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 Dec 2013 Fluffy Genocide
I will never have an adventure like the beautiful people in the movies.
I will never be able to afford cigarettes with a foreign name or silver box.
I will never have the roots of my hair dyed on time.
I will never have a lighter that is completely full.
I will never read as many books as I've convinced myself I have to.
I will never have a house with marble floors and granite countertops.
I will never have a razor that doesn't knick my ankles.
I will never be queen of anything
 Dec 2013 Fluffy Genocide
I am the reason you know how to spell loneliest.
You are the reason I ache.

This black ceiling I spent hours painting is getting
closer to me.

Is it cold there?
Do you miss me like I miss you?

The harder you hit the water
the further you sink.
A man screams in his sleep.
Her features all aligned into a perfect order
Just because I'm hungry doesn't mean I have to eat.
A low hum
Burring  into my mind
Drives me into vicious fits of obsession
She stirs me

I look at her but cannot see her.
I try so hard to drink her in.
Every feature I want to drown in.
The vision is only a drop to a dying thirst

I stare so uncomfortably at her soft skin.
Guilty I lust for her.
She exemplified feminine strength

She stings me with her beauty
And Instills in me a sadness I can't understand

Consciously torn between being a dog and a man.
Stuffed my shame into my belly and moved on.
Eyes, orb as exploding stars,
Weighted light of hair rushing,
Held extremities, nimbus limbs,
Eons' spring, singularity crushing.
I was once told God loves everyone
So why do I see so many wanting to die
Why doesn't God here them as they cry
When all they really need is someone

I don't want to see them fight themselves
Nor do I want to see their world crash down
I don't want to watch a friend start to drown
Because they feel like a doll left on the shelf

I don't want to put faith in Gods hands
When he might come a little to late
Because they were left with only hate
And were so hungry they couldn't stand

I don't want to watch someone die
Because they think they're fat
Why won't God fix that
No point asking why
 Oct 2013 Fluffy Genocide
morning cigarettes
never will be enough to
ignite a lost soul
 Oct 2013 Fluffy Genocide
Home was having my best friend
hold my hair back
because I'd had one too many shots.

Home was listening to him
play a combination of notes
that told the stories of lovers' pasts.

Home was kissing a beautiful dark-haired girl
and laughing because
her saliva tasted like sativa.

Home was a place of sunshine,
peasant skirts, reggae.
Boys covered in dreadlocks smiling up at me from their yoga.

Home was falling asleep
on Vicodin
and sadness.

but now I am just lost.
TW: Drug reference (******). I don't really like this so I'll probably edit it later.

— The End —