Your voice is like a silent whisper that I no longer wish to hear

On any given day it breaks me down
like the soft hiss and hush of waves
working to break the levee

I feel your voice speaking from inside my cheeks

It feels like forever
and I still can't seem to shake you from my skin
how I say things the way you used to say them

how I sometimes think about things that make me uncomfortable
and say your name out loud to halt my thought's direction

I ******* miss you
but I don't want to miss you anymore

Moving on is the dilemma for ghosts
Who have nothing left to hold on to

I can't hold your ghost
There are people here who
are still perfectly capable of holding me

And when I see you again
Maybe you won't be able to hold me

Because I imagine
heaven
is energy

I know this in the way my skin still heats up
at the thought of your touch
you move my molecules a fire-friction-engine-rumble

You are energy
and this is how I know you are happy
because there isn't anything else you can be

This is how I know heaven is real
God is a ball of light that feels like a fiery smile when you touch it

But I still hear your voice at night
and maybe your memories creep up
like epiphany shivers
like

   oh
This is just me missing you
I am still human
and I am allowed to do silly human  things

Because I am alive
and so much self preservation
I haven't let you go yet

Which is why I still hear you
reminding me to do stupid things like take care of myself
and to not hang my head so wrecking-ball heavy
unless I am finally breaking down my own walls
to sucker punch my gut
in order to remind my lungs
that even without you here
the air still tastes so sweet

Reset my suckerpunch
to gasp
to fight for inhale
to understand
that my own breath
still tastes so sweet

I hear you
you silent whisperer
I hear you

Love is my religion

Its what I do best

Its the hunger that invades me

Its what knows me best

Grabs me by my inner soul

Holds me tight wont let me go

The strength is has astonishes me so

You cant hold it inside your hands

Or put it on a shelf to admire

Its subtle yet strong

Sometimes may be wrong

But its what I do and where I belong

When I see you I don't know if I really see you

Turn around let me look at you

Don't let this disappear

The lack of color

The cry in the night

Love your hungry hands

So desperate and weak

We make gentle kisses as I weep

I will own your heart make it my mine

Won't put a price on it

It's not meant to be sold

I go crazy with fear

Afraid you will go leaving me here

I dream

Want to scream without you

Our worlds seem so far away

If I could just reach you and have you as my own

Unyielding deeper into the core

I go and find you there

Impatient and fevered

Naked and torrid

Strength that takes me

Dampens my eyes

Escape reaches me

And I don't know why

Next time you tell me to go away
I'll show you just how good I am at disappearing
You just haven't stuck around long enough for the
vanishing act
You have the audacity to
say my name tastes like filth
But have you ever thought
that the source of your uncleanliness
was born somewhere in your lung's
and made its way up your throat
I can taste that
when I kiss you
No wonder everything turn's to grit
in your mouth
You have the stones
to say
you're an insomniac
But there's a difference between
not wanting to sleep
and not being able to
And your hands wouldn't shake so much
if you didn't drink so much coffee
and you wouldn't look so tired
If you smiled once in a while
and your breath wouldn't taste
or smell
or look
like ****
if you didn't smoke
100 packets a day.
So you have the audacity to tell me
"Well, baby the truth hurts."
In that southern drawl
With eyes so animated
I wonder which movie star you're impersonating now
After four months of Kurt Cobain
I've had enough of your angst and love letters
And I'd love to lay
my hands against your throat
and let you feel the threat
of life
draining away
But I know you would just smile
and rack your brain
for a quote from a movie you have stored somewhere
away

Look, my love,
at the sliver of moon.

Luna smiles red,now.

Look beloved,
look at me
as you would the moon,
your fair gaze reflecting only
the beauty of the eternal love
I hold for you.

I forever am your midnight.
You are forever
my dearest,
my darkest love.

Your smile inspires me
To write

I have already spoken about hearts
and their inability to affect other peoples hearts
I'll never go there again

But your smile
makes me smile

You've got dimples designed for sailing
kiss me
and we'll make a ship
big enough to break the bay

Brave enough the beach our bellies
to kiss new land

Smile so big you chew the tip of your tongue again
I want to make you laugh so hard
and so often
you have crows feet by the time you're 30

You are an ocean-throat whisper
of salty air
and sand that sticks to the bottom of my feet like a memory
the way my feet always remember how to land
to cushion the blow

Inside your smile are lists
lessons on living
that you might one day tell me
it's hard to talk when you catch wind like you do

I want to kiss the words out
taste your language

Run my thumb along the bottom crescent
curved first finger under your chin

Your smile is a language
anyone can learn
I can read your lips

At least I think I can read your lips

They always say kiss me

say

There is a secret hidden between these teeth
Tucked under this tongue
Buried in the back of this throat

Coax it out
I dare you

Secrets are prone to laughter
find safety in the crevices
of dimples designed for sailing

Tell me what it is

Your smile inspires me
To write
To kiss you
To mirror back your language
With my
Broken toothed
and ***** dimpled
secret

Your smile
I want to kiss it

feels of a whole roughness
a heart cloven
seeps from a pair of oncenoble
girl eyes,

                   "sometimes I just want to die"

hand which by is felt the stem
is set crimson at thorned *****
red so like the rose suddenly at
lips gleaming supping feverishly
at pains sorest pleasure(the palm
who riven draws even deeper the
pointed inch of agony to bone fine
white as a silk worm skin) like a
lily stupid with *** the comparable
hurt of which a hand that likes to
bleed

cool you
feel like drunk
with poppies air
and you crawl up
into fathomless miles
of Summer mornings you
creep with vine and thistle
you latticed with ivy groan
with young muscles tight against
bone and joint you ceaseless merry
golden and rough silken breaths of
dawn you are fine and pale and you
have nice shoulders and feel like Spring
inside you feel like wet and perfectly fits
me inside of you there is just enough room for me