I never suspected I had OCD
Until I replayed your voicemail
On the answering machine
A total of twelve times
Every evening
Just to hear your voice again
Or until I opened your dresser drawer
Thirty times
Before I went to bed
Just so I could smell
Your leftover scent
Wafting into the air
Or until I rearranged my shoes
In the closet four times
Before I left the house
Because you hated tripping over them
On your way out
But I knew I didn't have OCD
When I finally locked the door
And turned off the light
And made the bed on your side
For the very last time.

i think i’m in love with you. You have a nice smile, no, nice is a ****** adjective. you have a smile like slow-twisting clouds above the line of dawn, it tears me apart in the best possible way. You make me unable to focus on anything on a continual basis. You

should come over. please?. Someday, i'll stop being so sad. i hope you realise it'll probably be because of you. You + me = well, we could merge escapist tendencies and get out of here, if you'd like.

If i saw you now i’d kiss you. no, i say that, but i’d probably just look at you and say nothing and wish i could say... everything, but all i want is to see you, i want to just smile at you, mainly i want to kiss you. i

would build an ocean, just

for you. If i could sing you any song it would be untitled, like all the rest of them.

We could curl up in blankets and ignore everything else, except one another’s eyes, under the stars.

Love,
sad little tom

(P.S. just try to be happy, ok?.)

*((P.P.S. try to realise how ******* wonderfully i feel about you though, ok? my tongue is a knot, but i really do. next time i see you, i'll tell you. promise. x))

I sat next to a heart that I knew was breaking
He laughed along to the rhythm of the room
And only broke his pretty little smile
When he was sure no one was watching
But I never really looked away

brown blotches
feathers in no way
glossy
unnoticed
and
dull.
small fragile
bones.
a sister of
depression,
people will always pass over thee.
of course when there's
creatures like cardinals
with
flaming red bodies.

but eyes cannot tell all
for ears that open too
can never mistaken
the ever sweet
tune of the
bird
almost always
forgotten;
but not quite.

a fear of love
and a fear of
forever

you asked me once,
and i kissed you better

can we call it now?
when we're living
our past?

or lock lips
and break out
of this
cast?

should we now,
or could we ever?

she's off to the other side
of the globe
and he's gone
states away
and i'm here
wandering
wondering
when
will i be the one to go?

jasper, come home.
not only because i love your smile
not only because you smell like rain and cedar trees
not only because the way you hold me feels like himininn
not only because when you sing songs softly to me my ears rejoice
not only because i haven't hugged your body in nine whole days
not only because the things you say make me feel secure
not only because i enjoy your company in the woods
not only because swimming is less scary with you
not only because you make me feel like gold

but because when i need someone to talk to,
my first choice is you.

you are not judgemental.
you are confidential.
you are caring, respectful, and loyal.

and sometimes i need to cry,
and sometimes i need to laugh,
and though i'm happy for you that you've gone so far this summer,
sometimes i want you to be here.

teleport to the chair next to my bed,
or as i'm painting with the easel you made me,
appear behind me and say something into my ear.
anything. anything.
just please, be near.