A man screams in his sleep.
Her features all aligned into a perfect order
Just because I'm hungry doesn't mean I have to eat.
A low hum
Burring  into my mind
Drives me into vicious fits of obsession
She stirs me

I look at her but cannot see her.
I try so hard to drink her in.
Every feature I want to drown in.
The vision is only a drop to a dying thirst

I stare so uncomfortably at her soft skin.
Guilty I lust for her.
She exemplified feminine strength

She stings me with her beauty
And Instills in me a sadness I can't understand

Consciously torn between being a dog and a man.
Stuffed my shame into my belly and moved on.

Eyes, orb as exploding stars,
Weighted light of hair rushing,
Held extremities, nimbus limbs,
Eons' spring, singularity crushing.

I was once told God loves everyone
So why do I see so many wanting to die
Why doesn't God here them as they cry
When all they really need is someone

I don't want to see them fight themselves
Nor do I want to see their world crash down
I don't want to watch a friend start to drown
Because they feel like a doll left on the shelf

I don't want to put faith in Gods hands
When he might come a little to late
Because they were left with only hate
And were so hungry they couldn't stand

I don't want to watch someone die
Because they think they're fat
Why won't God fix that
No point asking why

morning cigarettes
never will be enough to
ignite a lost soul

Home was having my best friend
hold my hair back
because I'd had one too many shots.

Home was listening to him
play a combination of notes
that told the stories of lovers' pasts.

Home was kissing a beautiful dark-haired girl
and laughing because
her saliva tasted like sativa.

Home was a place of sunshine,
peasant skirts, reggae.
Boys covered in dreadlocks smiling up at me from their yoga.

Home was falling asleep
on Vicodin
and sadness.

but now I am just lost.