hungry for
the hollow gas
of fame?

hungry for
a thick,
eternal
flame.

filled frame
better roses
finer stories

filled glasses
open sockets
quiet sunshine

felt in organs
not deciphered

dealt with in harmonies
and not some sick,
twisted business

she
wrang
Bobby Brown's
neck

she
wants
ke$ha to
herself

she's there
waiting
with a gun.

waste of time, waste of breath
inimical, i am, to myself--
what gentle ***** are you carving now?
or adjusting your machine, now resting
on the bed... the gentle *****
of your neck
pulsing with life.

more than a sycophant
far from a martyr--
i knew how to wear
the clothes of my father.

when convoluted patients start convulsing
do they expect to find a tool
between the spasms of disorder?

when fictitious accidents lead to homeomorphisms
can i warp emotion gently around you?

is there a secret reserve
in the hyperbolic folds
of your unjust world, one deep enough
to bring it all back home?

or will you meander to the south,
float to the feather like a ground,
and rest there
with your quiet bones?

Without shoes

How unfortunate for you
That you had to meet
How unfortunate for you
That she had to cheat

Yeah well...

She told me I had staircase wit.

It was way too late
Before I got over it!

Now I can't figure out
How not to obsess
When you're wearing
Such a tight black dress

When you're staying
So close to me
So please, darling
I'm on my knees

Oh what did you learn
And who did you kiss
And how did it burn
And who did you miss

Wake up, wake up and
Roll your eyes at the world
Know it'll all be over soon

Don't you dare seize
Any ******
Opportunities
You know you're only gonna meet your doom

And when the sunrise
Meets your eyes
You'll take it
As an insult
Be offended that you're even alive

You're too offended to be alive!

Scratch at those walls
Until your fingernails bleed
You know you're only gonna waste your time
Tall walls of time
Now are calling you home
Feel them hug you, it can feel...
Sublime!

As your organs decay inside your body, today
Take a second to remember this:
Your heart just moves around your blood, silly girl
Your brain is what you use to kiss.

Detached, perfunctory
Put your mind to it
Whatever my affect is
It is in poor health

How does this occur
What is going on
I am only here
Is death a deletion

Receded and receding
Come out of your shell
Learn a little Spanish
Or you'll start to smell

Lived and not living
Given but not giving
Pull yourself up by your boots
Roots and flutes and glutes and fruits

I'm the perambulator of body parts
I am scared to be dressed like a cat
I am walking along the Gulf coast
I am dressed like a **** cat
If one piece of hair comes loose
It's really something to laugh at.

I am a walking abstract painting
I am a face and a foot and fussing hands
I am emergent of buzzing molecules
I am emergent of the Philly suburbs
I am not who people say I am
I am more than my mistakes
I am shaped of some dimension
I am more than what I am

I am proving it right now
I am entropy itself
I am filling in my shoes
Now I kick them off my feet

I am everything you dreamed,
Only local to myself
I am bound, but I will die
And I
Will always be myself

I've heard this all before
I can drink it with my thoughts
If I missed a couple things
No need to tell them I forgot,
You forgot
Apricot
I think we all forget a lot.

That I'm the earth and wind and sun
And I am not the only one
One day I will untie the Giant
Microscopic knot

Peaches & cream
Every morning

Every ugly face
Met with a sweet bouquet

Mild
Holding in the burning ball of pain

Resting her petals
Here, next to me

But I can't breathe
I think I'm allergic
Or we caressed for a moment
And I scratched your skin up

I couldn't change the angle
You don't want to think about
Me leaving

I have always hated you,
And you have always hated me.

I never got your schedule down--

One day I burned it.
You took my clothes.

I leave us all hanging when I'm off on my joyrides.

You didn't believe me when she lied.

Sometimes I break things when I get angry.

When I'm upset, it's the most glaring double standard,
And now I'm a little too spun to hold on tight
Or loose--
And that's my fault.

Your culture is so stupid...
You can't Talk about Cancer.

I love finding flaws in your framework,
Poking holes in your politics,
But I always remember
Why law(yers) exist in the first place...
Because we're flawed.

Because we're flawed,
And she is beautiful.

Touch me and you'll know me
Where and when you touch me
Do you feel what's steady
And what's softer, giving way?

Do you feel what's present
And have you daftly learned to trust it?
How will you ever know, my love

What I really was?

So wedding rings have melted,
Or else they're just like roses.
And vouchers of commitment
Need I say another word?

But solid as my bones are here--
A skeletal opinion.
Not that it really matters
But is this a sacred stance?

She laughed and tossed her hair aside
And speaking to an alien
She said, "This man interesting
But never learned to dance."

Aries' hair falls on your face

Heavenly curtains
The color of mahogany

Her cheeks are perky with a radiant smile
Her skin too tight to pinch

The wind picks up and she blows away
Like a dandelion seed hanging just by a fiber
Off of your chest and into the sky

You watched her float away like a little kid
And his birthday balloon.

...

There is nothing wrong about that.

Spin that rabbit hole to the periphery,
It is surely not too late for eudaimonia.

Make secondary that shameful stutter of yours,
Bring the pillar of the thing to the front and rest on it.

Don't focus on gaining humility, that's a paradox
More to the point is not overextending yourself
Not making this more complicated than it has to be...

Deleterious rabbit, run your course and leave me loose and ready!
Because I...
Am on time!
And I don't know what you're talking about.

Eudaimonia:
Once you were elusive

Now,
I feel the redshift in my bones.

I know that god watches me in stunning HD,
Has the whole thing on blu-ray--
But I've smudged my eyes and blurred my brain.

I've stomped my heart in the raging forum
To scoop it back up beneath my jacket
And scurry off like a disgraced man.

And I have ridden my bike headlong into traffic.

So now when I think about stars beyond that horizon
For me there is a despondence in their leaving:
A permanent obscurity gnaws at my mind.

But I'm a crusader after the holy grail,
A politician after world peace. No--
I'm a priest tripping on acid, staring at stained glass windows.

I worry that the Enemy has already made a feast of me
That in defense of myself I'd come undone
And be left with little pebbles
Eudaimonia
Are we too late

die ***** i hate you

yes,
but some holes have brains in them, too.

and i'll be ****** if i don't do something with this.

for someone not like us,
the strong, the stoic and calm
you left all that dust to the devil
without a moment's hesitation

i'll come and ride along
with ears for what is wrong
before i go off speeding again,
down the highway to hell.

Don't imbibe something a
****** idiot swallows angrily...

Drink it slowly, and
Dive into something articulate

//

Make a real intentional effort.

Make art. Rise into existence.

//

This universe reaches North,
Expanding reality.

It's safe where the zephyr rests
Some of my windier friends
Spent time getting swept up
Into the sunset

Not like the dust devils that hang around airports, no
But they'd dare after a lady's hair,
Or her lunch
See her now, picnicking out on the beach

She
Is so fine

And her lunch
Tastes so good

She's having fun.

Held so perfectly there,

By the summer air.

I'm longing to blow you
Only good fortunes
But I stay right where that zephyr rests

Gets kinda boring--
Love the hair.

So what Matt did was pretty simple,
And very awkward,
He told her that he wasn't trying to be in a relationship
Because every time he does
He tries to leverage the commitment contract to vent his distrust of anyone
He gets too jealous and crazy

And so she listened and agreed
I guess because it all made sense to her
It wasn't her favorite topic
But she knew he needed to get a place of his own to feel okay.

I look over at her around 2 am and there are flames.

She stirred. She's constantly having nightmares fueled by past abuses
Traumas beyond any pain I ever knew...

But so much of his cardiac tissue has petrified...
The jagged edges cut into the soft parts as it tries to beat-- *******

I can't feel anything anymore.

The flames.

They're licking everything up
How does she just sleep through them?
Negating everything as the plasma shreds its chemical structure
Pulling apart molecules and sending them off into the sky

Licking my eyeballs, licking her face
Licking what it means to me, combusting this bed

I fill my rocky heart with as much guilt as I can muster, trying to contain these flames with an emotion
Up to my eyes, you know...
Trying to tell myself I'll put out that fire for good.

My eyes just sort of leak.
I watch the bedroom burn
My nerves pop and crackle
In the growing inferno

I become a marionette of the dancing fire
Confused by my own flickering actions
And sick selfish dialogue

Laying still, I watch my life get mocked by twitching shadows
And I can make the flames go away but they're there

You can play with my skeleton
She's got bits of diseased meat stuck to her
I know you wanted a kiss
But well, there isn't much left.

With a twinkle in your eye you said,
"We'll see about that."
And oh sir, I didn't mean you any harm
But you had to step away
And you set the twinkle on the ground by my feet
In case I ever needed a reason to smile on a rainy day

My eyes watched it all crying septic tears of shame and guilt

No one should ever have to go down like this

So play with my skeleton
And what a romance it would be
If she danced like she used to
When I still ******* believed.

Not sure why,
But I'll be thinking of you when I die

It was just the way
The rain drummed on the balcony window
In your bedroom.

The whole world is just a long, irritating noise
Buzzing rudely past paradise
Our year is what pivots my life
I can't--
I won't
Will not change that in my mind.

Because you are my stella star
Something to always go back to
It didn't hurt that much
I'll love you forever,
And I don't know why.

She has worked herself into quite the predicament
Magnetizing love, running everything through wires
Inheriting the world diagonally again and again
Turning up the contrast until the pixels scream and bleed
Giving her children the nightmare of love
Giving her children saturated kisses
Giving them candy and drugs and hate and indifference
Breaking babies on her ******* knee with cold hard facts
Giving life to you and me

Now this may not be easy
And it may be way too ******* complicated
But I really love to see them come together
Love to see that support in hard times
Love to see that humility and working with what we have
We were meant to love each other
And that is an ancient thing

What you lose to heat death
Is all you'll gain in this cold life:
She takes you
And makes you
Abstract
Until you're gleaming with a ***** jacket
Sordid skin
Sleeping in this public park until you make it to the west coast
The weather is better there
Maybe you'll find work
In a pizza shop or something

I'll find you. I'm clawing through a labyrinth of flesh
I'll find the main artery and rip out the beating heart
Drink and drink and drink like a dying dog someone left in the desert

Will I find you...?

It's only right the previous owner will have to wander the same distance through the afterlife
To find the waters of retribution

I'll let you know
If it ever happens
If I ever get over that big old hill

You'll see it in my eyes.

But right now
They're flitting about
Looking for
Or running from
The time

These days, my veins choke on the poison
My crumbling lips could never afford you
These obtuse vestiges want recognition
But their arms just flail about
Not even feeling for a turnaround
Just twitching there, like a crushed bug

How very sad for him

But my relentless core
Was spun around yours
To the point where your face
Is graffitied over Polaris
And every sunrise pour a splash of you
Into my morning coffee

No, not today
But maybe eventually
You could be my girl.

above the sewers there was a massive city
it contained some beautiful things
above the sewers
there were families and restaurants
and romances and paintings
there were lovers and travelers
fighters and believers
above the nasty smelly sewers

above the city there was a sky
and they say that maybe eventually
somewhere
more sewers

Oh, artists!
Always losing things!

I miss you sometimes
Like the smallest slice of the moon
That almost missed my eye

What do I do with this light
That just ends me like this

Why'd I pick up this piece of pyrite
Tonight?

Because those times can't be wasted,
They had to mean something
To me.
But then the shard sinks into the sea

They never meant anything.

I'm just being stupid again.

Why haven't you stopped scanning my social media
Looking for anything you can use in your web of lies?

I hate you, and fully expected you to be an adult and let our past be our past.

You are so crazy,
In a way that I could never be,
And you can't intimidate me anymore from speaking the truth.

I may deal with things in my own weird ways,
But you really need a diaper
You are power tripping
You were when you wrote those lies
This is all that type of an emotion for you
Matt can't just be an ******* to me and get away with it

Eat my shorts, *****

I've got the TRUTH on my side.

It is VILE that you defend your lies THIS DEEPLY.
I would never defend lies the way you are defending yours.

I never wanted this with you.

I wanted to remember the good times.
Now your stupid name makes me sick.
Now I'm going crazy about my reputation
But you know what?

I'm not listening to my parents or ANYONE
Because I KNOW THE TRUTH FOR CERTAIN
I will keep speaking to exactly what happened and you can't scare me BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING.

Let it go.

Become an old lady.

Then,
Find some more dirt to lie in.

What is illegal is damaging someone's career the way you did
Sending lies to my place of work
Which resulted in my termination.

It was a good job,
And you took it from me

You got really creative in that letter.

No, this is not harassment.
It is right that I speak out to what you have done,
And this is totally legal,
Hate it or love it.

You silly girl,
You can't win with lies.

You disgust me.

You have slandered my name
Spread so many lies about me
You are so foolish
It doesn't matter how upset you are
You can't just fabricate
Your plan is futile
You have shown yourself to be a desperate, spurned liar.

You have nothing.
You can't damage me anymore.

Give up your crazy little war.
Stop making **** up.

Maybe you won't let go because you don't want to be exposed as a liar
Kick and scream, you redfaced baby

It's really hard to convince people of something that never happened.

look for the normal,
see the world cracked open?
i found a new normal--
over your house
in the sands of your time
in the mellow of your mood
in the warmth of your body

normal can be odd, like us
no mastered world would then confront me
and tell me differently
though i suppose with authority
it could sure correct me.

we live in close-knit communities
but love to travel far away
bringing back the spoils of experience
offering ourselves to the lord

and normal can be even, like them
like i said, tell me differently
bring me to my knees
and show me the error of my ways.

i remember when
you were a hungry hungry caterpillar.

munching on the leaves,
twiddling mandible,
buzzing eyes.

i would walk in the room
and you'd start spinning your cocoon

i know that soon
you'll be a butterfly.

I can take you down
When I speak of death...
But honey, this'll never be anything less
Nothing less

Yes, yes yes.
I do confess
To seducing God
In a tight black dress...

The spoils are mine.
Now,
We're perfectly entwined.

I'll never see you again
And I'll never see you again

i remember how it felt to be young,
it wasn't like this.

adult life is feeling the twisted metal in reality's flesh
and not wincing, child
for once you've learned
that there is nothing
you can do about it

you see the broken side of man,
no one in particular
but you know the most admirable thing about it
is he wouldn't let them have him for a dollar
at the cost
of being completely disposable

still, it sits in you well
to spur them all on with every earnest beat of your heart
doing little kindnesses all the same

but science weighs heavy on your skeleton
with eyes maintaining meekness
in its waning stead...
science seems to steal from you what you had as a child
a blissful ignorance
and happy curiosity

science rapes your innocence
and leaves you an empty vacuum
hungry for things of science

you've gotten used to the ways of the world
and raised a callous to it
rare is the genuine prideful flag
but fly it
if you can
more than something to be known
oh, you knew it once...
again!

In the presence of wolves, they kept close to their guns.
In the presence of love, under the watch of the sun...

But it was said in the hills wolves held thrones over men.

The worried banter
Of paranoid minds,
And not a hair
Would ere you find!

...

But should you eye
Up my canines
And point that thing at me...
I do not skulk about with wolves
So should I keep my teeth?

But I don't walk around this town
Looking for a link
Starting conversations
About teeth,
And what I think...

The light's already dancing
On you-- dancing like a fire,
Holding our potentials
Though we surely haven't met.

I can see us dancing
In the middle of the winter
Chemicals reacting
Casting shadows of regret.

Where is the brick that gives way
Where is the secret passage-way?
Where is your husband? Far away,
Off with my head.

And with your stockings on the floor,
Don't think I ever mattered more
I'll be the stars inside a boy,
Too much to live.

Help me
Make sense
Of this.

Take time to laugh at
All these late night philosophers
Float your thoughts
Upon an endless ocean

Take time to notice
When it walks right past you
What's your answer
For an endless ocean?

Tell my God
To arch her back
We will cross
Every gap

Found my answer
For an afternoon
Sadie hates it
When you kiss the moon

she asked to be buried in lingerie
and they did it for her, bathed in flowers
and told the children
before they came

crying, she balled up the letter
set it on fire
watched it burn on her bedroom floor

"you can take anything from me,
i'm over."

but she lied:
it was a year before she died,
and she hadn't given up.

I see it coming
They want to take ME
and paint ME black.

I see it coming
That guy watching me,
Eyeing me up
Do you see him!?

He thinks he's so intelligent

He thinks he's ready to take me down

Find him, you know what's happening to me is wrong

Rather than have them raise me up just to lie about me and make me out to be something I'm not,
Stop that from happening and let me be known for who I am.

There is the way it really is,
And there is the way I see that you could spin it
I just feel vulnerable
No one is fully innocent but my life is void of heavy sins like that
I'm pathetic but I am not an evil person

i want to be
a man whose feet
denote beloved
and forsaken

whose heart knows,
who follows love
too quickly for his demons

cut up,
cut up, you cut me up
you cut me up to pieces

to face the red
and dash the black
you cut me up to pieces