Turn myself to stone
to further avoid these feelings
turn my heart cold
to prepare for what's to come
scrape out my insides
make me emptier than I already am
I'm just a hollowed out tool
use me.

I'm selling myself short
giving myself away for free
loneliness knows no price
and if nobody can like me for my thoughts
my personality, my heart
at least they like my body
and how I let them
use me.

Touch me,
it doesn't matter where
and it doesnt matter how
I need to know I'm still alive
so someone touch me now
Shake my hand and say hello
or pat me on the back
kiss me on the cheek
that I may feel this sense I lack
slap my face and pull my hair
make me bleed I just don't care
dig your nails into my skin
so I can feed this need within
I've been numb for such a time
that even pain would be sublime
so touch me, touch me now
I don't care where, I don't care how

I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."

I can still feel you
Like your arms are wrapped around me
And the world still holds a place for me
Like my reason for breathing still has a beating heart
But that's not true
Because I still feel torn apart

The sun will rise again
But I can't face the facts and be ok with you gone
While I'm left here
Still just holding on

You wanted this more badly than I
So I will not leave what you left behind

This love that is growing inside
This thing that will have your deep blue eyes
This baby that in return will just remind of what I lost
You.

I wish i could have just one more chance
To turn back the time
To take one last glance
To have the last dance
With you....

I died today,
But nobody noticed.
It happened so slowly,
The pain was unbearable.
And then it was over,
I died.

*But nobody noticed
They only see the smile.