I could use somebody who would hold me,
When I'm scared to be lonely,
Somebody who would call me,
When I'm thinking why should I be,
Someone who would give me the same love I give away,
I gave so much I don't have any left,
But still I don't live with regret,
I gave it to the people that needed it the most,
But now I could use somebody who would keep me this close.

It's always the same thing,
over and over again,
I could use some pills,
then fade away,
feelin' a bit empty,
when you're not the same,
there's just nothing left to say,
so I keep screaming,
looking in the dark,
hallucinating… dreaming…
with no place to hide,
only the strongest will survive,
others will give up on life,
because of this insane society,
then we end up feelin' we're not the ones that we used to be,
or even wanted to be,
now regretting every piece of it,
livin' life we were dictated,
not the one we wanted to live,
so in the end,
everything is lost,
you & me,
it all comes across,
I watch you as I'm slowly getting more and more lost...

It's funny that we know each other so well,
Yet we still have something new to share,
Never though I would end up this way,
You were always there for me,
The one that would always answer me,
Now I think I found the true meaning,
You look so cute when you're sleeping,
That smile you give me when I kiss you on the cheek,
Lay next to you and go back to sleep,
That's something I would never leave,
If I could I would keep you forever,
Your smile, your lips,
it all comes together,
It's just you my princess,
Nothing is more priceless,
Than the feeling I get when you make me forget,
The world we live in,
together we are singing,
Walking trough heaven and hell,
Holding hands,
what a beautiful day.

And if I die it should not matter,
The words I wrote will speak for me after,
My voice is gone,
My skin torn apart,
Yet still I smile,
I can't breathe, there's no air,
Only selfish beasts,
Come to feast again,
So tear me apart,
Beat me till I can't feel the beat of my heart,
But all I see is her smile,
She's the angel of death,
And she came for me tonight.

The fact that I deal with all this alone,
Is the best and the worst at the same time you know,
I don't need anybody in my life
and I don't need anybody in my life,
That fact kills me more than anything,
I can deal with the issues but who can tell what's real,
If noone stays beside you,
You walk your path, I call you,
But you can't hear me, why could you,
I was never able to speak to anybody nor to you,
So I sit here alone, wonder what time should I make my call,
Death is already on it's way.

I could use a friend who would catch a bullet for me,
I could use a parent that wouldn't abandon me,
I could use all these things while I'm digging this grave,
They say they would **** me for the words I say,
But there's no way,
That I'm still alive after all this pain,
All these sorrows,
No bright tommorrows,
Would you miss me when I'm gone?
Would you cry for me with those beautiful eyes?
Would you tell me that you loved me all this time,
After I can't hear a thing?
After I die?

I wrote a poem,
and she smiled,
I went away,
then she cryied,
wishing I was just a bit stronger,
I can't feel you next to me any longer,
what happened,
was it my fault,
that you broke my heart,
or did you know,
that it would stop,
you were my bottle & pills,
now I need to get my mind clear,
whishing I could just go back,
never created a place for you in my heart,
the way you're looking at me is not the same,
what happend,
this was supposed to have a happy end,
but it all ends up the same,
sure you're not the one to blame,
now holding the bottle & pills again,
look I think that's my grave,
would you throw some roses at me when I'm there,
so I could rest there with no shame?
guees not,
you never liked me anyway.

It always hurts just a little bit,
When they let me down again,
I'm not suprised nor will I pretend,
That I didn't see it coming,
My heart stumbles again and again,
I feel so numb from all this pain,
There were times when I would smile,
Because I was happy with my life,
Those times are long gone,
I have no faith in that I will make it through this night,
I've became such a pesimist,
That I can't see the world as it is.

I don't know how to feel,
What are you saying?
What do you mean?
The only thing I know is, that you stole my heart with your show,
If it was real I can't tell,
Who knows,
Such dark eyes and such beautiful smile,
Please be the one that breaks my heart.

I love you I think you knew,
When I look at you,
When I see the little sparks in your eyes,
I just want you to be forever mine,
It's just so hard to say it,
I worry you won't get it,
That I will scare you away,
Even tho I just want you to stay,
It's so hard to describe it,
When I look at you I think I found it,
The innocent smile you make,
The perfect blush you get,
I just can't stop falling in love with you,
I hope you see it the way I do,
After all you're my darling,
And I will love you till drowning,
I will push you to the dreams you have,
I will make you forget,
Everytime you've been hurt,
Because you gave me a reason to live,
And that's the truth.

Like I don't know if my decisions are right,
I hope that everything won't fall apart,
That I'm right,
Why do I keep breaking hearts,
I don't know if I ever was in love,
I keep falling for these girls,
I keep changing the way I want,
I wish there was some guide,
That I could know that I did right,
I miss all those things that were here at the start,
The funny thing is that I never get really what I want,
It always slips by,
Yea these broken hearts,
I guess I'm not used to be alone anymore,
I wish I was that strong,
I hope you don't know these struggles,
Such a shame that I was never so strong to really get what I want,
I'm so confused now I need some sign,
That finally I'm not wrong,
That I won't change my mind,
The chemistry behind relationships is so dark,
Oh girl why are you so smart,
I hope I won't break your heart,
Because if I will I know I will regret it,
You're still the beacon I've selected,
And without you there’s not much to do,
Not many ways to find out the truth.

You know how to be alone,
My hands are slipping from the Throne.
Ow how i feel alone,
The things i wanted go by,
You will never feel how am i,
These things are blurry on my mind,
Will I ever live to see my kind,
Or will I die?
These questions never dissapear,
Am i the only one to live to see the point,
Or will i die trying to be on front,
These things never dissapear,
My mind goes clear,
What do i want?
What's the point?
If i die nothing happens,
Just another soul will fade to no point,
If i lived for a reason why don't i see it,
Fading forever these reasons,
So be it,
I should live to see another reason.

The things I wanted are now pointless,
Without you I feel like homeless,
Drinkin' till my feelings fade away,
I can't think of any other way,
I don't really want to live like this,
I wanted to be with you,
Have kids,
And else,
You know I make mistakes too,
I can't think of better ending,
Than with you,
The problem is you don't see it that way,
You feel like i have nothing to say,
I miss you,
I miss your voice,
The things we did together,
You were everything I had,
Now without anything it makes sence,
You know life is not always just sunshine,
It gets so dark sometimes,
Holding the knife I once used,
To hold all the issues​ and dark thoughs away,
Should I make me fade away?
Or does it have a end,
I would like to stay,
But I feel like you don't see it my way,
I know I've hurt you,
I lied to you,
But I didn't see back then,
That you were the girl I always wanted to stay,
Now I feel so worthless,
Everything's just useless,
When you ain't there,
I wish it could stay that way,
It once was,
I wish I would get a second chance,
To prove you how much I want you,
How much I adore you,
The things I said weren't fake,
But now you have a boyfriend,
I wish this suffering had a end.

I feel so sad, it haunts me
noone cares, I'm done here
Without you there's just no meaning
in my life, I just stopped breathing
it's so sad, that's my ending
I'm fading...

Hey you're my best friend,
I won't give up on you till the end,
you're the smartest girl I've ever known,
so please don't do everything on your own,
there are some bad times and there are some good,
but I know you're gonna make it through,
even if I should get swallowed by the ground,
I will ******* help you reach that high,
because you would do that for me too,
you know that I'm telling the truth.

When the times are dark,
And you can't decide what's right,
Always remember that you will be forever in my heart,
That I will support you no matter the cost,
That I will be at your side even when the world will crash down,
That you're my little golden treasure,
That I won't let down.

I just remember how things were at the start and it tears me apart,
that we are not the same as we used to be,
that you can't even see,
how much you're being selfish and mean,
you're just lying to yourself and me too,
is it too hard for you to hear the truth?
You all keep saying "I care about you." but even when I scream so loud I can't find you,
in just a few seconds you could be here but you're not so why do I scream?
I think I will be silent for the rest of my days, dead drunk or a ******, what do you say?
I hope they won't forget to judge me, on how I've failed because people are like vultures..
they have to be fed.
It's kinda funny, kinda sad,
that I gave everything to others until there was just nothing left,
didn't get anything more back than a fist full of hate and some pain with a perfect backstab that had to be made,
so be carefull who you love so you won't end up the same,
guess I should go now, beaceuse I'm empty and I'm dead.

This headache it kills me,
Voices that will never leave me,
Wishin' I could take some pill,
Just like you did,
No happy end,
You choked on life just like me,
But you chose to forget,
Left what you wanted to keep,
Now standing alone crying,
In the cold rain where I can hide it,
Burried in the ground,
Under the stars where I couldn't find it,
You rest there, sleeping,
With your eyes closed, weeping,
That you didn't get the chance,
To live trough these nightmares to the happy end.

She's special to me,
She's all that I seek,
I don't know how to deal with it,
How to know if she sees me,
I want to let her know,
But I'm scared, what if I'm wrong
I hope that time deals with it all,
That I will get a sign,
That she's the one,
And that maybe she will accept me,
As who am I,
That she will see some future in the eyes of mine,
As I see in hers,
The eyes are so dark,
So full of life,
Hiding the truth that I have to find out,
I love her smile,
I love when she's around,
I guess I really love her,
I can't think of better life,
Than to be with her,
And her beautiful smile,
Until I'm gone.

Hope Is such a *****,
She always comes then she leaves,
She never stays for one bit,
But who am I to judge her for it,
Now I would like to know,
What will happen in this show,
Where will be tommorrow,
Who will stay close,
Who will bear my sorrow,
I'm sorry I'm not talking,
I just feel like something,
Is in the way to make me say,
What I want to say,
Leaving it to the future,
Creating my own way.

Sorry for all the words unspoken,
Sorry for all the pain awaken,
I didn't mean to do this,
At least not like that,
What the hell happened,
Where is my mind,
I need to go now,
Goodbye.

I acually don't care anymore,
All I hear is nevermore,
Well if I stay alone, nothing terrifies me more,
I think I love you,
And that's the worst,
But I will try to not focus on the words,
If you can tell you should say,
Let me be or always stay,
I'm shutting down my feelings now,
All I do is grind.

Am I adicted?
Could I be different?
I have seen so much **** through these eyes of mine,
So much pain I can never explain,
It's just too much to handle,
I'm suprised I'm still here,
Drinkin' and kickin',
Wish I was different,
Wish I knew how it feels,
To be a normal person in these years,
Guess I will never know,
How happiness tastes in this show,
Life is so overrated,
I feel like there's not much to be excited,
There's too much sorrow,
When you know,
All the things which are wrong,
I must've done something terrible,
In my previous life,
Because I don't know how did I deserve to live this life seeing the world through these cursed eyes.

This world is so crazy,
I don't know what to do lately,
When the things I woud like to do and the things that I do are so diffrent,
I can't see any end,
I have so mixed up feelings about everything,
**** I want to change always stays the same,
People only see what they want to see,
Never looking through eyes of me,
Selfishly talking to me,
What they think I should be,
But if I won't listen to them,
Then I will end up alone in every way.

Like I know that you can't take things back,
But you can make sure all the pain and suffering will be repaid back,
As smiles and good things,
Support in all the things,
You want to do,
You need to do,
Just always remember,
That I love you.

I wish you could see,
How close I am to death,
I wish you could feel,
The tightening rope around my neck,
I wish we could be once more again,
Together forever with our happy end,
But I know I won’t get it,
I know you’ll forget it,
After I’ll take my life,
I hope I get to say my one last goodbye,
I hope that you’ll be happy,
That you’ll find what I’ve lost,
I hope you won’t be angry,
That I’ve bet my life in cost,
And I’ve lost it,
I have lost my life,
I hope we don’t regret it,
Our child is never born,
I hope that you’ll come,
At that day in a dress so dark,
I hope that you’ll cry,
That you’ve lost me so young,
Cuz I’m crying now,
But you won’t come to help,
You’re too busy with your life,
With your finding yourself,
You’ll only know the cost,
When everything is lost,
You will only say it,
When you’re staring at my cross,
Oh and I know darling that this is taking too long,
But I hope that you’ve read it,
These are my final words.

And if you're still breathing, you're alive,
Don't dare to quit, make me proud,
Make everybody who doubted your​ smile,
Prove them wrong,
Show me what you got,
And if I will still be here to see it,
I will help you with the believing,
But this journey is yours to take,
I walked mine the same way,
When you will achieve it,
Don't thank me, I will be long gone,
Make somebody else to believe it,
Make somebody else this strong.

I was little bit happy,
Little bit sad,
Cuz in the end,
You will break my heart,
Still it will be wonderful,
Good times, bad times,
You can never choose,
In the end it doesn't matter,
Nothing matters really,
So take everything you got,
Cuz nothin' better is coming,
You will die like the rest of us,
Resting in our coffins.

Why are all the best memories,
The most painful to remember,
It seems like yesterday to me,
Saturday, it was december,
She had dark hair and such bright eyes,
I couldn't do anything to stop her from getting in my mind,
With just one simple smile she got me,
Yet she never intended to keep me,
It was cold and snowy,
The stars could tell the story,
We talked,
We hugged,
We kissed,
All these things I miss,
We told ourselves this is not the last time,
Yet I never saw her again,
Oh those past times,
The time flies by there is no doubt,
It was four years ago and now she's gone.

I ****** up again, didn't I?
The thing I fear the most arrives anytime,
Now I lost everything,
no I won't cry,
I will be a man and take the fight,
I'm sorry to everyone that I've ever hurt,
If you haven't met me it would be all good,
I know I will be the one burning in hell,
I'm sorry, I feel a little bit insane,
It's just the way I am,
It won't change anything but I wasn't like this from the start,
It's just the world that tore me apart,
The people,
The sorrow,
Regrets of what I will do tomorrow,
I feel like it would be best,
If I went away,
left everyone to rest,
So don't call the cops when I will lose my last fight,
Catching for the last breath, bleeding with noone aside,
I will be grateful if you will look away,
Remembering me the best way you can.

I dated a girl once,
She was in my dream this night,
We were laughing,
And livin', together there was no difference,
But then something happened,
Someone entered,
The girls life,
Another better guy,
She gave me her look,
Like this ain't gonna work,
I busted out in tears wanted to go home and drink,
But I didn't go, I wanted to see him,
He was laying in bed with you sleeping,
He saw me I started screaming,
He started to choke you for some reason,
I just went straight for his face,
Beat him till I had no energy left,
Then I woke up here,
Please god just let me sleep.

I see the light,
I see the spark,
I see the passion to ignite,
The hatred towards our enemies,
The desire to see them bleed,
Gasmasks on so we can breath,
Silencing the ones that don't believe,
We've been hurt enough in the past,
You won't take away what's mine,
You can try but won't succeed,
Because life has taught me only one thing,
Not to give up on what you love,
Or rather die than to wander around.

A simple smile can make you feel great,
A simple goodbye can make you feel so empty and dead,
Will you stand by me when these lights begin to fade?
Or will you run like the rest who left me in this pain?
I really can't tell,
The world is cruel,
You live only in memories,
When they die you die with them,
Noone will remember you were even here,
I don't believe that we will live again,
I think we are chasing the ghosts of ourselves,
The persons we would like to be,
The life we would like to live,
But all we do is dream,
Then we wake up,
And there is no-thing.

I would like to sit down and cry,
Drowning in these feelings I can't make up my mind,
Why do I have to go through this when noone else does,
Why did you raise me in this hell,
shouting all the time,
Both of you should've reconsider having a second child,
when you weren't even able to take care of the other one,
You argued every night,
You shouted and attacked each other with knifes,
Hurting each other you shattered our past,
Destroyed everything that could last,
Now when I look back,
I have nothing to smile for,
Nothing I can remember I could hope for,
Everybody else has something,
Some nice memory of their childish dreams,
I have no imagination of how it feels,
To have a normal family,
Without this I will never be able to live happily,
The only redemption I could've,
Would be to create a new family,
Not failing my kids the way they used to fail me.

Love is like a poison, it's in your blood,
it slowly kills you and then you die,
I met a girl and fell in love,
but I'm no match for her,
that's the reason why I'm sad,
she's like a devil and I want her so much,
but she goes out with another guy,
guess I'm lost,
I wonder what she would do if I died, would she come to my funeral and whispered that she loved me all the time?
Would she forget about the man who showed her what's love or would she cry for him, regretting what she lost?
Am I being selfish or going mad?
Why does she hate me so much?
All these questions and yet she asks,
Will you love me even when I tear you apart?

Do you know how it feels to be down?
Do you know how should you act when you're breaking down?
What to do when they ask you what's wrong?
When you want to say everything,
When you want to get anything,
That would help you to get up,
That would help you not to cry,
Not to give up,
Because you have no other choice than to make it,
If you fail you don't forget it,
You will regret it till the end and you will see what it means to regret.

It looks like we have found the end,
you & me that's what we were,
but now it's all gone,
you threw it away,
since you don't know why you went away,
but you did and that's all what matters,
I told you that I loved you and you didn't care,
so now I will be the one walking away.

I'm sorry for what I did to you,
I wish some things weren't so painful,
I needed some space to get my **** together,
But I should've done it some other way,
I know I've hurt you in every way,
I don't want your forgiveness,
I just wanted to let you know that you're a princess,
And that I regret smashing the best thing I had to pieces,
And that you should do what is best for you,
What you want to do,
Loving sometimes means to let go,
And I will understand if you don't want to try anymore,
When it was me who let you go.

What to do,
When everything was true,
I can't think of anything now,
Anyone,
I just need to get wasted,
Forget what I found,
I guess you don't get opportunities twice,
The first time I ****** up,
Second chances don't come up,
The fact that it was my fault is killing my mind,
I would be so glad if I woke up.

Live day by day
Cuz you never know
Today could be your last day
——————————————————
Seen too many lifeless bodies of good people
Guess this is not a place for the good ones
——————————————————
If you want to tell me something you should now
My time’s runnin’ out
——————————————————
i can’t tell if i will die in your hands or by them
——————————————————
If you’re reading this then it’s too late,
If you’re not my attempt failed
——————————————————
Everything ends,
I just hoped this would end with my death

Is there a reason behind this all?
Are we all puppets of this one mastermind?
I don't know why but I feel like you can show me the way,
I know right it's pretty ******* insane,
so I will wander around until you will save me,
drowning and kicking I will be,
so don't wait for too long baby,
I seek so much answers lately,
Are you too good for me?
Will you let me live with you happily?
I don't know, you answer me.

I wish my life would've some better cause,
Drinking myself to death,
I don't really mind,
These pretty flowers going blind,
These silly voices lost in the crowd,
People singing 'bout life,
Drinking themselves to death,
We don't mind,
Maybe it's the human nature,
To waste all things we can find,
Trying to recreate them when they are gone,
I hope one day it will be fine,
So I can look back,
Tell my son that I'm proud,
Lay down in the field and close my eyes,
Hold the hands of my wife,
Before we say one last goodbye.

Without sleep life is blank,
You see all the people chasing noone,
They rush so they can wait and they wait so they can rush,
It's just a neverending circle of crap,
Who did create this society,
Was it a god?
Was it a human?
How can you throw me in there and expect me to obey,
How can you expect me to not say **** the system,
When I didn't even get a chance to escape from this hell.

Somebody once told me "It will be okay.",
that someone was a liar and now he's another loose end,
you know people that want to **** themselves,
aren't really mad,
they just want the pain to go away and leave everything dark,
I keep remembering when I was a child, how I was happy and noone could take away my smile,
then I grew older,
got some scars,
yet I was a loner,
still smiling,
guess I was an ***,
now I wish I could go back or never was born,
because it's too painful to live here between animals and crows,
I stopped belivin' in these stupid lights and accepted that I'm leaving with nobody aside.

Like it's so hard to know what you want,
I think you don't know anyway,
I sometimes feel like there can be a new start,
And sometimes I feel like this was never planned,
I can give you the time but I don't how long will it take before I fall apart,
The funny thing is that I did this to you,
I don't know how was I able to be so rude,
I'm sorry for that,
Guess I will have to suffer the same way that did your heart.

Today I've hit the rock bottom,
It all crashed down on my shoulders,
But in all the misery I felt,
I couldn't stop thinking about you,
I felt the urge to jump,
But you grabbed me so hard,
You wouldn't let me go,
So please can you stay?
Even when you're not here,
I can feel you hugging me,
I can see you watching over me,
I love you,
I think you should know,
If I died today, I wouldn't have the chance to let you know,
So I will survive another day,
Until you will hold me again,
Take all the pain away,
With your hands on me,
With your smile for me,
I want you forever with me.

I’m sitting on a bench,
Holding a gun pointed to my head,
What would I leave here,
If i left now,
Would you miss me like you never do,
Would you kiss me like you never do,
Would you hold me as you always do,
Would I cry on your shoulder like the usual,
I mean it doesn’t matter,
My head, my mind it will shutter,
Until it finally cracks,
Leaving my scars to burst and me to bleed out.

I hate the way you threat me,
it looks like you don't love me,
so why do you say you do,
I know you're dating this other dude,
I gave you everything I had,
never leaving you or turning to you with my back,
then why did you stab me when you held my heart,
I tough you could've stayed,
why did you ran away,
I told you that I loved you,
I wish you knew how much,
now all you have are pieces of memories shattered and lost in the past.

There are thousands of pieces and memories lost,
From every dead body under it's cross,
For every little tear that did your daughter lost,
You should give her a necklase,
To remind her she's so close,
For every scream we had to hear,
For every night we wanted to dissapear,
If we would get a coin for each,
We would be rich,
And we could save ourselfs from that precious drinking *****.

It's funny yet sad,
how the pages go black,
with every touch of her,
I feel like I should care,
but I can feel nothin',
maybe it's the *******,
or maybe it isn't,
how could I know,
you torn me apart and left me with no hope,
I keep looking at my knife,
I can hear him whisper,
take me and twist me,
with that pointy end
and I will make you fade away.