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Take yourself. Your beautiful Self.
That premolded Self of you.
The You that everyone wanted you to be. And you are.
You are that perfect idea, on the outside.

On the inside, a prisoner pounding on stone walls.
****** knuckles and soot in your eyes.
For years that same person has pounded on those same walls.
Begging to get out.

Begging to take the place of that stranger, on the outside.
The prisoner sits in the ashes. Alone in the dark.
Until one day you hear the faintest chirp.
You ignore it.

Years pass by and you hear it chirping again.
Once more, the prisoner ignores.
It is hopeless.

For the final time, you hear the chirping.
This time it is different. It is much louder.
The chirping becomes almost deafening.

Finally the prisoner looks up.
What you see, you never could’ve imagined.
It was the brightest light.

So bright, it burned your eyes to gaze upon it.
Instinct told you to look away but staring felt like your only option.
The longer you looked, the less it burned.

Even through the soot in your eyes, everything became clearer.
You realized something that day.

That maybe this wasn’t a prison, at all.
It was just the bottom of a well.
You merely had to look up.

Freedom was that simple.

So, you climbed those stone walls.
As you got nearer to the top, your climb became easier.
Until you found yourself climbing the rungs of a ladder.
Finally, you reach the top.

No ****** knuckles.
No soot in your eyes.

You search for the impostor on the outside.
But they’re already gone.
It’s only you now.

As free as that chirping bird you once heard, in your prison.
The poet in me is bursting to be free
To take the pen of countless men and write

“Oh to break through this mess of angry love
to put right what has died in me.

The strong surviving part that cries tears
Has many fears of living”

Breakout prisoner of mine and don’t analyze yourself

Be young in passion and take care
In fashion of the reckless

Be reckless, loveless lover

MOORE
Jitters
Worries
Panic

Short breath

Its all a dream
No. no REM here
Only reality
Up all night

Guilt

Questions
When did it get done?
Was it done right?
Will I ever be good enough?

In my head
Always.
ANXIETY.
It hits you like a wave in the ocean

All at once
A burning fire

Driving your passion
Your passion driving it

It comes in many forms

Inspiration
Pressure
Purpose

If we could just hold onto that moment
One second
One minute
One hour
…longer

We could accomplish all things
Be anything
Change everything
Bombarded with lights, flashes.
Always in my face.
Eyelids pulled back.

Urges to make purchases.

Collecting my words.
Preying on what’s heard.
Leeching on my mental state.
Can’t escape this fate.

Click. Click. Click.

An item I never needed.
A gift I never wanted.

Colossal debt.
Heart palpitations.
Blood money.
People say “get over it”
But aching hearts are screaming to be free.

People say “get over it”
But they are deaf to all the pleas.

People say “get over it”
But they don’t want those sad souls to succeed.

People say “get over it”
Because they want us to shut up and agree.
A vision of aqua skies and dancing clouds.
The summer sun warming your cheeks.
The wind whistling through your hair.

Running. running. running.

Above all you feel…
Invincible. Unstoppable.
You can’t be caught.

Tag, you’re it.

It’s a letdown.
It’s a disaster.

It’s failure.

When you were a child, it was so easy to accept.
You could feel defeat and be fazed for only a moment.
Now everything is so permanent.
The stakes are higher.

Which is why it makes everything more complicated.
Heartbreak could keep knocking over and over.
Quit the game or play again?

It’s a letdown.
It’s a disaster.
It’s failure.

But more than anything…
It’s your destiny.

Play again.
Getting out of bed is a feat some days
I just want to sleep some days
To get away. From the noise of the world

The guilt
The expectations
The intrusive memories of pain & blame that whisper loudly through my shame

The painstaking loudness is consuming and immense
It drains me of my lifeforce, my freeness, my subsistence

But I tread through the dark whirling water
I swim opposite the fierce tidal current, trying not to falter
If I let myself sink it will be too difficult to clear the heavy sandpapery water from my lungs

I see the light in brief gasps of red as I tread the voices in my head

Dysfunctional. Defective. Dead. like a battery
But I’m still Living. Operating. Performing.

Performing for most, a glimmer of a smile and a happy anecdote

But not all, not all of the Someones

I found the ones who breathe air into my tired lungs
The ones who offer me refuge on their lifeboats of truth
So that I may rest my weary body when I am too tired and it's too foggy

I heal, I recharge, I feel steady on their barge
Only then do I return to the waters
On my own
Maintaining
Building up
Becoming more resilient with each wave
Some of you are homeless
Some of you are limbless
Some are battling PTSD
But all of you are fighting battles
of that we just can't see

Thank you, Veterans

Thank you for giving up your normalcy
So, all of us can live in peace & harmony

— The End —