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103 · Feb 2021
My life In grayscale
bennu Feb 2021
Autumn leaves sort of half-crunch in my ears
I never really absorbed the full colors of a show

Never really had the drive to show them what it was all about
I was always waiting for you to tell me

And that's why
The world was made for her
With things left for me to do

We used to sing together,
But now it's just you.
bennu Aug 2020
so whose pocket
does the universe fold up and fit into?

it could be yours,
if the music hits you at just the right moment
eternalizing the moment in which you were Ready...

you'll know because
a piece of that infinity will break off
and collide with your brain,
reminding you it's really yours--
no strings attached:

this is a steady stream of gravity,
winding through fields of Paradoxes,
rolling into a world...
where that's what they call

daisies.

i hesitate to face the music,
to me it seems locked up, strange
cold, exclusive, mocking

this can't be the one
that fits in my pocket...

but what's reaching me from across the rift,
over fields of Paradox-daisies
yes, up through the sewer drains!
and straight to my brain?

Aquarius, with her basket of water from Anywhere
taking me just a little closer with every drop
stretching the limit, the border, the shape
illusion soup

now the f- f- fold is ... easy

did i stutter?
answer that one til your savior comes with a sickle,
a novelty, or (dare i say it?)
an improvement.

and you were so sure it wasn't me.

an ineffable kernel belied your definition.
you are formlessness pulling on the fabric just so,
giving rise to form
drinking foreign waters
and not at all considering every possible dimension!
102 · Feb 2021
Juggernaut
bennu Feb 2021
You're bold like December
The harvest held fast against nature's cruel hand
Your smile is made
Of fire and sand
Your shoulders are made
Of porcelain and ash

It's springtime when our spectrums align,
And you slide into the crook of my neck.

Then in the daytime, neon rebel blood shows in your veins
Even when your bones ache,
Even when your heart breaks.

True blood, a juggernaut girl
And I wouldn't mess with her unless you want a reason to CRY~
101 · Jan 2021
Mister dead planet
bennu Jan 2021
That's right miss Turner
Who has been hanging on all this time...

She gets it.

What they thought was dead
Will surely come back to life
In an instant of fire
In an instant of life

What they thought was dead isn't dead at all
What they never expected was about to fall

Grave is as graves do
I made this
To make you
Miss Turner *kiss*
100 · Jan 2021
A Grotesque Waking
bennu Jan 2021
Despite travels with an even tide
A cool sublimation separating hate from the garden
Cool drifting through your afternoon
Whether ripe or rotten

Drinking nectar from the garden
Its bulging eyes and gnawing mandible make their transactions
Brain swimming with nonsense
Heartbeat muted by the abscess of mutation
bennu Jan 2021
Simsom, wissin un a modder scable.

Ee sasterbuddy roun.

Cotta nodder scable--
Efry bottie younts.

Bosha hot pod o'dawdle
Scarf me nex me mekme randy
Goof, goof, a sart asoddle
Sek me sek me lek me kandy

A rim rite, a raddle
A pleep dwine of spaddle
Ohhhh, misser blimpkin,
Downda dwaddle
Hissy mifflin!!!
96 · Feb 2021
Like a cat in the night
bennu Feb 2021
You're bold like December
The harvest held fast against nature's cruel hand
Your smile is made
Of fire and sand
Your shoulders are made
Of porcelain and ash

You are what you are,
And there's no going back
It's your time to talk
But I'm holding my tongue.

But loose my bad hand, a terrible curse...
You turn to the world
And are not reimbursed
A dignified soldier of love
My sidestepping
Should sneak on by
Like a cat in the night x)
The rhythm stretch on porcelain is just so. It's to remind you you don't quite know her ... ingredients. C:

:P :P :P

I feel like I made this more about me
95 · Jan 2021
Disaster Blonde
bennu Jan 2021
Crusty old guitar
Rusty little digits
Twenty six years old
Death is but a ******

I might just be lying
I might just be drunk
I could still catch fire
******* in the trunk
95 · Mar 2021
the miscreant
bennu Mar 2021
slam verse
is an alcoholic's paint splattered canvas
you could torch it all too easily
but it's there, the prized possession
and hanging
of art collectors around the world,
god rest his soul.

the direction of the paint
to the surface
was sincere and inevitable,
a sure thing of time
and a frustrated effort
indeed.

but there's just something so
****** up
about that,
that it hangs in a museum
and you guard it with your life

your misdeeds are noted.

a miscreant strife.
95 · Mar 2021
i text you back
bennu Mar 2021
negligence has formed several kinds of rust
on my skeleton
now a nervous bag of tics
nauseous from chasing my tail

i gave aphrodite an ugly face
i painted it on her with grotesque muscle
blood and guts
then i noticed i was standing in the mirror,
naked
doing something like squeezing toothpaste into my ear canals
while singing a day to remember.

but i always text back
even if its paragraphs of acrimonious diatribe
i always text back
even if i'm just a little
verbose, perhaps
even if i'm just a little gaudy
and stupid
and i overthink everything,
i always text you back

and even if i have the wrong number
even if you called via the moon's reflection in a nasty puddle,
ew,
not my favorite method of contact, by the way--
i always text back

xoxo
94 · Feb 2021
My relationship with her
bennu Feb 2021
You are walking ******* ambrosia with nectar running through your veins
And I am an American God

**** me up into your ******
Fill me with fear and hatred and disgust til I burst like a bubble inside you
Filling you with laughter and *** and every last drop of innocence

Then I will eat you from the inside out
And you will toss your head back and laugh
And you will seize with anger and pain
And you will be forced to transmutate
And you will feel emotions you should not have ever felt

And you will give birth
To a new son
94 · Aug 2020
for Disa
bennu Aug 2020
there is something so eloquent about
you,
there is something so wrong about being
blessed
something so right about being
me

and i think a large part of that is actually you,
with your
lessons
and
good vibes
and
sweet exercise.

it's just true.
93 · Jul 2020
galveston, texas
bennu Jul 2020
fold me in
and in again
pages full of sand, palm trees, blue skies

the gulf is strange and alien,
greenish,
and at night the moon howls like the punctured sky
because i am so insane
because i got here so ...fast.

cars fly to and from the sea,
spinning me

my weathervane will eventually build a surrounding ...structure.
what i lack in confidence i make up for in sensitivity
don't you feel both sides working?
don't you wanna feel both sides working?
but for now i'll dream of prototypes
like leonardo's flying machine.

and she,
she is way too casual with adamant muscles
talking, walking, everything coolly
with a strong knot of muscle in the middle

we walk into the moon with beads of hope
just condensation on our hearts
that collects and glows
when we fall asleep
bennu Feb 2021
Today, caressed the face of God
The air displaced
As she walked by
Eruption like
A bolt of lightning

I left my mind, a little string
Of energy--
Spun out from my crown
Like a long, microscopic strand
Of spaghetti

And leaped through the air,
Molecule to molecule:
Nitrogen, oxygen
Nitrogen, nitrogen
!! Argon! Nitrogen, oxygen...
And passed another noodle,
just like me.

And we went into each other's bodies

And yes, we did
Exchange
A look
92 · Jan 2021
Gangrene
bennu Jan 2021
I hate you,
Why did you leave me,
Now i never try.

I hate you,
Why did you leave me,
You're in disguise.

And I'll never forgive you
For leaving and laying me down in my grave
Down in my grave

I guess I'll never forgive you
No matter what I say
I say

I hate you
You left me
Now I'm giving up

I hate us
We left me
Now I'm given up

It's precious
Don't waste it
She don't lie when you taste it
A better man saved it
A better man saved it
A better man saved it
A lazy man wasted
92 · Jun 2020
Mores et Facies
bennu Jun 2020
I think he loves you
But I cannot say for sure
I wouldn't trust him
Have you seen the things he's done?

Oh but it's all your fault
You, who set the ball to spin
I think he hates you
What an awful, awful sin!
bennu Dec 2020
Someone tell that little sliver she's worth being a part of.

Someone find her validation--
A gentle giant with a tender touch.

But please don't mention how I called her,
Or she might shy away
Please just love her good and proper,
She isn't here to stay

Now, I know it don't sit too pretty
Peering from the city heights
But somewhere nested there, my sliver
Sings and sings and sings despite
The noise from every animal
That ***** and eats and ***** and sleeps
My sliver that was worth it all
My sliver who was thin and deep
91 · Dec 2020
What if I got stranded
bennu Dec 2020
What if I got stranded forever on an island,
And your discography washed up,
And all I could feel was your music?

What would I know about you then?
90 · Feb 2021
Feet.
bennu Feb 2021
Touch me with your **** little feet,
In your bright colored ankle socks :3

I don't care if they're holey
I don't care if they're new

Caress my **** with your cute little socks
And tease me til I'm hard as a rock ;)
All up in my faaaaace mmmmmn
88 · Jan 2021
Beans Warhol
bennu Jan 2021
Shut them up, everyone
Saying "you're tripping"
For once we will act
Like this all makes sense.

Way too apparent
Often predictable
Stumbled on something
That no one expects

Kiss you all over
Pick up the pieces
Who would have thought
That she wanted to know?

My life is a joke!
But she knows how to take it
A can of beans
An evening ****
87 · Feb 2021
She Carries pt. 3
bennu Feb 2021
How even when it's bared and worn
(We should probably kick the ****)
Beads of love glisten in the sun every morning
She's got so much
She's got so much
Watch out
They could turn into tears
And start the whole universe through your eyes

Then we'd be sick,
Because we know her well,
But she stands in a broken room
And we'd just face it with words
And skin
Because we couldn't do it
With love
87 · Nov 2020
invisible boy
bennu Nov 2020
melt into me
boy
tonight i'll be your girlfriend
we can keep it just between us

i can feel your eyes
flickering like fire

invisible boy
who has never
taste the rainbow

melt into me boy.
tonight i am your girlfriend
87 · Jan 2021
Trust as a mistake
bennu Jan 2021
A spider's legs are like eight lies that spread in their several directions.

They are good excuses for the spider.

Crawl into my ear
Stick your fangs into my brain
And let your infection set in me

I don't want to tell you the truth
I want to be robust
The best thing to do to show you the truth
In motion? Injure trust.
87 · Mar 2020
Captain Bell
bennu Mar 2020
A slow and clumsy turn from disaster,
Enacted by a perverse captain with a fetish for twisted metal,
A bellwether romancer of the seas

A bitter day with better weather,
The amputation of dis-ease
87 · Oct 2020
Weencer
bennu Oct 2020
It hurts
Reading
The poems
Of a mentally ill man

I weence.
86 · Jul 2020
a hug from disa
bennu Jul 2020
my twisted little heart has grown to hate romance
inject it with liquor
and it'll grow a little more

rose petals lose themselves on the wind
only destined to be a passing look

some get caught on fences
and some get caught
in my mind

but none of them taste good for very long
i'm always tearing out pieces of myself and watching them decay
you're always watching me do that
and it's never comfortable, no
no just go away

don't watch me do this
85 · Jun 2020
Miss Me Missing You
bennu Jun 2020
Darling don't hang on
To clown trinkets,
And let a mad druggist ***** clunker
Go hurling off into the night

When we connect
We break apart

Here's to healing...
There's to art.
85 · Dec 2020
Bellyup
bennu Dec 2020
I think I died, he said
And stared right at the sun
The black that started swirling
Watch it overtake the sky

And sickly, from the shadow
Blossomed forth the same **** world
Only, something felt a little lighter
Something, indeed
Was missing...

Whatever it was that was missing from his skin
Left the world lighter
And so more easily let go

Like everything was aerogel
With nothing holding special hell
He remembered standing here before
With chunks torn from his heavy heart

And where he hit his head,
He fingered that old scar.

I could almost tell you something, but I'm afraid that I am dead
I whisper bleak, I love you
Try to hide the words
From God

Something just turned off in me,
I don't know what it is
I'm never sure which world I am inhabiting at present.

I'm never sure which world I am inhabiting at present,
I'm never sure which world I am inhabiting at present.

I'm never sure which world I am inhabiting at present--
I'm never sure which world I am
Inhabiting
At present.
83 · Jan 2021
What gives
bennu Jan 2021
What gives and what keeps giving
What do we keep doing with it
And what keeps living?
bennu Mar 2020
walking round the
street picking
up dead rats
with his feet

he was
the night rat
killer

gotta keep em off the streets
of Mumbai
81 · Mar 2021
the anchor of death
bennu Mar 2021
it made him dead
when she broke him with plastic
a suffocating bubble
a fracture formed through the man

they say that is what makes a man,
when you take something from him.

he dissociated:
he was the air pressing on his skin
he was everything outside of himself
outside of his control

then i guess he tore away,
breaking into other dimensions
promising them love
and poisoning this one with his sad, stony eyes.
bennu Mar 2021
well, there goes the championship
brazen ***** gleaming
tattered throat screaming
clanking down the highway like a batshit malfunctioning drone

i'm...
not gonna say
whether we won or lost

you can be the arbitrator
on that.
80 · Mar 2020
As youth is life,
bennu Mar 2020
Let the lava lay thick and hot where it will
Let it rebel against the black crust in these places
And allow its eventual slip out to sea here,
Speaking to me in some way
From the depths of magma to the sea
And stars
bennu Jan 2021
Dindle, dindle
Moffy harat--
Sopol washay kivy Karrem...

Haloolay, binsweepbmigoo!
Dashal lats a hamy dreamdrop.

Ash laren ta wa hoofy morden,
Anwal op tot gooris mork

Hing, sweech, dench, boon:
Ommay carse a see-tee korbin.

Ommay narch a long bingboon.

Ommay larse a leech, leechy bimbat a sa tarray en flelnflap.

Acatosteh.
80 · Feb 2021
She Carries pt. 1
bennu Feb 2021
Single story
Maroon van
Autumn leaves,
Long flat road

Silence.

Black mailbox,
Light blue door
Blue shutters.

Single mother,
Blue, almond eyes
Taut white skin
Slightly tear dropped
Arms and legs

With round shoulders

Then the room cracked in half

It was the first time she's had the house to herself
In weeks

The room cracked in half

First, it was the faces of family
It was work
Drinking too much and divorce
Familiar things
But then thinning out
She pulled the voids of the universe close to her heart and held them like a ******* child.

WHY
78 · Feb 2021
Gaudy Soul
bennu Feb 2021
Laying in bed
With my head by the window
I slip from my mind in a nocturne...

Plinking along golden streams and pearls
Consisting of tinsil and solid gold
Consisting of yellow petals and glitter glue,
Til my spirit gave a drop
Of blue.

I can be the yoni, who are you
I can be the pools of purple, navy trees and deep black breath
Of Everything, opening up
Reforming then,
As you.

So sing into my body,
I'll be back in a few!

With answers that dance
In a cancerous soup...

And I'll placate my palate
With your gems
In my teeth.
78 · Feb 2021
She Carries pt. 2
bennu Feb 2021
Bad day, but still mild when cut off by some kid who doesn't know

Felt the universe flip a coin,
Glad it was tails.

Heads for the wine.

****** at life enough to **** some kid on tinder,
But that requires energy.

She stares into the vase and considers how they all hold on just as tight
But some of those flowers were just losing life...

**** it, she says.

& Signs up
For the soup kitchen.
77 · Jun 2020
The Tide of Sisyphus
bennu Jun 2020
Wasted in the gully.
They found him,
Wrapped in his own neck.
He was looking for an answer.
75 · Feb 2021
the strangled self
bennu Feb 2021
the distance between us is staggering
it makes me shiver and shake
poisoning summer til my fingers are like rattling icicles

and my mouth is like a moaning tunnel to the black spot of my heart

sometimes i think i'd rather be dead than be so far from you
the kind of feeling that showers the hydrangeas with my last meal

a flickering head that tics and twitches along
i'm a bird that flies over the water
and perches on my heart
that's when i feel so close to you

but i really need to follow through.
74 · Jan 2021
Sedderwordy hinterflak
bennu Jan 2021
Scrimpshle margle daddle boogie,
Marp-a-narp a tok tocken.
Slarly barndis greddle meepshin...

A siddle mibby glockshen.

Naddle bwud a moobleshuggy--
Swaven maddie hopstick.

Aggie brang us Finfelsteenin
Maggy bwangus mopsick.

Gravel raddy hinfle snuckus
(A toddy marsh to tek homin)
Anamabble woddy fuckus, wopple noffin gomin

Amass a rate frark

Beem hoo dussin.
73 · Jan 2021
Dazzerby Sportskin
bennu Jan 2021
Sharkdoze a waisoden,
May kawaki sanden
Iffle wy kaberkisten
An mash dat hazzazen WIF.

Zeekerboxen haddlemat gwerly
Ashoo, ashoo, ashoo

Zeekermoxen ganderbly heekhok:
Manersim widdot gamookie.

Quinhingle zanstermax habeebop

Fwa da pronsenous misgaret, ahsem trungit me ligamo!
72 · Oct 2020
sour brain
bennu Oct 2020
i'll
just
sit here

eating this bag of
sour brain

beneath
the sycamore tree
i never got high
that way,
that way

sir Jesus never had me
over
for dinner

with people passing by,
some laugh
some cry

some shake their heads and sigh

some look to their husbands,
never look me in the eye
71 · Nov 2020
Confident
bennu Nov 2020
That is true,
But you still have your edges
You may be deranged
But I love you anyway.
bennu Mar 2020
You might think my touch
Is lovely,
You might think my eyes
Are nice--
You might think I'm not that ugly

All that love
For all that vice

But sometimes love is best resolved
By hoping she finds better life
Sometimes touching only hurts
And good intentions
Lead to strife
71 · Mar 2020
black on black
bennu Mar 2020
Black things you do
That's not my religion
Jaw clenched eyes forward
Jaw loose now, loose
I neither celebrate nor disparage them
Slipping to no crazy place in my mind
Keeping all things balanced
With black things you do

I examine the blood on my wrist
It's not mine
I kinda feel like I learned a lesson

I shrug and lick my lips

I'm still hungry
70 · Oct 2020
tv room
bennu Oct 2020
ana's been fantastic
her cherry red lipstick
underlining sapphires
that shimmer in the sunlight

i've been to ohio
i've been to the rodeo
i'll be wearing green
and white.
ana's been fantastic

no one really asked if
ana was elastic
i guess i almost broke her heart,
but ana's been fantastic.
it was nice meeting your fam :) 2012 was a long time ago lol
70 · Mar 2020
The removal
bennu Mar 2020
I never want your present
I never want your love
I never stop to obsess
Over where you are
Or what you did

I drank a glass of moonlight,
Enough to settle nerves
To say goodbye to forcing things
And be more at peace
With everything.
70 · Jun 2020
Mirror man
bennu Jun 2020
Mirror man was convincing
When he told me to die
He gave such good reasons
He had such sure eyes

Solid and angry
And black in the middle
Cute but he's evil, with razors
In his mind.

Razors pointed the wrong way
But just right.

Something like the antichrist.

But it left me confused.
I just don't see a reason to.
69 · Apr 2020
escapist
bennu Apr 2020
let's find ourselves anew

knowing gold to be
illusory,
just load me in
a cannon and
set the fuse alight!

a world away, a world away

blow your hands and roll the dice!
if the weather isn't nice,
you can hibernate
or migrate
like the animals do.

a world away, a world away

inspired by the moment
just as if you really owned it
let it go, it's here to stay
worlds away,
a world away
bennu Jan 2021
Agatha, agatha
Mitchin magarkle.

Gorpaloff horpinsall
Titchy and tardle.

Weys hume lot bardin rodd
You ****** it up,
Now suffer the consequences.
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