my hands are filled with heartache when i wrap my fingers around your palms
begging to feel the warmth of your touch but only finding a cold limp grasp

i hear sorrow in your heartbeat when i lay my head upon your chest as your heart pumps the sadness through your body
and i consistently hope you never make that heartbeat stop

i feel the catastrophe of existence when you clutch my shoulders
forcing me to stare into dark holes where your bright eyes once resided

i see a suffering in your being that even the devil would bow down to
finding satisfaction in the distress of your every breath

most of all i see myself in the reflection of your eyes
as tears create a mirror matching misery of my own
silently begging me to fix the pain deeply rooted in your soul

so sweetheart i will give my very life and the final light left in my eyes
just to illuminate every last dark corner of your soul

for as long as i am standing by your side i will give you my everything
just so you have a fighting chance to defeat the onset of darkness that i have already given into  

s.s

i swear
that smile can fix everything

with just that one look
i can feel all the collapsed pieces of my life
forthcoming from the rubble
but then you leave
as you always do now
and that gracious grin follows

then i remember
you're not mine to keep
and unfortunately
it’s a merciless existence
without you

s.s

my “best friend” does not care
and my best friend is not there

s.s

welcome, welcome
to the poets parade
please join us now
and never be afraid
we welcome you
to march your words
across the screens of hundreds
to make your thoughts heard
we will stand with you
through thick and thin
and we promise to make sure
you don't feel alone again
we will be with you
through the good and the bad
and help you create art
out of the experiences you've had
yes welcome, welcome
to the poets parade
please join us now
and never be afraid

s.s.

i am sick of it
i am sick of waking up
only to feel utter emptiness
completely numb to the world
i am sick of talking to “friends”
who couldn't care less
and don't give a **** about me
i am sick of looking at my loved ones
only to see the disappointment i have caused
staring back at me
i am sick of being a failure
when i am trying my best
and somehow doing worst
i am sick of the nights
when i cry my eyes out
feeling worse than ever before
i am sick of living
i am sick of people
i am sick of breathing
i         am        sick

s.s

i kind of like the hurting
because it makes me feel something
other than numb
but god
oh god
i would so much rather
feel the life
that happiness brings

s.s

i miss you and i can't sleep
it's like this every night
alone and quiet as i weep
it is a constant fight
it would be so relieving
if you were just nearby
i know this all sounds so cliche
but it's a truth i can't deny
so as i lay here wide awake
there's one thought that repeats
i miss you and i can't sleep
and that's the truth i can not beat

s.s

i have heard sorrow
in the sobs of my mother
     -a sound you can't unhear

in all honesty
i would rather you hate me
than what you are doing now

i would rather you forget me
and pretend like you never knew me
than what you are doing now

i would rather you scream till i sob
and yell till your throat goes raw
than what you are doing now

because now you use affection as a weapon
and continue to keep my heart in possession
yet never really give me yours

you only come to me when you need something
and i can't say it's anything but crushing
knowing i'm nothing to you

what you are doing is just plain cruel
the pain you’re inflicting is utterly brutal
yes, i honestly wish you would hate me

s.s