I curse too much

If you ever hear me speak in person
I'm terribly sorry
I am such a ***** mouth
Literally every sentence
That comes from my ***** mouth
Has the word "****" in it
It's horrible
So very unladylike
And I'm sorry
I have to ****** your ears like that
One year ago
I almost never cursed
I would get mad at others
For doing so
Then I tried the word
It tasted new and spicy
I tried it again
And again and again
Now the word is a permanent part of my language
And I have no use for it
Perhaps the reason
I use these disgusting words
Is to weigh my words down
Make people actually listen to what I have to say
It turns heads
It gives my words power
It makes me feel powerful
But it harms my reputation
I'm supposed to be
'A good little Mormon church girl'
Yeah I bet you never guessed that
But whenever I tell people that
They're surprised.
"There is no way in hell that you're Mormon!"
They always say
But that's beside the point
I curse too much
I'm sorry
And I do try to change my ways
Not hard enough,
But I do try.

I don't take risks.

I like to play it safe
If I know how the end is
I'll usually take it
I don't normally do new things
I just don't
I'm afraid to fail at anything
But if I do fail
I end up not caring
It's a process I have
I never thought about it til now
But it's true.

See,
I know a girl
She's in band with me
And she is the most
Determined *******
I have ever seen.
I swear to God
She just doesn't stop trying
And she fails
Every. Single. Time.
She probably has
A time or two
Actually gotten what she was after
But ****
If I had but
A mustard seed
Of the determination
That she has,
Man,
I could rule the world!

But the thing she does
That I don't do
Is try.
Simply try.
I am given chances to do things
Try new things
Meet new people
Do things I've never done before
But I never take it up
I never take the chance
I flake it off
And stay home instead

So I think
Starting now
I'm going to try more.

I'm going to challenge my courses
I'm going to learn those instruments
I'm going to get better at what I do
I'm going to become ambidextrous
I'm going to define my style
I'm going to travel the world
I'm going to New York
I'm going to do all these things

Yet I'm still not going to take a chance with you.



Old habits die hard, after all.