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 Nov 2013 Free
R
11/14/13
 Nov 2013 Free
R
his smile is so nice
like the sweet smell of christmas
or a surprise snow day
even the sunrise can't beat that smile of yours
mhmmm....
you remind me of christmas morning.
a child's face, excited for the presents.
excited for the belief of Santa.
excited because you know
someone cares for you.
i get excited everyday because of you.
excited for the presents of your presence.
excited for the belief of you.
excited because i know
you care for me
and i care for
you.

you are my christmas morning.
and that smile of yours gets me
everytime.
 Nov 2013 Free
Lizzy
Untitled
 Nov 2013 Free
Lizzy
It feels selfish to say
But I wish you would pick me
But my gut tells me you won't

I don't tell you this
I couldn't if I tried
Because I want you to be happy

And you're happy with her
So that's okay
I'm used to the sadness

I don't write this to make you feel guilty
I don't write this because I'm jealous
I write this because I care about you
 Nov 2013 Free
Lizzy
I keep trying to wash away
The pain from my skin
But no matter how hard I scrub
The scars are still there
 Oct 2013 Free
Jewel
Words ******* like the sheets around their feet,
their minds knotted like shoelaces,
as she remembered the night when they were so in love,
as she held on to his warm baseball t-shirt,
as she stared right into his eyes that twinkles like the stars,
‘stay’ she whispered.
And then all of a sudden,
she’s left with nothing but the cold winter breeze,
without a trace of cleaned souls,
her echoes echo back,
'please'
 Oct 2013 Free
Jewel
overboard
 Oct 2013 Free
Jewel
I’m beginning to feel terrible all over again. I could feel the numbness between my bones and the soreness of my hands as I hold on tight to the end of the rope. I feel my arms tire, my eyes swell, my hair tangle, my lips crack, watching the deep dark alley below, only yearning to let go. I’m beginning to feel like I’m drowning all over again and I know, I know, no one can save me from myself but myself, but how can I possibly save myself from drowning had I been the one who drowned myself in the first place? how? how..? Knowing that I’d only flood my lungs more and drown deeper not into the sea of thoughts but rather more into the sea of empty souls, broken heartbeats, dying words, muffled cries and wrecked minds.
i apologize for yet another "human feeling" let out, but if anyone out there (or even you yes you reading this) is feeling lonely, worthless, helpless or you have forgotten who you are, take a step back and breathe. just step outside and remember, it's okay to lose yourself sometimes, it's okay to fall, it's okay to cry because we could learn again to find ourselves, to stand back up and to smile again. you have survived, you have fought until today, you are alive, breathing air, you made it through today and i'm so proud of you. I wanna thank you for being alive, for being human. You'll be okay, i promise because i believe in you and you should believe in you too x (msg me if you need somebody)
 Oct 2013 Free
Lizzy
We Got Close
 Oct 2013 Free
Lizzy
We got close.
I liked you.

I told you my story.
I liked you more.

You told me your story.
I loved you.

You got a girlfriend.
You loved her.

I became more depressed.
I smiled for you.

You made me promise.
I promised.

You're just another person I will promise to get better for.
But that really just means that I'll hide it better next time.
I think you know it, you just don't want to say it.
This is not a rhyme
this is not a poem
there is no hidden messages between ambiguous word
or conveyed through complex metaphors
this is the tears of my heart
bleeding
fuelling me
so that I can find the courage to speak
to speak the words of my soul
the words I've been dying to say
... no
to scream!!!
The words I've been dying to shout out
as a proclamation to the whole world...

I DON'T LOVE YOU
I DON'T because I don't know what love is
but I do know you make me wonder
you make me philosophize about it
about what it feels like
I DON'T know what love is...
but you make me feel
something that must be close to it
...
if not better

I think about you ALL the time...
there is not a moment that passes where I don't think of you...
not a single message from you at which I don't smile
not a single night where I hate the dawn of sleep, because it means goodbye
ALL OF MY FRICKEN POEMS ARE ABOUT YOU

last night when you were here...
in the three seconds that we kissed
in those mere blinks of an eye
when our lips softly brushed
... I was paralysed
... It was the first time in my life where my mind was COMPLETELY quiet
the first time I didn't instruct myself through a kiss
and just let go...

now your scent is stuck to me...
I smell it all the time
the smell is intoxicating
and I think of you with every breath I take
unwillingly falling further and further into your arms...

and so I call you...
just to hear your voice...
just to hear you laugh at what I say...
because hearing your voice makes my day...
the sound of your laughter...
it's a toe curling
goosebump-giving
heart-wrenching
pulse-rising
start-smiling
start-crying
but never nail baiting...
because I know you hate that
... sort of sound.

and I envy the guy who is lucky enough to have you
I envy him with all my heart.
I have a bitterness towards him compared by only few...
and a sadness towards you compared to no other greatness...

why can't you see
that his love for you is not...
nor will it ever be...
the same as my NOT-LOVE for you

can't you see he doesn't give you the romance and the happiness you deserve
the laughter and the acceptance and the complete free will...

can't you see that I adore you
... so much so that I have turned into this monster who envies...
one who feels bitter towards someone he has never met!!!

I am lost without you...
I want you...
I need you...
I want to need you...
I Better-than-love you
I xoxo you and mwa you
forever and continuous
(not-)love (- but better)
me...
 Oct 2013 Free
Jewel
I’m in love with you in the darkest dreams, i’m in love with you in the quietest of nights, i’m in love with you in the coldest of winter days. too many empty nights wrapped up in my knit sweater wondering why i held onto you although there was nothing for me to hold onto anymore. too many dead cold nights where i long for your warmth though the ice had started to melt and the flowers had started to bloom. too many mornings hoping the sun does not reveal my swollen eyes. i know it’s bad but i’m still sick in love with you.
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