The ghost of things
I never  said
keep me up
while I lay in bed.
In the minutes
that come before sleep,
I ask myself why
I never took the leap...
Of all things I am
One of them is not bravery,
in fact, to my demons,
I am in slavery.

we built our friendship
out of whiskey bottles,
bowl packs and friendly *****

porch sitting in the sunshine
and soaking in the laughter and stories
that raced from our lips
one after another
like derby horses darting from the gate

I admit that I still ache
for you,
but I've come to accept
this truth for what it is

so please forgive me if my
words perceive a penned phantom pain
for this life comes in waves
and I can't catch them all,
sometimes I get ****** into the depths,
lured by the undertow

we were in love

i remember you pulling me closely, your hands secure around my waist
you kissed my nose and the butterflys surrounded us
they danced and swayed to the song of our laughter

like the one time when we were walking to the car and it started raining
instead of just jetting to the car you grabbed my hand and said "dance with me."

like that one time you waiting by my window until i would open it,
i still remember that song you played for me
how i just wanted to jump right then and there and let you catch me
you mustve saw it on my face because you laughed and pouted "cant catch you here baby, but we can try"

it wasnt just the feeling of love
it was the feeling of someone caring about you
to no extent
i never understood the concept of love
until i met you
once i did.
back then
once i did.
back when.
once i did
back when u were here
once i did.
now its you i fear
you turned that love into hate
in one simple state ment
the one you left on my doorstep
a goodbye wouldve been better
but i guess the thrill is what always got you huh?
once i did love..
you.

Do you know what kills me more than all the others that walked away?
Your gentle sway and the way the light plays in your bright eyes,
The build of your shoulders and the sound of your sighs.
It puts me to sleep ends my misery ,the way your kissing me
Breaths life back into me, is creating a heaven out of my reality
And breaking my walls down to show me my opportunities.
It moves me closer to my light erupting into flame,
When I watch the way your tender lips -caress around my name.
The feelings I get when I’m so tightly pressed
Against  every sweet smelling inch of your broad lovely chest,
How it takes away breath at the beat of your heart
And  how every “ I love you” left its own mark,
From the first time you said it, when we met at the start.
Mingling nicely with your sunrays spraying sparks,
Your presence  in all when you’re standing so tall
Is so overwhelming, that look in your eyes,
Tells stories of desires and wanting that yearns
The distance between us screams while it burns
And when you walk away, you’ll **** me for sure.

i dont think
That i’ve ever loved you more than when you turned away. and walked out of my life. i never thought that this life was possible but the sound of your voice was my music. a pathetic poet sleeping away memories of better days in a sun bathed bed crying out brilliant ideas. ideas of humid air and sweet tanned skin radiating heat and pool water. simple kisses and rough sheet pulling. strong arms holding a temporary happiness. the words wrapping around intwined bodies. *** passing time proving love. opening eyes to monsters we cant run from.

There are times.
When you stays constantly on my mind.
Not money.
Not work.
Controls it this much.

There are time.
When you occupy my thoughts.
At night.
At morning.
And even noon too.
And I've been told.
I'm stuck in seven days of love.

They state that sunday's when it's the smoothest.
And that monday seems to be the hectic.
While tuesday bring out my coolness.
And that wednesday just falls in between.

I know.
I'm stuck in seven days of love.
Just loving you.
Just loving you.

And when thursday comes.
My love gets more serious.
And friday and saturday was made for us to enjoy.
I know one thing.
I'm stuck in seven days of love.

I can’t sleep,
Thinking of your face.
It keeps me up nights,
When my body aches
And all I want is
Sleep,
Escape.
I can’t sleep,
Thinking of you.
How we used to be.
How we fought,
And I’d be angry.
And I’d grit my
Teeth and swallow
The words like a bitter
Pill you have to take
In the mornings
But really don’t
Want to.
How I refused to
Hold your hand
Or talk or look at
You.
I can’t sleep,
Thinking of that.
Of how you’d gently
Pull apart my fist
And hold my hand in
Your big fingers.
How you would hold
Me even when I didn't
Want you to.
How our bodies fit
Together like mismatched
Puzzle pieces that
Really shouldn’t fit with
Anything at all,
But fit with each other
Somehow.
I can’t sleep,
Thinking of you.
How I hate myself
For missing us.
For wanting all
We had before,
All the madness
And anger and
Hurt.
But all the love
And happiness
And good-feeling
Stuff, too.
I miss that.
I miss you.