Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
frankie crognale Mar 2014
"look at all the lonely people"
i waltzed into the desolate church on the corner of a street in a town i didn't know the name of.  i've turned into one of those people who spends time in cathedrals on their days off in towns i've never heard of, due to loneliness, mostly.  to my surprise, there was a young lady halfway sitting and halfway standing in a pew next to a stained glass window. her breathing was heavy, i could hear her across the room.  she had a somewhat horrified expression on her face, which was pale and almost ghostly.  she looked so dejected, it was absolutely heart-rendering. once i took a step towards her, the priest of the old church appeared and told her she had to leave her sad state and her pew next to the stained glass window. her melancholy expression remained as she walked slowly out of the church, letting the wooden door slam behind her, never once looking up at me or the priest. he took his place in the exact same spot this young girl was in, and began to write words in a small leather journal with a quill pen. i turned around and left, and decided to come back at the exact same time i did the next day, in hopes to relive the past few moments.
--
as promised, i promenaded down the center aisle of the pews in the church, the carpet crackling under my feet, due to old age, adding to the sense of eeriness that lurked through the establishment.  the young girl was not there. i sat in the pew she sat in the day prior, in hopes of her walking in once more.  i waited for hours, and she did not show.  i faintly heard the sound of a violin just as the priest walked through a door near the altar.  his hands were covered in dirt, and i was curious.  i approached him.
"hello, father. might i ask why your hands are so *****?"
"ah. you're the man from yesterday." he said, a slight glimmer of fear in his eye.
"yes, that is correct."
"you seemed to be quite fascinated by miss eleanor." it's almost as if he knew how intrigued i was by her, although i didn't know her name until now.
"eleanor? the lass from the day prior?"
"indeed. well, it upsets me to break this news to you, but my hands are battered with dirt because i've just come back from burying miss rigby in the cemetery."
"you mean there was no formal ceremony to celebrate her life? what is the matter with you?! how did she die?"
the priest looked me dead in the eye, and spoke the chilling words in a completely monotone voice.
"she was one of the lonely people."
frankie crognale Mar 2014
the taste of demise is in the back of my throat. it's stale and frigid. the coldness of the sweat dripping down my face makes me shudder. is this it? i know i'm still alive, for i can stand. the dead are unable to stand. the dead lay down in caskets. the living stand upright.
unless they're on the cusp.
what is one to do if you're standing with a hunched back? are you dead or alive?
this beautiful dress that's wrapped around my frail bones is the only thing keeping me warm in such an outbreak of chills. maybe i really am passing, for i am closer to the ground. my mind is becoming a psychological shipwreck, i can't bear to stay grounded. my heart is weak and my legs are shaky. my eyes aren't staying open. maybe that's what happens when you die. it's almost like a trance. it's an altered state of consciousness. you're halfway evolved, but not fully. you don't really know where you are. you're here, but you're not. what scares me most is that i know my fate. i know what lies ahead. the dreaded fate of being forgotten. when you die, you lose everything. people who once cared so much will eventually dry their tears. i'll be nothing but a memory.
i can no longer stand.
i am nothing.
frankie crognale Mar 2014
the wrapper of the chocolate i ate to try to cope with the dreaded feeling you left me with told me to "follow my heart".
there's a problem with me following my heart, though.
what if my heart is going backwards? what if it's doing flips? am i supposed to follow it into the depths of god knows where? what if it tells me to go up, even though it knows i'm scared of heights? what if it tells me to go across the ocean, when it knows that's my biggest fear? why should i chase something that will only cause me to hurt myself, whether it be my actual heart, or what my heart wants me to chase?
my heart was taken onto a plane that goes 30,000 feet in the air over an ocean.
i'm afraid of heights,
and i'm terrified of the ocean.
i guess i'm too afraid to follow my heart.
frankie crognale Mar 2014
i can't
help but
think of
what we
had, what
we were,
and how
what we
could have
been would
have been
something
utterly
beautiful
frankie crognale Mar 2014
we are the sun and the moon.
forever longing for one another yet destined to be apart.

we know the other one is there,
but we could never be together.

we can't see eye to eye
or face to face,
even though its well known
our minds interlock
like your rays into my beams.

it's somewhat tragic to know
that the only way for me to be seen is for you to go away;

but on the other hand,
it's somewhat beautiful
that i can only exist
because of you.
frankie crognale Mar 2014
it's awful feeling like this.  i didn't mean to push you away the way i did.  i'm regretting it now, because i didn't realize how much you really cared about me.  you'd say you missed me, and i'd tell you not to.  you'd say you were worried, and i'd tell you to stop worrying, because there was nothing to worry about, when in reality, there was everything to worry about.  that's just the problem with me, i sugarcoat everything and make it seem as though i'm perfectly fine, when i'm actually as broken as the vase i dropped on the floor earlier today, hoping some of the shards of glass would fly into my body and somehow magically contaminate my bloodstream with whatever impurities were on the surface and end my life.  that's all i ever think about, and you knew that, and chose to act on it, even when i told you not to.  i'm happy you did that, however i took advantage of your kindness because i thought you'd always be there.  now that you aren't there, i don't have anywhere to turn.  i wish i could apologize to you but i know i can't because you've moved on and you aren't one to take any steps back.  being left with no one who cares like you did really makes you think back to what you once had.  
the rush of regret that's come over me is as strong as a tidal wave.
i'm deathly afraid of the ocean.
it's sink or swim.
and i'd rather drown.
frankie crognale Feb 2014
the silence is stinging.
my ears are ringing.
the overwhelming sound of nothing has taken over.
soon enough it will turn me into what the sound is -
nothing.
Next page