,
of hope and freedom.
i am a bird,
wild and free,
i am everything i dream of being.
i am a song,
a song of bravery and love,
of light and gold.
i am a voice that is not unheard;
my words are not shouted off into a void.
i am my heart, my words, my love.
i am known,
i am loved.

see me
the way i
see myself
with the waves of the sea
in my hair
and their song in my swaying hips
see me
the way i
see myself
with flowers growing
in my soul
see me
the way i
am

this day is yours
to love
to hope
to make beautiful things
to laugh
to start again
to make it what you want it to be
don't believe it is too late
to dream new dreams
to fall in love again
to wish upon a star
to be who you are

do your eyes still shine
like two stars in the sky?
do they still close
every time you smile?
what song is your soul singing?
what blooms grow in your garden?
are you found?
or are you still lost?
if you are, know
i'll always wait for you.

i stopped being the rain
and the sun
that gave you life
and i turned into wildflowers

loving you teaches me
i still have a lot to learn.
about love:
how it learns to bend under the weight
of shortcomings.
how forgiveness holds it all together.
about you:
how i do not know you entirely.
how every day is like meeting you for the first time.
about me:
how i am the best of me when i'm with you.
how my heart grows with the passing of time.

i’ll live in a yellow house
painted by the sun itself
a house that stands on the corner of
Joy Street and Sunshine Avenue
and in my house a garden will grow
with flowers watered with hope, rooted in love.
my yellow house will be the talk of the town
and children will come on their bikes
to meet the woman that keeps flowers in her hair
and a few stars in her eyes,
the woman that wears dresses with pockets
filled with honey and cinnamon.

i have learned to measure time
in wednesdays
in laughter
in the smiles we shared together
in midnight text messages
in chocolate chip cookies from Subway
and croquetas
i have learned to measure time
in poetry and coffee cups
in stories and hugs
in plays and words read
but mostly
i have learned to measure time
in the moments we’ve been together
in the moments i've felt loved
they say time flies
but like this, to me
time is infinite

do you know how many
people walk their way
through life never wanting
to be more than what they
are, never giving their selves
the chance to open their
hearts and be bold and
risk it all? do you know
how many people don't
write the stories they want
to share, the poems they want
to write, the songs they want
to sing, the art they want
to make? do you know how
many people deny their selves
the opportunity to be brave, the
chance to be bold, to live in
bright colors instead of black
and white? do you know how
many people live in a cage,
afraid to love, afraid to live,
afraid to hope, afraid to feel,
afraid to be? do you know
how many people don't let
their souls be vulnerable and
beautiful and wonderful? i
hope you're not one of them.

enterraron tus huesos,
pero no lo que había dentro de ellos.
enterraron tus huesos,
pero no te enterraron,
no pudieron enterrar tu luz, ni tu amor,
ni la historia que tu vida contó.
no te enterraron,
no pudieron enterrar tu risa,
tu canción,
los recuerdos que guardan aquellos que te aman.
enterraron tus huesos,
pero no te enterraron,
no pudieron enterrarte
porque tú no estás ahí,
en esas casas de tierra.
tú estás en los corazones de los que te amaron,
en los rostros de tus hijos,
en los ojos de tus nietos.
tú estás en las palabras que dijiste,
en los lugares que tocaron tus pies.
tu estás
en todas partes.

there are things
you think you know
but when the words come
from somebody else
their truth
(your truth)
becomes unwavering

you are here.
hold on to this moment. there is a poem, here.
and at the same time, there isn’t. there is so much more.
this is a moment in which words are not enough.
here lies every moment, every breath, every joy and every hurt:
all that it took for you to be here.
here is love.
the love of your family, your friends, your self.
here is hope.
it was the sun that kept you alive, the roots that kept you grounded, the rain that made you grow.
here is a small moment.
and yet, it is meaningful.
because you are in it.
here.

don't let me forget my smallness.
remind me that without you
i am nothing, i have nothing,
that everything beautiful in me
comes from you
that my soul,
my words
belong to you.
don't let a day go by
without me thinking of you,
talking to you,
wanting to hear your voice.
draw me closer.

you were every color
of every rainbow
you turned into every star in my sky
you were the sun
i danced around
and i was the moon
to your earth
gravity couldn’t hold me down
or keep me away from you

i dream of new york city.
but not only new york city.
i dream of chicago, of san francisco, of madrid;
i dream of any city big enough to hold me
and the wildness i carry.
i dream with a love greater than myself,
a love big enough to wrap me in its arms,
a love with grace to forgive my faults.
i dream of the words 'you're beautiful'
sang to me like a song, written in love letters,
tangled in poetry.
i dream of breakfast dates, of long walks,
of sweet and salty lips together.
i dream of finding myself
of getting lost
and the joy of being found again,
i dream of the words i have yet to write,
the stories i will tell,
the days i don't know.

i just want
to be with You,
to be alone,
to walk with You
and to hear the
gentle whisper
of your voice.

do not fear the rain when it comes
and do not fear when it goes away
don’t be afraid of the waiting
don’t be afraid of the tears
when they decide to fall
don’t be afraid to feel
to wallow in the grief.
let yourself pause.
listen to your heart.
gardens don’t grow in a day.

about seventeen years ago,
i prayed you into existence.
i asked for a baby sister;
got you instead.
you are not what i wanted,
but know this: you are wanted.
i am six years older,
but you are always six steps ahead.
when you laugh, and your eyes light up,
i am six again
and you are young and playful and you.

girls don't stay little
forever
and time doesn't come
back
and my love is not a library book
you can return when
you're done with it
or when you start reading it
and you don't like the words inside

if you think
love is
someone else
if you think
love is
quoting poetry
if you think
love is
flowers on valentine's day
think again.
if you think
love is
waiting for someone to see you
if you think
love is
a kiss
if you think
love is
only there when you are good
think again.
love is
you.
love is
writing love letters and poems to yourself.
love is growing flowers on your garden.
love is seeing and knowing yourself.
love is not a kiss
and love isn't only there when you are good.
love sees you and your brokenness
and love loves it
and love loves you
and love is you.

i wish you well.
every joy.
all the words. may you turn time into poems. into stories. to keep forever.
i wish you rain.
growth. spring.
summer.
a kiss.
light. may you always trust the path before you. even if you cannot see it.
laughter. like a waterfall.
photos. take them. be in them, too.
softness. for the heart, the eyes. the soul.
songs. for every moment. for when there are no poems.
airplanes and coffee shops and places.
friendships. silver and gold.
letters. for you, from you.
wisdom. and the learning that comes with it.
the tears, too.
rivers to follow.
and all that hasn’t been yet.

i tried,
but now i know
that i
can't save you.
that i
can't make you
believe that you
are brave and
worthy and
lovely and
capable of
so much more.
i can't
make you
believe in my
words
but i can
write them
and i can
love you
and point you
to the Light
and to the Love
that
saved me.
i can't
save you
but i
can jump
and take
a leap of faith
and follow
freedom and
joy and redemption
and only hope
that you
will be brave enough
to follow me.

i love you con todo my heart
te amo with all my voice
te amo como my favorite song
otra vez and again y otra vez
my love for you es como un garden
growing and growing and growing
mi amor is like el mar
deep and beautiful and wild
my love is un poquito como este poema
broken in pedacitos of spanish and inglés
te amo with all mi corazón
i love you con todo my heart

who are you?
you are the loveliest flower,
the brightest star.
you are a reflection of heaven,
you are a sky on fire.
you are the magic that hides in sunsets,
the glory that lives in sunrises,
you are the beauty that rises from the ashes,
you are brokenness made whole.
you are the lyrics to a melody of hope,
you are fearless,
you are brave,
you are free,
you are who
you are meant to be.

if/when
you choose to reach (for) me
do it because of me
because i am what you want
i am nothing more
than myself
i am a heart that beats in verse
but i am not these poems
i am my skin
a home to my soul
i am not these words
i have tried to become them
but i am more

there was lightning
and thunder
and my windows rattled
and there was so much noise
and the rain was falling outside
but also in my soul
and in the midst of it all
i heard You say,
"don't forget I chose you.
don't forget you're mine.
don't forget you're not in darkness anymore,
but in wonderful light.
don't forget I love you
and that I see you and that I hear you
baby, don't forget you're mine."