So he told me.
And against my better judgement I must take him at his word.
But someones word is a good as watered down wine
Unless the seller is an honest man
and we don't have to many of those in this place we call home.
but maybe in the corners of his circular mind he feels like that.
Then his word is wine aged to perfection
and I the content buyer.

I heard the devil today.
he nagged of my noncompliance
But I can't help it that I follow no one

You can't hear me can you.
You are too busy  manipulating numbers
trying to collect data of the people you ******.
And why you count another ******
I whisper I love you.
And why you realized you miss counted and configure the numbers again
I whisper I need you.
And why you gloat of your endeavors
I cry in the back room.

It might seem impossible
but I have felt the corners of my mind folding towards one another.
my Malleable mind then felt the edge of my skull and I thought I felt it ooze through some pores.
It came back down with a deafening roar and I held my eyes shut.
I can't be here anymore
I need to get away.

Some might wonder what's the point of writing poetry.
I ask them this
What's the point of stumbling, crumbling, tumbling through life
Without writing something down?

When there's too much to say I write it all down
but
When there's too much to write I close my eyes
and sleep

And I walked among the crowd and realized
I don't belong anywhere but the safety of my mind.

And everyone you see, everything you see is off-limits.
Don't kid yourself for it's holding onto the tails of clouds
as they are spun into the distance.

The leaves have dried
The light extinguished.
There is nothing here for me

Hands manipulated the strings of the heart
leaving
nothing

Quick glances are extinguished
Leaving
nothing

It's nothing
*ignore me

Once upon a whisper, while hiking in the woods
I stumbled upon a decay stump misunderstood.
worms layered in earth it hacked
and delicately brittle leave it retched
"Take your hands and shred my roots
These days are lonesome when I am not dead."

I hope you take the time to look over the edge
And think.
Just think.
Think Hard.
Cause I'm gonna push you in.

And think.
Think Hard.
I hope you take the time to look over the edge.

Cause I'm gonna push you in

And smile.

I fell in love with a blue ocean devil
I gave him my all but he let me drown.
And when he came around I held myself and trembled
I fell in love with a blue ocean devil.

He hit me in waves and I swallowed the salt
I gagged and retched, rid my body of pain
With a smirk his face expressed no shame
"You know all this"
He uses a finger to circle the air
"Isn't my fault"

I  was the one who fell in love with a blue ocean devil.

And droplets of water morbidly spoke to one another before off the cloudy ledge they went.
(sighs)
if only they allowed for a slight angle in their trajectory upon committing suicide .
Who wants to hear feeble bodies splatter and break on impact against a window?
Frankly, (yawns) I find it rude.

And it has been coming down rain
in a drizzling sense for the past two days.
How am I to be in the old sense of the word gay?

And I continue to read the rules and regualtions
and as I do fish are flicking their tails inside my stomach
letting the acid drip off the walls.

a little piece of a soul
and we read these stories untold
-we are all the same

And we were treading the pavement with joyous steps
a building bellowed-it was a protest.
Ahead we were sister and I
When a woman charged up with black fire in her eyes.

"Go back to where you came from!"

the food was delicious but my mom's is better
the music was good it kept me dazed
but the fire in her eyes
and her strong opinionated words
has stuck with me to this day.

I escaped

the truth of reality
for a wisp of lies
         if not for a moment of peace.

my room tinted in shallow puddles of gray
        assured tranquility
                                  if only for a moment.

I escaped
            
             If  i return is of no consequence to me.

i stand  
a frail webbed cracked body
chipping,

flakes of my skin
land on the floor
covering,

i take the vacuum
and turn it on
cleaning,

company's coming over tonight

i would not allow an individual to set a foot on paths i have rummaged through the pain is not worth perspective

And as the coins are counted one by one
How much is nickel worth in apologizes?
A dime? A quarter?
lord forgive
never meant to hold up the line

His shoes bruised harshly the skin of the street
as he made his way towards me, leaving behind a trail of outlandishly ghastly fumes.
With the letter in hand, his eyes were shaded in by confusion.
His opposition towards his deployment:
He is to be wed tomorrow.
Maybe his deployment could be delayed?
But as I pondered on the matter,
The man took hold of my arm
He mustered pressure
as if he were a snake attempting to intimidate the keeper
                                 "Fix. It."
He stressed both syllables with a sickening hiss.


The air 'round us halted after a breeze
quicken it's pace
crossing the street to the sidewalk over.
His shaded eyes met my hollow eyes.


"I just had this suit dry cleaned."


And with that I snagged his soul.

And it's behind these notes
I hide and let myself sing.
Tomorrow will be better.

My path is overgrown with broken beer bottles
On my black eagle I'm goin full throttle.
It's pouring down, all around they're movin like cattle
But slipping from society is only half the battle.
My arms are ancient road maps if you connect the landmarks
Or crevices my black eagle has punctured and pecked at.
But lost you might end up if you don't get on my saddle.

the path is overgrown with broken beer bottles.
fairies beat their wings to the rhythm of ******
pulsing in their veins.
an audible yet muffled cackle is heard
the source is a stump swollen with cigarette smoke.
And I have five minutes more before I get home.

And we past each other in wal-mart
well more he bumped into me when I rounded the corner.
I was with my mother
He was his mother.
that instant I saw him , hell I was heels over head, shoot me I'm dead
Him, me, bed, but to my mom he was just a friend.

"Um, Hey mark"
Hey mark? Is his ***** tangled into knots or was there something I forgot?
Oh yeah.....the closet.
"errr Derek how your project?"
"good"
"good"

but in those 10 seconds
i felt them hands
his mountain hands hike through my hair
I felt those thirsty lips lap up every nail from the closet door.
I heard him say I love you

But that was a week ago
Now it's a week later
the present

to his mother
to My mother
we are just friends

Dear                                                                                 Poets,

Poetry is our home
Be not bashful to let it go
Poetry is our home.

Society's expectations are not to set foot for they will be our guest who will
                                                                                                                   Never leave.


be not bashful
  
P                 I
O                 S
E
T
R
Y                                                    OUR

HOME

I am paper.
You, scissors.
And you shape me
like a snowflake
Perfect,
Symmetrical
but
one thing
you forgot
to shape
was
my
inconsistency.

I am paper
you, scissors
and
you
shear
off
my unpolished
bent
"this is how i am"
edges

Do they make you uncomfortable?

Where do the scraps go?

Why do I have to be
a perfect snowflake?

How would you like to be paper today?

And my life altered
continues to surprise me
is this being dead?

my mom said the post I posted was disgusting
and I shrugged and said you just have to read the poem.

I have grown alot
wow.

Excuse me as I rant.

I am tried of trying to inhale religious  expectations
expecting it to restore some coloration
Within the walls of my longing to be accepted soul
Because once I inhale
I'm drowning with rules and regulations
Suffering by asphyxiation.
On one hand I am told not to fall into temptation
On the other my fingers count the scars of self mutilation.
And they wonder why there's lack of communication
When most spit their words calling us abominations.
But Franny that's what they believe
yeah and I believe their teachings are a form of defecation.
you see what I mean, it's all 'bout interpretation
They see lustful behavior needing modification
I see nature and nurture working in collaboration.
because I am more than just a concept of sexualization.
Because I am more than God's "Mistaken creation"

We may never know the answers
to the questions in our heads.
We may never know the answers
as we lie upon our beds.
But one thing we can rely on
is that one day it will be clear
like dew drops on blades of grass
or the feelings that echo within our hearts
telling us to take certain paths
One day we can rely on what we know
and why we know
and how we've come to know.
One day everything will be clear.
One day

I feel the dawn approaching
Ruffling through my hair
trying to play the good guy
but the sun was never there.

I hear the grumbling wind
collecting whispers as it spins
mumbling, stumbling every now and then.

i can hardly breath
is it lack of clarity
clogging up my lungs

am i even alive

slumped, barely keeping up with their feet a tapping  ,on a chair
                                                                  (Tap tap tap)
where

did
you
                                          go?

How simple it must be
To write endless poetry
Of Hate and Love, love and hate
But in reality
It just not that simple.

I found the other half my heart today
Wedged in between your canines.
Just don't let it shred even more
as you tug it out.

...Night is not the absence of the sun it's the introduction to a different state of light...

And it's as if the universe wanted to be cruel
and take her away.  No, she is not dead but I feel her leathery soul crumbling as the walls stand tall and block her from reaching my outstretched hand. I fidget, tremble while applying my mascara and the brush falls into the sink. ****, No, I won't ..cry.... and I see her growing distant drowning in the black rivers. ****....I didn't even say ....good- but I shake my head from that thought. God I am a mess staring into the mirror but then my side feels a pressure and my neck arouse in her memory...****....Ummm.....No, NO. Where is she anyway.....and why are my rivers black.....thats right mascara....

Take a breath
Let it out.

Take a breath
Let it out
Let it out.
someone told you you weren't enough
Someone told you your time is up.
Take breathe
Let it out.

And turn.

We all have those moments
when we drown in self doubt
We all have those moments
when we get stretched out

And the world becomes nothing like our dreams
And the world becomes nothing we can see

Take a breath
Let it out.
stare the world in it's eyes
and turn.
Take a breath
let it out
They can't give you
what you deserve.
They can kick you in the rear
And smear you with "queer"
But Take a breath
Let it out
Take breathe
Let...it ...Out

i wanted to find solace in your arms
but instead i find compromise and it's hard
to look into your eyes
those (I love them) eyes

And while we're ******* on a saturday
you're shirt your tucking on a sunday
Calling her saying you pulled a all nighter
then complain on how you don't like her.
but appearances are important
Aren't they....

I became a shredded piece of paper
Scattered among your piles.
You were my unruly neighbor
Always a bit hostile.

I lost myself in thoughts  of "forever Love"
Until it became too dark to see.
You held me down with thrusting shoves
On my last breathe "you never loved me."

When we inhale denial
We exhale ecstasy.
But living in denial
ain't the way to be.
We can ride that ship of fantasy
We hold them close in our dreams
But living in denial
ain't the way to be.


I tell myself I'm over it
burn them letters that you wrote.
But one is never over it
when one hangs on every note.



When we inhale denial
We exhale ecstasy.
But living in denial
ain't the way to be.
We can ride that ship of fantasy
We hold them close in our dreams
But living in denial
ain't the way to be.

I can't help but to feel
I accidentally changed you
For the better
Or worse
remains yet to be seen?

We must feed faith
to have hope.
We must feed hope
to have love.

And I find myself walking backwards
To attempt at holding on to your memory...

I wanna write a song with lyrical meaning
but don't know what to sing 'bout tonight.
S'pose I be a selfish man and sing 'bout yo love
More like the lack thereof tonight.

Them lights overhead replace faces with blur
as I watch them consume shots of burbon.
S'pose I be a sympathetic man, sing 'bout the hurt
That's be hitting them towns Rural n urban.

s'pose, I just go on home now
Watch the Sun divorce this town
as it takes all it's colors with it.

(shrugs)

And as the wind whispered in my ears
Lips began to moist my cheek.
And as the wind whispered in my ears
It spoke of secrets I wish to keep.

A soul not need to know
Where we gonna be tonight.
A soul not need to know.
Who holds me close and tight.

And maybe lovin you
Aint how it suppose to be
but this ain't their heart
So they really don't see.

And maybe we'll burn in some twisted kinda hell
we might as well
So long as I got you.


The dampened grass stain our jeans
As we rumble, tumble, fumble with love.
The dampened grass stain our jeans
As we began to play a lil' rough.


A soul not need to know
Where we gonna be tonight.
A soul not need to know.
Who holds me close and tight.

And maybe lovin you
Aint how it suppose to be
but this ain't their heart
So they really don't see.

And maybe we'll burn in some twisted kinda hell
we might as well
So long as I got you.

And maybe one day I'll be holding your hand
Taking you down an aisle
Holding your hand.
And baby, we will grow old together
Holding one another's hands
Together forever.


And maybe lovin you
Aint how it suppose to be
but this ain't their heart
So they really don't see.

And maybe we'll burn in some twisted kinda hell
we might as well
So long as I got you.

I never meant to hurt ya
Or bruise you with my words.
I never meant to hurt ya
Just wanted to be heard.

Too much time spent in the back seat
For me to sit and go for the ride.
Too much time spent in the back seat
So just wanted to be heard,
this one time.

And I probably end up in a crash
all bruised and battered
But I swear I've been on track
I just wanted to be heard.

Never teach people about democracy only to cast aside their voices.

I heard them songs you's been singin'
Them low time lonely kinda blues
I heard them songs you's been singin'
As you've been tuggin on them shoes
It ain't no problem to have them low time blues
Only, make sure to tug em right them holey worn shoes.

Now, how comes ya hollerin' 'bout someone done done you wrong?
Just take all them feelings in ya heart and turn them into song.
How comes ya writin lyrics with voodoo curses to cut like knives?
Just wish 'em a blessed day and go on with ya life.

I heard them songs ya been singin
and I says time to change up the tune.
I heard them songs ya been singin
You low time lonely kinda blues.

My brother in a fit of irritation raises his voice only to laugh something a friend said.
My sisters are quiet, either they both were visited by Mr.S or they are just quiet.
I ?
let's not speak I.