.

Feeling lost and feeling lonely
Can't I be your one and only?
Wandering along to my own heartbeat
Life's more fun with another pair of feet
A *** to squeeze, a hand to hold
A pocket to put my fingers in, when they get cold.
Someone to splash when I jump in puddles.
A lover to stop me getting in a muddle
A friend, a foe, a confidant.

You say, but with no touch of scorn,
Sweet-hearted, you, whose light-blue eyes
Are tender over drowning flies,
You tell me, doubt is Devil-born.

I know not: one indeed I knew
In many a subtle question versed,
Who touch'd a jarring lyre at first,
But ever strove to make it true:

Perplext in faith, but pure in deeds,
At last he beat his music out.
There lives more faith in honest doubt,
Believe me, than in half the creeds.

He fought his doubts and gather'd strength,
He would not make his judgment blind,
He faced the spectres of the mind
And laid them: thus he came at length

To find a stronger faith his own;
And Power was with him in the night,
Which makes the darkness and the light,
And dwells not in the light alone,

But in the darkness and the cloud,
As over Sinai's peaks of old,
Altho' the trumpet blew so loud.

I
am torn.
Like the papers you signed.
Forced.
Forced to raise the boys
with you
and
your fears.
Forced into silence;
keeping myself from what I deserved
as a daughter,
to silence your tears.

My hero.
I saw you strong,
time and time again.
But I, too, saw your achilles bare.
I know the ins-and-outs.
I was there.
I share those feelings --
I share that experience.
I share the life that we were forced,
together,
to live.

But now,
with our loss --
I'm stamped.
The title:
DAMAGED GOODS.

I am not me;
I am the product of a splitting of a man and his wife.
I am the adultery.
I am the unwanted.

Well, now that I'm wanted
you must now forgive me for wondering.

I've waited patiently,
and gone through the motions;
Now that I can,
I can't.
The unfair tugging at my heart strings.
The love for you and the yearning for what my life could have been.
Don't let me have that.

I deserve to know.
I deserve a blank slate --
whether new or cleaned off --
it matters not to me.
I will make the mistakes
or I will relish
in the ways of human kind:
The ability to change and adapt;
The same ability I put into motion.
If you can change, we all can change.

So,
please.
I beg of you.
I represent not the hatred
and I will not bear it any longer.
You are my flesh,
you are my blood.
And I owe you the rewards of my life.
But he,
he is my flesh
and my blood
too...